Worried about H because of his imminent heart attack -- he keeps telling me that I am the problem

[Anonymous]

You appear panicked he will die and hurt you financially. Doesn't he have life insurance? Get him to agree to getting some and drop the rope. Then he can die and you get the benjamins that seem to be your main concern.
Or, be sure you are joint on all the assets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are modeling so much toxic behavior to your daughter

OP here. Why, because I am trying to take care of her father?

Yes!

Maybe someday when you see your daughter chasing after a man who tells her to go away, maybe you’ll understand. Or maybe you’re in so dee p that you’ll tell your daughter the guy is lucky to have her…

Time will tell

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don't agree with other posters. I think what you are doing makes sense. Nobody should be indifferent to the potential early death of her child's father.

I'd communicate briefly and by text if the conversations are bad. It's great that you found a doctor for him. Kind of you. He's obviously got problems so don't let his stupidity get to you. He's screwing up on many levels. You can't fix that but you can offer some help and you did.

There's a vast spectrum between being indifferent to the early death of your baby daddy and full blown codependency

[Anonymous]

Why on Earth did he need to go to the ER last night? You need to back wayyyy off. Your reaction to not being able to reach him was frankly irrational and insane. You are toxic and a terrible example for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this the poster whose husband was trying to date the tutor?

Yup. And started multiple threads in multiple forums about it. TROLL

[Anonymous]

OP, let him die and collect the insurance.

[Anonymous]

Op, I can absolutely see how you could be the problem. The man can't even take a nap without his exwife calling his neighbors and sending them INTO HIS HOUSE. That level of crazy ex is stressful and angering. I'm sure the poor neighbors think the same.

If he has money, I assume he is successful in a career and therefore not an incompetent child. Leave the man alone.

[Anonymous]

Op I am sorry you are getting such negative feedback. I think you are trying to be helpful for a man who has depended on you for decades and apparently can’t really take care of himself. I do think you need to find a new balance and try it emotionally disengage a little. Could you buy him an Apple Watch? There is a safety setting where if he has a heart attack or collapses, it will automatically call 911.
Your daughter will be impacted if he dies, even if she is distanced from him now, so I think it’s understandable what you are doing but you need to find a different balance here.

[Anonymous]

You need therapy. You cannot harass your neighbors to go check on him every time you can't get a hold of him. That's truly insane behavior. You need to learn to get your anxiety under control and to learn some boundaries. You also need to stop involving your daughter in this drama. It's disturbing how much you've involved her between this and the tutor situation.

For your daughter's sake, and for the sake of her future and knowing what healthy relationships look like and what healthy self worth looks like, get therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he not have life insurance?

OP here. Sadly, no. His term life insurance ended a few years ago, and a new one would have been very expensive.

Most workplace offer a year salary worth of life insurance. You need to focus on DD and finding a PT or FT job.

[Anonymous]

This is crazy, OP. My kids dad is a man baby and we divorced over affairs and other betrayals. He also lost his job 6 months ago and money is very problematic right now.....but my kids don't know any of that. I cannot imagine unloading my adult issues on my sweet kids. Thats looney tunes.

[Anonymous]

Troll post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll post

I don't think so. I think OP is just mentally unwell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, is DH a dancer or part of the overall dance community?

What the hell is the “overall dance community?”

[Anonymous]

Take out a life insurance policy on him. Financial problems solved. Leave him alone.

And for gods sake, get some self esteem.