Exposing AP?

[Anonymous]

I would not for this reason: Nobody cares. I mean, they may raise their eyebrows and think your DH and his AP are trash for a moment. But then they quickly get back to their own issues: a special needs child, a parent with cancer, a mouse infestation in their basement.

Exposing the affair is not going to give you the social and moral vindication you think it will. Everyone has their own lives that they’re focused on. Your story might temporarily get them thrown under the bus, sure. But then you - and everyone else who knows about it - gets back to their own reality.

I’m so sorry OP. I’d try to focus every bit of effort into protecting myself and my interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you all care about the AP. It’s your spouse who broke your vows. I really don’t get it.

I think it's human nature to hate them both. It's why in many jurisdictions, if you murder the AP after discovering infidelity, your sentence might be reduced to voluntary manslaughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you all care about the AP. It’s your spouse who broke your vows. I really don’t get it.

I think it's human nature to hate them both. It's why in many jurisdictions, if you murder the AP after discovering infidelity, your sentence might be reduced to voluntary manslaughter.

Which jurisdictions?

[Anonymous]

OP, what exactly is the desired outcome see from outing your husband and his AP at work?

Do you think you would be more or less miserable if you did that and it was a workplace nothingburger?

Do you think you would be more or less miserable if your husband was fired or resigned and got a lower paying job thus reducing your benjamins?

[Anonymous]

OP just sue the AP. You may just win.

https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/pop-culture-news/tiktok-influencer-ordered-pay-175m-seducing-manager-leading-end-marria-rcna243473

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As soon as I learned of my husband's workplace affair, I texted then called the AP's husband. He absolutely deserved to know of his wife's adultery and get tested for STD's. My husband and I went to their wedding several years ago, it was the least I could do.

I've also selectively told some of his co-workers. I'm sure he's posing it as a brand new relationship instead of the 6 year long, f**king in their office adulterous debauchery that it is.

I'm confused. Do you have an STD that you gave to your husband? If not, why are STDs even a concern?

Maybe don't be all altruistic when describing your motivation and just own that you went scorched Earth. This "exposure to STDs" thing is a bad fig leave. If you're not infected, he's not infected. And if he's not infected, how could he infect the AP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP just sue the AP. You may just win.

https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/pop-culture-news/tiktok-influencer-ordered-pay-175m-seducing-manager-leading-end-marria-rcna243473

I kind of love this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my career, I've seen/heard about 3 male execs fired for affairs with subordinates.

If the person is annoying or underperforming in any way it's a super easy reason to fire someone.

Yeah except it doesn't happen like that in the real world just DCUM fantasy land

Not fake. FAFO. One was reported by the mistress. Her VP guy was being relocated to another continent with his family and they had a fight about him moving. She decided to rat him out as revenge. It worked. He also violated company expense account requirements. Not sure exactly what had the greatest weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After it was all over and known about he dumped the AP (after dumping me, of course) and she told a mutual friend she was considering writing me a letter.
I told the mutual friend if I got a letter I'd find her, grab her by the hair and smash her face into my knee.
I never got the goddamn letter.

No guts to do that to your husband? Or were you an abusive witch all along? You deserved to be dumped

Who says she didn’t ??? lol. Mine had a black eye. Never have I touched another soul prior.

Well your husband is a dummy. A smart guy would make sure the domestic violence went on the record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP just sue the AP. You may just win.

https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/pop-culture-news/tiktok-influencer-ordered-pay-175m-seducing-manager-leading-end-marria-rcna243473

I kind of love this.

Awesome. I hope more people file for this. Affairs cause real damage to marriage and families, and divorce causes huge financial damage. Sue the AP!
Google says: The seven states with alienation of affection laws are Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah. These laws allow a spouse to sue a third party for deliberately causing the loss of affection in their marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As soon as I learned of my husband's workplace affair, I texted then called the AP's husband. He absolutely deserved to know of his wife's adultery and get tested for STD's. My husband and I went to their wedding several years ago, it was the least I could do.

I've also selectively told some of his co-workers. I'm sure he's posing it as a brand new relationship instead of the 6 year long, f**king in their office adulterous debauchery that it is.

I'm confused. Do you have an STD that you gave to your husband? If not, why are STDs even a concern?

Maybe don't be all altruistic when describing your motivation and just own that you went scorched Earth. This "exposure to STDs" thing is a bad fig leave. If you're not infected, he's not infected. And if he's not infected, how could he infect the AP?

So naive. Cheaters often have multiple hookups. The AP ain't special.
A few months after my cheating ex left, I got a medical bill from our insurance for Herpes medication. I don't have Herpes and luckily didn't catch it from him, so either AP gave it to him, or one of his other Tinder hookups did, so yeah AP's husband is entitled to know this.

[Anonymous]

If you mean this person works with your DH, everyone there already knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As soon as I learned of my husband's workplace affair, I texted then called the AP's husband. He absolutely deserved to know of his wife's adultery and get tested for STD's. My husband and I went to their wedding several years ago, it was the least I could do.

I've also selectively told some of his co-workers. I'm sure he's posing it as a brand new relationship instead of the 6 year long, f**king in their office adulterous debauchery that it is.

I'm confused. Do you have an STD that you gave to your husband? If not, why are STDs even a concern?

Maybe don't be all altruistic when describing your motivation and just own that you went scorched Earth. This "exposure to STDs" thing is a bad fig leave. If you're not infected, he's not infected. And if he's not infected, how could he infect the AP?

So naive. Cheaters often have multiple hookups. The AP ain't special.
A few months after my cheating ex left, I got a medical bill from our insurance for Herpes medication. I don't have Herpes and luckily didn't catch it from him, so either AP gave it to him, or one of his other Tinder hookups did, so yeah AP's husband is entitled to know this.

I don’t think this is actually true. I feel like people who cheat and people who are having an affair are two different categories. Both wrong obviously but I hear affair and I think it’s one person, I hear cheating and it’s possibly multiple people. Like if you found your husband on tinder-yes there is reason for STD concern since it was probably multiple random hookups. If your husband was having an affair with a co-worker than yes-still cheating but unlikely to be with anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you mean this person works with your DH, everyone there already knows.

And even if they don't, they're some of the people least likely to care beyone maybe gossiping about it a bit at happy hour. I don't give a whit about the messy lives of my coworkers. As a PP said, people register, may have slight judgement, and quickly go back to their own life concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you all care about the AP. It’s your spouse who broke your vows. I really don’t get it.

I think it's human nature to hate them both. It's why in many jurisdictions, if you murder the AP after discovering infidelity, your sentence might be reduced to voluntary manslaughter.

Which jurisdictions?

Didn’t that woman dentist in Texas get out of jail after running over her cheating husband with her Mecerdes while the AP looked on?