Dating people from other cultures

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an American born white man. I dated several foreign born women after my divorce. They weren't conservative. They're very feminist. Their ex husbands couldn't handle their independence and professional success.

I noticed that in some ways they tended to be more conservative than American women. Most of them felt strongly that men should pay for dates, open car doors, etc. Most wore nicer clothes and more makeup than American women with liberal significant professional accomplishments.

The ones from Europe and Latin America have usually had many sexual partners. The ones from Asia and the Middle East usually haven't had all that many.

These were middle aged divorced women.

They’re liberal by their own country’s standards but conservative by American standards. My wife is from Latin America. She’s feminist in that she believes in women’s financial independence, against machismo culture and violence against women (which is a major issue in Latin America). But she’s also against tattooing/body modifications, makes fun of American women for being promiscuous, mocks LGBT’s, thinks the man should earn all the money, and has some racist views on other ethnicities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman of color, I'd encourage OP to examine why she is drawn to so many men from other cultures. It's one thing to fall for someone who is a classmate or someone in your pickleball club who happens to be a POC or from another country. But it sounds like you're seeking them out BECAUSE they are from a different culture, and that reeks of culture vulture behavior.

OP. Hmmm, I use OLD a lot and that’s who tends to be attracted to me + who I’m attracted to back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am from one of the "other culture". I believe and have experienced that the culture and environment of a household/family and how the kids are raised is determined primarily by the mother. For this reason, I am ok with my DD marrying a White man, but not my DS marrying a White woman.

This is awful . So much misogynism
What’s making you believe white women are not good fit for your son ?

...I believe and have experienced that the culture and environment of a household/family and how the kids are raised is determined primarily by the mother... '

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am from one of the "other culture". I believe and have experienced that the culture and environment of a household/family and how the kids are raised is determined primarily by the mother. For this reason, I am ok with my DD marrying a White man, but not my DS marrying a White woman.

It's this. This is the conventional wisdom for a reason -- it's mom who determines what gets transmitted culturally. You don't know how powerful your programming and values are until you have a kid of your own and you repeat what you learned.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman of color, I'd encourage OP to examine why she is drawn to so many men from other cultures. It's one thing to fall for someone who is a classmate or someone in your pickleball club who happens to be a POC or from another country. But it sounds like you're seeking them out BECAUSE they are from a different culture, and that reeks of culture vulture behavior.

Agree with this. Love is love. And you deal with the mothers-in-law. But talking about years of only dating people outside their culture sounds more like a fetish. Which is a very different thing than just meeting someone at Pickleball and making a go of things, despite the mother-in-law.

DP. Not sure I agree.

It’s kinda trite to simply parrot “love is love.” That’s dodging the issue.

What I mean is: sure, love who you want, but if it’s a man from another culture, and you know his culture will always be biased against you, then you are the one forcing him to choose between love for you and the love between his parents and him (not to mention the rest of the family).

You can demand the simplistic “love is love” thing from white American men, (they have to go along) but it’s probably not ok to do that to multicultural people.

Men with balls who put their wife before mommy can be found in any culture. This is really a personality and character thing.

[Anonymous]

I'm a man from "one of those cultures", and my parents have never had any say in who I date or marry.

So it really depends on how westernized or traditional that person is, because other than skin color of my family and I, there's nothing that would be inherently different than marrying someone Caucasian.

[Anonymous]

Im a woman from a Caribbean family.

While my family absolutely tried to have a say in who I dated.. I ignored.

[Anonymous]

I’m from “one of those cultures.” And I’m American. Just sayin’

[Anonymous]

You can always find an orphan who is fine staying childless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want marriage no it is it worth dating these guys. They will ultimately marry from their culture.

Even Princess Diana could not get the Pakistani surgeon to marry her after she fell in love with him. He ended up marrying a younger Muslim woman from Pakistan.

Diana was dating him decades ago and he wasn't raised in a western country, he went to UK for higher education in his mid 20's and was raised in a very conservative family from a village. Marrying a paparazzi magnet like Diana would've altered his simple life.

You can't compare him to someone who grew up in United States and has western influenced parents living here.

[Anonymous]

We are Indian origin Muslims and many young men and women in our community (born and raised here) are married people from other cultures and religions and most parents are perfectly okay with that even though it's not their preference but happiness of their children is. That being said, many others meet and exceed stereotypes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re having fun dating you until they marry someone their family approves of. This kind of behavior is tolerated and even encouraged in certain cultures as just young men sowing their wild oats. Know the score and don’t waste your time if marriage is your goal.

x1000

learn to remove red flags in your life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are Indian origin Muslims and many young men and women in our community (born and raised here) are married people from other cultures and religions and most parents are perfectly okay with that even though it's not their preference but happiness of their children is. That being said, many others meet and exceed stereotypes.

If the spouse is White, Ivy League educated, and a doctor, the parents are more willing to make an exception. 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman of color, I'd encourage OP to examine why she is drawn to so many men from other cultures. It's one thing to fall for someone who is a classmate or someone in your pickleball club who happens to be a POC or from another country. But it sounds like you're seeking them out BECAUSE they are from a different culture, and that reeks of culture vulture behavior.

Agree with this. Love is love. And you deal with the mothers-in-law. But talking about years of only dating people outside their culture sounds more like a fetish. Which is a very different thing than just meeting someone at Pickleball and making a go of things, despite the mother-in-law.

DP. Not sure I agree.

It’s kinda trite to simply parrot “love is love.” That’s dodging the issue.

What I mean is: sure, love who you want, but if it’s a man from another culture, and you know his culture will always be biased against you, then you are the one forcing him to choose between love for you and the love between his parents and him (not to mention the rest of the family).

You can demand the simplistic “love is love” thing from white American men, (they have to go along) but it’s probably not ok to do that to multicultural people.

Men with balls who put their wife before mommy can be found in any culture. This is really a personality and character thing.

Men with balls and women with ovaries should be able to simultaneously love their partners and parents and maintain healthy boundaries with all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am from one of the "other culture". I believe and have experienced that the culture and environment of a household/family and how the kids are raised is determined primarily by the mother. For this reason, I am ok with my DD marrying a White man, but not my DS marrying a White woman.

This is awful . So much misogynism
What’s making you believe white women are not good fit for your son ?

DP

Not all white women…American/canadian/british absolutely not.

But French, Italian, Slavic - ok.