Airport/train pickup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spouse and I differ on this.
I’m from England and when I go home ( once a year) I expect to be picked up and dropped off with DD. It’s about a 90 min drive each way.
I do the same when friends or family come here. BWI is easier but if their flight is cheaper out of IAD I’ll drive there. It is what it is.
Spouse is a believer in never putting others out and would do the shuttle if she was your SIL

Why do you expect this? I would feel terrible inconveniencing people like that. So selfish.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine the one car being an issue only when it’s time to go to the airport. How is this not always an issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your SIL physically able to safely drive a car? If so, she should rent a car. If she cannot afford that, you guys can offer to pay.

You could also offer to pay for Uber or cab or shuttle.

Is your DH South Asian or some other first gen? I taught foreign educated students and during orientation we clearly stated to them that "I need to pick up my auntie at the airport" is NOT a reasonable excuse for missing class. Some cultures REALLY emphasize picking people up at the airport.

Often there’s a good practical reason behind it.

In 1992, while I was living in rural Ecuador, my host family expected their aunt to visit. She had lived in Spain for a couple of decades. Her nephews drove to Quito to pick her up, but arrived many hours later than arranged. They couldn’t find her at the airport. She was confirmed to have deplaned and made it through immigration. Several drivers said she got in a taxi to go to a nearby hotel. She was found two weeks later in really bad shape. Robbed and beaten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do it if it’s not an inconvenience but honestly if it’s rush hour or something I tell them to take a cab. I don’t think being considerate requires actually rearranging your leave schedule etc

This. We try to pick people up but sometimes when we are busy, I ask guests to take an uber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a guest .. I’d never inconvenience a family w one car and small children.

This. People need to grow up. SIL needs to pay for the damned shuttle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guest .. I’d never inconvenience a family w one car and small children.

This. People need to grow up. SIL needs to pay for the damned shuttle.

OP has stated that it is easier for SIL to visit them and not for OP and family to visit SIL. SIL already paid for the flight. Both sides are cash strapped. I think it is fine for the DH to pick up his sister. He wants to and he likes having her visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your SIL physically able to safely drive a car? If so, she should rent a car. If she cannot afford that, you guys can offer to pay.

You could also offer to pay for Uber or cab or shuttle.

Is your DH South Asian or some other first gen? I taught foreign educated students and during orientation we clearly stated to them that "I need to pick up my auntie at the airport" is NOT a reasonable excuse for missing class. Some cultures REALLY emphasize picking people up at the airport.

Often there’s a good practical reason behind it.

In 1992, while I was living in rural Ecuador, my host family expected their aunt to visit. She had lived in Spain for a couple of decades. Her nephews drove to Quito to pick her up, but arrived many hours later than arranged. They couldn’t find her at the airport. She was confirmed to have deplaned and made it through immigration. Several drivers said she got in a taxi to go to a nearby hotel. She was found two weeks later in really bad shape. Robbed and beaten.

That’s very sad and scary. Also, unlikely to be an issue in 2025 at IAD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guest .. I’d never inconvenience a family w one car and small children.

This. People need to grow up. SIL needs to pay for the damned shuttle.

OP has stated that it is easier for SIL to visit them and not for OP and family to visit SIL. SIL already paid for the flight. Both sides are cash strapped. I think it is fine for the DH to pick up his sister. He wants to and he likes having her visit.

And more cost effective for DH to pick her up and for the family to use uber for small local trip at that conflicting time.
Especially since OP will pay either way sounds like

[Anonymous]

We would never let vulnerable guests navigate their way alone - elderly, guests with small kids, females travelling alone or with other female, new to country, students etc.

In other words - my family will always pick up and drop guests off. We do not host fit MMA practitioners.

[Anonymous]

“While we can usually move things around to do airport runs for your visits, our car is going to be in the shop on Weds. Would you prefer to rent a car, or just uber/take metro/shuttle?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We would never let vulnerable guests navigate their way alone - elderly, guests with small kids, females travelling alone or with other female, new to country, students etc.

In other words - my family will always pick up and drop guests off. We do not host fit MMA practitioners.

“Females” are vulnerable? I’ve traveled all over the world as a solo “female.” Don’t infantilize us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We drive when it fits in to our schedule. Now that I have to work in my office it's much less (not that I did it on work time but I have much less time)
I do not offer to pick up after a red eye arriving at 5 am for example. I suggest metro during rush hour for able adults. Exception for my 85 year old mother .

Same. We almost always picked up/dropped off guests before kids, but now that is another complicating factor and sometimes it just doesn't work. And most of our guests offer to find their own way anyway- the exception is SIL who was coming with her family and DH's parents- 6 people total- and seemed to think we were going to pick them all up when doing so would have required us both to drive (we have two cars, but they each only seat 5). We live 45 min from the airport, and it was also going to be impossible to shuttle them all around for several days since we also have kids in car seats.. DH kindly suggested that they rent a car and they grudingly obliged. So oblivious.

[Anonymous]

My in laws never check with us before booking their flights - it drives me absolutely crazy! Inevitably they land during rush hour, or high toll rates. It's just unbelievably inconsiderate. We always pick them up, but Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in laws never check with us before booking their flights - it drives me absolutely crazy! Inevitably they land during rush hour, or high toll rates. It's just unbelievably inconsiderate. We always pick them up, but Jesus.

I'd just let them settle at the airport until after rush hour. You can look up what and where the restaurants are so that they don't leave security.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We would never let vulnerable guests navigate their way alone - elderly, guests with small kids, females travelling alone or with other female, new to country, students etc.

In other words - my family will always pick up and drop guests off. We do not host fit MMA practitioners.

LOL, my SIL is a healthy woman in her 30s living in NYC and using public transportation on the daily. She will take the subway and train to get here. The shuttle is not a safety issue whatsoever.