Need advice. Teen is upset his girlfriend (both are 17) posts on social media, hanging on other boys.

[Anonymous]

He should break up with her. She clearly doesn't care that shes hurting him. He set s boundary and she can't comply so he needs to break up with her. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him break up with him and send him back to the gym.
He should take a break from dating and pick better next time. He is scary.

No, he isn't. Boys can have standards and set boundaries too.

Op here thanks for chiming in. Ds definitely isn’t scary. But I agree, gf is allowed her autonomy but my ds doesn’t have to continue dating her if it makes him uncomfortable. Fwiw his older sibling had a long term relationship in high school and they both were extremely careful and respectful of each other when it came to situations like this. Ds probably saw this as a model, and was similarly respectful and assumed the same from his girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

My DC is in college now, but had quite a few dramatic high school relationships. And jealousy was a common denominator - sometimes on his side, sometimes on the other.

I tried to explain to him that dating at this age is really learning about yourself. Relationships are new, everyone is inexperienced, and emotions are high.
You're going to make mistakes, your boyfriend/girlfriend is going to make mistakes, your job is to learn about yourself and what you like/dislike in a partner/relationship going forward. But overall, relationships at this stage should be value-add, making you happier, having new experiences, and becoming a better version of yourself. If not, it's time to end things.

In this situation, I would tell my son to trust his instinct that his feelings are justified, and help him find a way to end it amicably. Learning how to break up is a good life skill. Theres a book called "Necessary Endings" but there's lots of other books for men about breakups.

[Anonymous]

He can break up with her for any reason he wants, including bad reasons due to him blowing things out of proportion. They are not a good match and they are kids. Frankly he should hold off on any more dating until he matures. Tell him to focus on college apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can break up with her for any reason he wants, including bad reasons due to him blowing things out of proportion. They are not a good match and they are kids. Frankly he should hold off on any more dating until he matures. Tell him to focus on college apps.

I love how you dubbed him the immature one here, yet you know nothing about the maturity of his gf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let him know he doesn’t own her. Let him know you don’t think the photos are bad. Let him know if you think he’s too sensitive. And let him know he has the option to break up. It’s pretty simple.

As the mom of a girl whose boyfriend wants to act like he owns her, I wish his mom would see this stuff and tell him these things.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC is in college now, but had quite a few dramatic high school relationships. And jealousy was a common denominator - sometimes on his side, sometimes on the other.

I tried to explain to him that dating at this age is really learning about yourself. Relationships are new, everyone is inexperienced, and emotions are high.
You're going to make mistakes, your boyfriend/girlfriend is going to make mistakes, your job is to learn about yourself and what you like/dislike in a partner/relationship going forward. But overall, relationships at this stage should be value-add, making you happier, having new experiences, and becoming a better version of yourself. If not, it's time to end things.

In this situation, I would tell my son to trust his instinct that his feelings are justified, and help him find a way to end it amicably. Learning how to break up is a good life skill. Theres a book called "Necessary Endings" but there's lots of other books for men about breakups.

Hell no this is ridiculous.

Your son does not own get OP !

You raised a controlling twat set him straight right now!

This is in your kid not the GF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He can break up with her for any reason he wants, including bad reasons due to him blowing things out of proportion. They are not a good match and they are kids. Frankly he should hold off on any more dating until he matures. Tell him to focus on college apps.

I love how you dubbed him the immature one here, yet you know nothing about the maturity of his gf.

It doesn’t matter

He is being controlling he has zero right to tell anyone much less his gf who to hang with or post pictures with!

He can break up with her but he doesn’t own her.

OP raised an entitled POS who thinks he gets to tell women what they can and can not do. Nope he does not get to do that and I hope the GF parents tell her to drop him asap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He can break up with her for any reason he wants, including bad reasons due to him blowing things out of proportion. They are not a good match and they are kids. Frankly he should hold off on any more dating until he matures. Tell him to focus on college apps.

I love how you dubbed him the immature one here, yet you know nothing about the maturity of his gf.

It doesn’t matter

He is being controlling he has zero right to tell anyone much less his gf who to hang with or post pictures with!

He can break up with her but he doesn’t own her.

OP raised an entitled POS who thinks he gets to tell women what they can and can not do. Nope he does not get to do that and I hope the GF parents tell her to drop him asap

You sound like a misandrist and a skank

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him break up with him and send him back to the gym.
He should take a break from dating and pick better next time. He is scary.

No, he isn't. Boys can have standards and set boundaries too.

Op here thanks for chiming in. Ds definitely isn’t scary. But I agree, gf is allowed her autonomy but my ds doesn’t have to continue dating her if it makes him uncomfortable. Fwiw his older sibling had a long term relationship in high school and they both were extremely careful and respectful of each other when it came to situations like this. Ds probably saw this as a model, and was similarly respectful and assumed the same from his girlfriend.

No no no no no

Extremely careful ??

You are teaching your boys to be controlling shits

Stop it.

Your older one wasn’t a role model .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He can break up with her for any reason he wants, including bad reasons due to him blowing things out of proportion. They are not a good match and they are kids. Frankly he should hold off on any more dating until he matures. Tell him to focus on college apps.

I love how you dubbed him the immature one here, yet you know nothing about the maturity of his gf.

It doesn’t matter

He is being controlling he has zero right to tell anyone much less his gf who to hang with or post pictures with!

He can break up with her but he doesn’t own her.

OP raised an entitled POS who thinks he gets to tell women what they can and can not do. Nope he does not get to do that and I hope the GF parents tell her to drop him asap

You sound like a misandrist and a skank

No OPs kid is a pos he wants to control who his GF can and can not see. No woman needs that crap in her life.

Her son has zero right to tell another human who they can hang with. He can break up with her that is his choice just like she can have friends that are male.

OP is the problem she raised boys to think they own their partner they do not.

[Anonymous]

He needs to work on his insecurity issues - that's what jealousy is. She deserves someone better than who he is right now.

[Anonymous]

He told her his boundary, and she has crossed it. Now it is up to him to decide if their social styles are compatible or not. He can feel hurt, but he shouldn’t feel angry, because she wants to do things one way and he wants to do things a different way. That’s not a cause for anger, that’s just a difference. But he does need to decide whether to stay in a relationship and except that’s how she’s going to behave, or end the relationship and find someone whose style is more compatible with him. But he does not get to do is be angry at her, berate her, and try to force her to change. He’s already expressed how he feels as she has through her actions shown how she feels.

If the genders were reversed, and it was some guy posting photos with his arms around other girls, with whom he has a sexual history, the girl wouldn’t like it. If both people in the couple were on the same wavelength about flirting and being physically close to other people, then it wouldn’t be an issue.

You sound like a good mom, and I like the fact that he waited to talk to his girlfriend until he was feeling less upset and went to the gym to work out his feelings. That seems like a healthy, self caring thing to do.

Let us know what happens!

[Anonymous]

First, he’s not ready for a relationship. He needs to break up with her.
Second, this is a great starting point to have many conversations about healthy relationships, in the event he wants to try again in future.

[Anonymous]

I would say, it's a high school relationship, it's not that serious. Hormones are real, but encourage him to keep dating light.

Agree- he does not own her and they are both giving in to unnecessary drama.

He feels hurt by her so he should break up with her.