How to appropriately decline this invite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's weird you wouldn't go and not weird at all that she invited you. Your dh is good friends with her dh and you've gotten together for couple things at least once and you were at her housewarming. I think someone on dcum would write a post hurt if they hadn't gotten an invite for this!

So you have no interest in being friends with her having a couple friendship? My husband has a good work friend whose wife doesn't come over when we have people over - just he comes with an excuse for her. We get the message. It's fine. She'll get the message when she has dinners or gatherings and only your husband goes. No need to send her this message on her baby shower.

I hate the expectation that just because my husband is friends with someone, that I have to be friends with their wife. My husband is very extroverted and has a lot of friends he gets together with. Im more introverted and have no interest in becoming friends with their spouses.

Who is expecting that? Perhaps she liked you, although the more you post the less I think that's likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I had been to a party at someone's house, and out to dinner as a couple, I would not have been surprised to get a shower invite. I think its weird you were surprised.

Why not just go and try to enjoy yourself?

Agreed. And so weird that OP has been out to dinner with this woman and to her house and yet didn't remember her name?
OP is an odd bird.
Can't figure out a "I'm sorry, can't make it. Congratulations!" post. Can't remember the name of someone she's spent multiple days with. How socially inept can you get?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's weird you wouldn't go and not weird at all that she invited you. Your dh is good friends with her dh and you've gotten together for couple things at least once and you were at her housewarming. I think someone on dcum would write a post hurt if they hadn't gotten an invite for this!

So you have no interest in being friends with her having a couple friendship? My husband has a good work friend whose wife doesn't come over when we have people over - just he comes with an excuse for her. We get the message. It's fine. She'll get the message when she has dinners or gatherings and only your husband goes. No need to send her this message on her baby shower.

I hate the expectation that just because my husband is friends with someone, that I have to be friends with their wife. My husband is very extroverted and has a lot of friends he gets together with. Im more introverted and have no interest in becoming friends with their spouses.

Who is expecting that? Perhaps she liked you, although the more you post the less I think that's likely.

Oh, I’m a different poster. I think the OP should suck it up and go to an hour, a baby shower is different than a dinner, etc. just be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's stuff like this that leads to the legion of posts on here: "I'm lived across the US and the DC is the least friendly place I've ever been."

Clearly this woman is being warm and wants to be friends. But OP is like, "oh no! God forbid I make a new friend!."
And then is weird enough that she has to crowd source a "I'm sorry, can't make it" one-liner.

There is no hope for the women of the DMV because of the concentration of this.
And I should add that of course the men in this situation are normal as they often are. They're just out golfing and hanging out.

Generally I would agree with you, but if her first time reaching out to OP directly is for a gift-giving event, I have to side eye her.

[Anonymous]

Pick one of the responses already given. She won’t care that you aren’t there. If this is at a venue then you are saving her money by not attending. Remember that. Someone doesn’t have to pay for you to be there.

Thanks for the invite! Sorry to miss it. Best wishes!