Is it common for people to file for divorce because their spouse lost their job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think women tend to divorce husbands who are duds
Men tend to divorce wives before a large windfall. Inheritance, stock options , a large promotion . It’s very known phenomenon to divorce lawyers - men riding high kn their careers at the expense of wife raising their kids, only to dump her for a newer model when he achieves career prime.

My friends husband approached her with a postnup request after 2 kids together who years marriage . His biotech company was about to go public. She didn’t sign and he divorced her. Now lives with a 20-years younger woman unmarried, they just had a baby

* 10 years marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think women tend to divorce husbands who are duds
Men tend to divorce wives before a large windfall. Inheritance, stock options , a large promotion . It’s very known phenomenon to divorce lawyers - men riding high kn their careers at the expense of wife raising their kids, only to dump her for a newer model when he achieves career prime.

My friends husband approached her with a postnup request after 2 kids together who years marriage . His biotech company was about to go public. She didn’t sign and he divorced her. Now lives with a 20-years younger woman unmarried, they just had a baby

My DH did something similar. He made somewhere around $3M in the year after we settled. He's at a public company so some stuff was in SEC filings. Before he filed he made around $700,000, which was still a fortune but a different universe. I was a SAHM.

It will take me until the day I die to earn what he made the year he filed. He's still single for now and I don't know if he has the energy to find someone to date, but I know he's really happy to have all his money for himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women tend to divorce husbands who are duds
Men tend to divorce wives before a large windfall. Inheritance, stock options , a large promotion . It’s very known phenomenon to divorce lawyers - men riding high kn their careers at the expense of wife raising their kids, only to dump her for a newer model when he achieves career prime.

My friends husband approached her with a postnup request after 2 kids together who years marriage . His biotech company was about to go public. She didn’t sign and he divorced her. Now lives with a 20-years younger woman unmarried, they just had a baby

My DH did something similar. He made somewhere around $3M in the year after we settled. He's at a public company so some stuff was in SEC filings. Before he filed he made around $700,000, which was still a fortune but a different universe. I was a SAHM.

It will take me until the day I die to earn what he made the year he filed. He's still single for now and I don't know if he has the energy to find someone to date, but I know he's really happy to have all his money for himself.

My exH did the same. He’s dating a much younger woman doesn’t plan to remarry. Sold his company for $25m within a year post divorce . I got $4m settlement which was fine but nearly not as much as he should have shared. It cost him relationship with kids they cut him off

I guess it goes both ways dumping partners - the same idea - spouse feels the partner doesn’t “deserve” they can do better keep earning to themselves etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think women tend to divorce husbands who are duds
Men tend to divorce wives before a large windfall. Inheritance, stock options , a large promotion . It’s very known phenomenon to divorce lawyers - men riding high kn their careers at the expense of wife raising their kids, only to dump her for a newer model when he achieves career prime.

My friends husband approached her with a postnup request after 2 kids together who years marriage . His biotech company was about to go public. She didn’t sign and he divorced her. Now lives with a 20-years younger woman unmarried, they just had a baby

But isn't child support and spousal support dynamic . In other words if your pay goes up so do those payments. Do people actually find ways to avoid this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women tend to divorce husbands who are duds
Men tend to divorce wives before a large windfall. Inheritance, stock options , a large promotion . It’s very known phenomenon to divorce lawyers - men riding high kn their careers at the expense of wife raising their kids, only to dump her for a newer model when he achieves career prime.

My friends husband approached her with a postnup request after 2 kids together who years marriage . His biotech company was about to go public. She didn’t sign and he divorced her. Now lives with a 20-years younger woman unmarried, they just had a baby

But isn't child support and spousal support dynamic . In other words if your pay goes up so do those payments. Do people actually find ways to avoid this?

Assets are split 50/50 from the time of filing.

Income is not split. Alimony is often for a very limited amount of time if you get any at all. For example, I am currently in the divorce proceedings. I am a SAHP and have been for 11 years. In my state the standard is that years of alimony will not exceed 33% of the years of marriage if we go to trial, which we probably will if STBX gets his way. Child support in my state also tops out at a certain maximum on state mandated tables, so it is left to judges’ discretion once income exceeds $12k/month. So I will likely get alimony for a maximum of ~3 years and child support for an unknown amount of money. Both child support and alimony adjust with income. However, like many people with massive compensation, a large portion of my STBX’s future comp is going to come from deferred compensation, and he is carefully scrambling to structure it around my alimony timeline, while I’m carefully structuring my settlement demands to capture as much of the deferred compensation as I can to protect DC’s future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it common for people to file for divorce because their spouse lost their job? I am not talking about an unemployed spouse actively trying to find a job. I am talking about an unhappy spouse who is unhappy with the lifestyle change due to loss of income.

Yes, and the woman that leaves tends to be a gold-digger at heart.

Same for a man that leaves a woman who stops working, but that's pretty rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100%. Our neighbor did. She divorced her husband because he lost his job after a long illness and she couldn't cope with the fact that they had to downsize and the "prestige" that came with her former husband's job was gone. DW told me she told her in a very nonchalant way as if it was no big deal. They were married for 12 years and had 2 kids under 10. DW told me the woman with her own mouth said their marriage was great but the fact he was struggling to find a job and that they had less money and could no longer afford the same lifestyle was the reason she divorced her husband.

100% because you know one person? It’s not common for long-married couples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it common for people to file for divorce because their spouse lost their job? I am not talking about an unemployed spouse actively trying to find a job. I am talking about an unhappy spouse who is unhappy with the lifestyle change due to loss of income.

I think it is very common. I filed for divorce when my DH lost his job.
Our marriage had a lot of ups and downs. I tried to make it work since DH was a good provider. We had two kids and a pretty stable family life. However, when he lost his job, our lifestyle changed and I couldn't put up with his bad behavior any longer. I filed for divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it common for people to file for divorce because their spouse lost their job? I am not talking about an unemployed spouse actively trying to find a job. I am talking about an unhappy spouse who is unhappy with the lifestyle change due to loss of income.

I think it is very common. I filed for divorce when my DH lost his job.
Our marriage had a lot of ups and downs. I tried to make it work since DH was a good provider. We had two kids and a pretty stable family life. However, when he lost his job, our lifestyle changed and I couldn't put up with his bad behavior any longer. I filed for divorce.

What happened to your husband?

[Anonymous]

You get better alimony and child support if you divorced before they lose their job, right?

[Anonymous]

Men and women both leave their marriages for a range of reasons. All these posts about how women are always altruistic and amazing wives and mothers in the right and men are always bad intentioned and out to ruin others and are duds are just sexist tropes. Lots of other boards have the reversed with poor amazing men being mistreated and horrible women ruining lives. Both are just sexist tropes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women tend to divorce husbands who are duds
Men tend to divorce wives before a large windfall. Inheritance, stock options , a large promotion . It’s very known phenomenon to divorce lawyers - men riding high kn their careers at the expense of wife raising their kids, only to dump her for a newer model when he achieves career prime.

My friends husband approached her with a postnup request after 2 kids together who years marriage . His biotech company was about to go public. She didn’t sign and he divorced her. Now lives with a 20-years younger woman unmarried, they just had a baby

My DH did something similar. He made somewhere around $3M in the year after we settled. He's at a public company so some stuff was in SEC filings. Before he filed he made around $700,000, which was still a fortune but a different universe. I was a SAHM.

It will take me until the day I die to earn what he made the year he filed. He's still single for now and I don't know if he has the energy to find someone to date, but I know he's really happy to have all his money for himself.

My exH did the same. He’s dating a much younger woman doesn’t plan to remarry. Sold his company for $25m within a year post divorce . I got $4m settlement which was fine but nearly not as much as he should have shared. It cost him relationship with kids they cut him off

I guess it goes both ways dumping partners - the same idea - spouse feels the partner doesn’t “deserve” they can do better keep earning to themselves etc

Why didn’t you get half his interest in the company instead of just $4m?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women tend to divorce husbands who are duds
Men tend to divorce wives before a large windfall. Inheritance, stock options , a large promotion . It’s very known phenomenon to divorce lawyers - men riding high kn their careers at the expense of wife raising their kids, only to dump her for a newer model when he achieves career prime.

My friends husband approached her with a postnup request after 2 kids together who years marriage . His biotech company was about to go public. She didn’t sign and he divorced her. Now lives with a 20-years younger woman unmarried, they just had a baby

My DH did something similar. He made somewhere around $3M in the year after we settled. He's at a public company so some stuff was in SEC filings. Before he filed he made around $700,000, which was still a fortune but a different universe. I was a SAHM.

It will take me until the day I die to earn what he made the year he filed. He's still single for now and I don't know if he has the energy to find someone to date, but I know he's really happy to have all his money for himself.

My exH did the same. He’s dating a much younger woman doesn’t plan to remarry. Sold his company for $25m within a year post divorce . I got $4m settlement which was fine but nearly not as much as he should have shared. It cost him relationship with kids they cut him off

I guess it goes both ways dumping partners - the same idea - spouse feels the partner doesn’t “deserve” they can do better keep earning to themselves etc

Why didn’t you get half his interest in the company instead of just $4m?

NP. As far as I'm aware, asset split is dated from either the legal separation date, the filing date, or in some cases, the date of the final decree. It sounds like this person timed the sale so the company was sold after the decree was signed. I'm guessing that the split value of it before it was sold was minimal until it was valued by a buyer who wanted whatever it was. And in some cases IP is considered individual, not marital, so even if the sale had happened after the separation date but before the decree it arguably could have been considered an individual asset.

Alternate theory: the company as a marital asset was indeed split 50/50, but a valuation was done based on its estimated price on the date of separation or filing, and the company was estimated to be worth only $8M on the date of separation or filing, so PP got half of that.

Still sucks, because it's tough to grow a company to $25M without a ton of hired help and top-notch ability to manage them or a really dedicated spouse doing everything in the background so you can focus on building that $25M company.

[Anonymous]

My BFF’s exH told her flat out when he had moved out and was paying alimony/child support and she had like 90% custody (he would take the kids out to dinner and things but it was very Disney Dad) that it was all so unfair bc he “was still contributing everything that he did before” but she wouldn’t do things like handle his dry-cleaning and pay his bills and take his car to be maintained. When he moved out she was surprised by how much less work there was. The kids were better behaved (bc there was no man-child yelling at them for being kids), the house was cleaner (bc he never did any cleaning but left as much mess as the children), and her day-to-day expenses were literally cut in half, bc he wasted so much money on toys and treats for himself, whereas she and the kids mostly eat at home and live frugally.

He is the one who moved out and she had been sticking it out for a long time bc she didn’t want the kids to lose their lifestyle and she didn’t want them to suffer a broken family. If instead of going to work all day and paying for that lifestyle he was suddenly home and she had to scrabble to make ends meet AND put up with him, she would absolutely have dumped him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think women tend to divorce husbands who are duds
Men tend to divorce wives before a large windfall. Inheritance, stock options , a large promotion . It’s very known phenomenon to divorce lawyers - men riding high kn their careers at the expense of wife raising their kids, only to dump her for a newer model when he achieves career prime.

My friends husband approached her with a postnup request after 2 kids together who years marriage . His biotech company was about to go public. She didn’t sign and he divorced her. Now lives with a 20-years younger woman unmarried, they just had a baby

My DH did something similar. He made somewhere around $3M in the year after we settled. He's at a public company so some stuff was in SEC filings. Before he filed he made around $700,000, which was still a fortune but a different universe. I was a SAHM.

It will take me until the day I die to earn what he made the year he filed. He's still single for now and I don't know if he has the energy to find someone to date, but I know he's really happy to have all his money for himself.

My exH did the same. He’s dating a much younger woman doesn’t plan to remarry. Sold his company for $25m within a year post divorce . I got $4m settlement which was fine but nearly not as much as he should have shared. It cost him relationship with kids they cut him off

I guess it goes both ways dumping partners - the same idea - spouse feels the partner doesn’t “deserve” they can do better keep earning to themselves etc

Why didn’t you get half his interest in the company instead of just $4m?

Because it would cost over $1m in legal
fees and no guarantee of winning . He opened the business offshore during marriage sold it after