Hosted a playdate. Kid repeatedly asked dd to open one of her new bday gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the kid doesn’t have impulse control and may be adhd.

Or maybe just doesn't get told no enough and is a brat who is constantly spoiled if they nag often enough.

[Anonymous]

Certain kids demand all kinds of things. Some kids are obnoxious. Even as kids. Or do things you don't like. You/your daughter decide who you are going to put up with. No reason to seek a unilateral agreement on what's rude, and how rude.

[Anonymous]

So if the kid was hungry why didn't kid ask for more of what was on offer. Kid was rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the kid doesn’t have impulse control and may be adhd.

Or OP and her kid are mean and enjoy leaving out brand new in box toys and then refusing to let their guests play with them despite the guest asking over and over. Oh, and shaming the guest for wanting more food.

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed if a kid repeatedly asked for something. My kids know “asked and answered.” I’m guessing that girls parents frequently give in if she persists, so she knows she just has to keep going. Intermittent reinforcement works for lab rats and motivated children

I would sweetly teach her that in our house once you asked and I’ve answered I’m not changing my mind. I would also put away the box so it wasn’t tempting her and I would be fine giving chips if I had them even if hadn’t really planned on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds normal to me. After she asked once I would have put the gift away. Kids might be uncomfortable with new foods.

I am getting so tired of the responses justifying all children’s bad behavior. So they ate four snacks but “might be uncomfortable with new foods”? Uh, ok.

I think it's over the top to say that a kid asking if they can have chips or a cookie is rude. You are well within your rights to say "no, we're having apple slices for snack" but the kid wanting a cookie just makes them a kid who has been given a cookie at a previous playdate and had high hopes. (Or, worst case scenario, the kid was legitimately hungry and is being demonized for being excited about having access to what seemed like unlimited food, but I would hope that OP would be at least somewhat sensitive to that dynamic.)

OP, leaving out a new toy in a box during a playdate and saying that it cannot be played with is a poor choice. If you don't want to play with it, you put it away before guests come over.

Asking for cookies as a fifth snack is rude, no matter how much you try to spin it.
It’s OK to say birthday gifts are off limits.
Again, you “gentle parents” are raising brats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be annoyed if a kid repeatedly asked for something. My kids know “asked and answered.” I’m guessing that girls parents frequently give in if she persists, so she knows she just has to keep going. Intermittent reinforcement works for lab rats and motivated children

I would sweetly teach her that in our house once you asked and I’ve answered I’m not changing my mind. I would also put away the box so it wasn’t tempting her and I would be fine giving chips if I had them even if hadn’t really planned on it.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds normal to me. After she asked once I would have put the gift away. Kids might be uncomfortable with new foods.

I am getting so tired of the responses justifying all children’s bad behavior. So they ate four snacks but “might be uncomfortable with new foods”? Uh, ok.

I think it's over the top to say that a kid asking if they can have chips or a cookie is rude. You are well within your rights to say "no, we're having apple slices for snack" but the kid wanting a cookie just makes them a kid who has been given a cookie at a previous playdate and had high hopes. (Or, worst case scenario, the kid was legitimately hungry and is being demonized for being excited about having access to what seemed like unlimited food, but I would hope that OP would be at least somewhat sensitive to that dynamic.)

OP, leaving out a new toy in a box during a playdate and saying that it cannot be played with is a poor choice. If you don't want to play with it, you put it away before guests come over.

Asking for cookies as a fifth snack is rude, no matter how much you try to spin it.
It’s OK to say birthday gifts are off limits.
Again, you “gentle parents” are raising brats.

It truly is not okay to say that the toy you have on display during a playdate is off limits. It's very socially inept, in fact. OP and her daughter could be forgiven for not realizing they'd made that mistake, but by not putting it out of sight after the first request OP demonstrated that, like an upthread PP said, she's not very good at managing children.

Sounds like the kid was asking for cookies as a second snack and kept getting redirected to carrot sticks or whatever instead of just being told "no", which is OP's crappy attempt at . . . gentle parenting!

[Anonymous]

Op here. Kid is ten. Does that make a difference? A girl.

The kids came over after we were all out together so no one had a chance to tidy toys but it was in a clearly not out for play area of the house. It was no immediately put away because a. We were occupied with another game the first ask and b. The kids were getting picked up.

It was not a mealtime and they had all had donuts out immediately PRIOR to the playdate. Ofc I said no, and redirected from the cookie ask with other snacks initially after the first 4 kinds were offered. Then I straight up said no more snacks.

But honestly I cannot believe all of you want to justify kids being this poorly behaved. At 10. Mainly was curious if anyone would tag this as poor impulse control and/or spoiled at home and gets her way when asking multiple times. I expected some who thght this was fine behavior but wow, a lot of you are raising little sh*ts. 😆😆 And flame away because I don't feel badly about how I "managed" this playdate. 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the kid doesn’t have impulse control and may be adhd.

Or maybe just doesn't get told no enough and is a brat who is constantly spoiled if they nag often enough.

Or maybe just identified OP as a huge push over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Kid is ten. Does that make a difference? A girl.

The kids came over after we were all out together so no one had a chance to tidy toys but it was in a clearly not out for play area of the house. It was no immediately put away because a. We were occupied with another game the first ask and b. The kids were getting picked up.

It was not a mealtime and they had all had donuts out immediately PRIOR to the playdate. Ofc I said no, and redirected from the cookie ask with other snacks initially after the first 4 kinds were offered. Then I straight up said no more snacks.

But honestly I cannot believe all of you want to justify kids being this poorly behaved. At 10. Mainly was curious if anyone would tag this as poor impulse control and/or spoiled at home and gets her way when asking multiple times. I expected some who thght this was fine behavior but wow, a lot of you are raising little sh*ts. 😆😆 And flame away because I don't feel badly about how I "managed" this playdate. 😂

WTF are you playing with 2 ten year old girls? How weird. Let them play without you hovering like they are 4.

[Anonymous]

Omg y'all are so nuts. They took out a game that required 4 players into the living room and ASKED ME TO PLAY.

You know what. Forget it. Y'all are seriously nuts on here. I thght I'd get some interesting commentary on ADHD diagnosis. Or how spoiled the child was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can always tell the kids that have permissive parents--very little is off limits.

Actually OP sounds permissive.

“No, no more snacks, sorry!”

“Larla doesn’t want to open this so I’m going to put it away.”

See, not hard!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not rude. Why didn’t your kid open it? Might have made for a fun activity.

Because it’s her gift and she can choose when and where to open it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Kid is ten. Does that make a difference? A girl.

The kids came over after we were all out together so no one had a chance to tidy toys but it was in a clearly not out for play area of the house. It was no immediately put away because a. We were occupied with another game the first ask and b. The kids were getting picked up.

It was not a mealtime and they had all had donuts out immediately PRIOR to the playdate. Ofc I said no, and redirected from the cookie ask with other snacks initially after the first 4 kinds were offered. Then I straight up said no more snacks.

But honestly I cannot believe all of you want to justify kids being this poorly behaved. At 10. Mainly was curious if anyone would tag this as poor impulse control and/or spoiled at home and gets her way when asking multiple times. I expected some who thght this was fine behavior but wow, a lot of you are raising little sh*ts. 😆😆 And flame away because I don't feel badly about how I "managed" this playdate. 😂

You sound pretty horrible OP. Geez.