Hot take: is menopause so bad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I don’t have hot flashes, I’m sleeping mostly ok thanks to magnesium and THC, and I still look ok thanks to skincare. But I’m 49 and it makes my ADHD 1000x worse and I’m so depressed sometimes I get suicidal which I haven’t experienced in 20+ years.

You will have them; it is too early for you to have them. Don't be smug; it is a bad look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Hear me out please. I get night sweats. I get hot flashes during the day. I can’t sleep though the night. I have facial hair. I have belly fat. I weigh about 10 lbs more lbs more than in my 20s. My hair is naturally grey. I have wrinkles.

Is this really all that bad? Can’t it be a normal part of aging?

I mean. I pluck my facial hair. I run to combat too much weight gain. I get facials. I dye my hair.

But I don’t feel devastated that I’m experiencing symptoms of older age because, well, that’s just life.

When I get night sweats I kick off my blankets. Is that really too much of an inconvenience? I mean when I had babies and they woke me up every 2 hours that was much much worse.

I just don’t really understand all the complaining about menopause?

For me? Yes. The hot flashes were debilitating. And the sleep disturbances had me literally sleep deprived which is dangerous and awful. Perhaps you could assume that "all the complaining about menopause" is coming from people who are having a more difficult experience than you are, and move on with your life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I really think it's external pressures that make it so hard. If we could all go be swamp witches we would all be very happy.

I want to do this SO BADLY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Hear me out please. I get night sweats. I get hot flashes during the day. I can’t sleep though the night. I have facial hair. I have belly fat. I weigh about 10 lbs more lbs more than in my 20s. My hair is naturally grey. I have wrinkles.

Is this really all that bad? Can’t it be a normal part of aging?

I mean. I pluck my facial hair. I run to combat too much weight gain. I get facials. I dye my hair.

But I don’t feel devastated that I’m experiencing symptoms of older age because, well, that’s just life.

When I get night sweats I kick off my blankets. Is that really too much of an inconvenience? I mean when I had babies and they woke me up every 2 hours that was much much worse.

I just don’t really understand all the complaining about menopause?

For me? Yes. The hot flashes were debilitating. And the sleep disturbances had me literally sleep deprived which is dangerous and awful. Perhaps you could assume that "all the complaining about menopause" is coming from people who are having a more difficult experience than you are, and move on with your life?

I could have written this. 10 years of hot flashes!

[Anonymous]

I only get some mild hot flashes a few days before my period. That's when I know it's imminent. Maybe they'll get worse, but women can have various symptoms. Insomnia, brain fog, and weight gain are my big issues. I'm not sure my symptoms are bad enough for HRT, but the brain fog and lack of motivation are becoming difficult so thinking about it. 55

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only get some mild hot flashes a few days before my period. That's when I know it's imminent. Maybe they'll get worse, but women can have various symptoms. Insomnia, brain fog, and weight gain are my big issues. I'm not sure my symptoms are bad enough for HRT, but the brain fog and lack of motivation are becoming difficult so thinking about it. 55

^^also when I drink alcohol, so I quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Hear me out please. I get night sweats. I get hot flashes during the day. I can’t sleep though the night. I have facial hair. I have belly fat. I weigh about 10 lbs more lbs more than in my 20s. My hair is naturally grey. I have wrinkles.

Is this really all that bad? Can’t it be a normal part of aging?

I mean. I pluck my facial hair. I run to combat too much weight gain. I get facials. I dye my hair.

But I don’t feel devastated that I’m experiencing symptoms of older age because, well, that’s just life.

When I get night sweats I kick off my blankets. Is that really too much of an inconvenience? I mean when I had babies and they woke me up every 2 hours that was much much worse.

I just don’t really understand all the complaining about menopause?

For me? Yes. The hot flashes were debilitating. And the sleep disturbances had me literally sleep deprived which is dangerous and awful. Perhaps you could assume that "all the complaining about menopause" is coming from people who are having a more difficult experience than you are, and move on with your life?

+1. I don't understand how you get to be this old and not know that women experience hormonal/reproductive changes in different ways? I honestly prefer menopause to having a period, which were so heavy and painful, but totally understand how that might not be every woman's experience.

[Anonymous]

I like to remember that getting old is better than the alternative.

I am 51, periods are slowing down, get hot flashes in the evenings pretty regularly, on a dab of vaginal estrogen 2x/week (love that stuff), watching my neck skin sag and my jowls form--but I am fortunate that my body is strong and lean. I love to exercise and have really ramped up since DD left for college and I am an empty-nester. How fortunate most of us are to have a warm, safe home, fresh food, saving in the bank, and medical care around the corner! I have value to add to the world, regardless of how my face looks

[Anonymous]

I have mixed feelings about this. Women shouldn’t be forced to suffer bc it’s normal. But the social expectation that women stay young and hot forever is harmful too—and it’s also reinforced by a lot of the same HRT/med spa marketing forces that are aimed at alleviating real suffering.

In my ideal world, we would make medicine available to women to alleviate their suffering but also accept that, if you’re lucky, you become an old crone.

[Anonymous]

Panic attacks leading to no sleep leading to feeling like I was losing my mind. So yeah, perimenopause can be bad for some, OP.

[Anonymous]

From what I understand, menopause is not so bad, it’s perimenopause that really can kill you. It’s not the same for everyone, but how it is explained to me is that your brain does not understand what is going on and it’s fighting your body to produce more hormone and produce those eggs. For some women, it can be really debilitating - that transition.

I have heard from many women that things calm down once they’re in menopause, because the body stops fighting. But the transition can be hard because the hormone spikes can be unpredictable. If you look at hormones during other periods of your life, it is much more cyclical. Then of course pregnancy and things can be really disruptive. So women are I think built to deal with disruptions. But perimenopause comes at a time in many women’s lives when disruptions are not ideal.

It was one thing to be in my early 30s and pregnant twice. It’s quite another to be almost 50, dealing with two teen daughters, a marriage that’s to decades along and take some compromise, being pretty advanced in my career and wanting to hold on for 10 more years before I retire. Dealing with paying for college, looming retirement, and dealing with aging parents.

It’s a lot, and if there is something safe and effective, that can make the transition easier, why shouldn’t women have it? Doesn’t mean that every woman would need it or every woman should take it but the fact that it’s not been studied more and there’s not more that has been done to help women through this transition until now, when a bunch of Gen X women are demanding it, is kind of crazy to me.

Add that to the fact that there are over a dozen medications on the market that are very accessible that help men with erections. And erectile dysfunction is a totally normal part of aging. Men’s sperm declines, and it around age 40 the blood vessels really change and slow blood flow to that part of the body. Nature is taking its course. Nature knows that men shouldn’t be reproducing and won’t be reproducing as much after that age and takes cares of things for them. But men don’t want that and so science has come to the rescue. But women have a few complaints and it’s just that they’re getting old.

And other parts of aging, we don’t really stand for either. Cataracts are completely normal. Up until 60 years or so ago, people would often go blind from them because it wasn’t worth the risk of surgery. But technology and advancements have made it so that it’s very easily and accessible and 50% of Americans will get cataract surgery if they live to the age of 80.

I could go on with other natural parts of aging that we don’t stand for. I don’t think women are clamoring to their doctor because they don’t like the way they look. It’s mainly because their bodies are in turmoil and they’re seeking some relief. It’s amazing to me that that is so controversial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I don’t have hot flashes, I’m sleeping mostly ok thanks to magnesium and THC, and I still look ok thanks to skincare. But I’m 49 and it makes my ADHD 1000x worse and I’m so depressed sometimes I get suicidal which I haven’t experienced in 20+ years.

You will have them; it is too early for you to have them. Don't be smug; it is a bad look.

Lady did you not read the part where I want to die? Jesus. My mother didn’t have hot flashes and my 54 year old sister didn’t either. We don’t all. I’d take them over suicidal ideation any day. Whose smug now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From what I understand, menopause is not so bad, it’s perimenopause that really can kill you. It’s not the same for everyone, but how it is explained to me is that your brain does not understand what is going on and it’s fighting your body to produce more hormone and produce those eggs. For some women, it can be really debilitating - that transition.

I have heard from many women that things calm down once they’re in menopause, because the body stops fighting. But the transition can be hard because the hormone spikes can be unpredictable. If you look at hormones during other periods of your life, it is much more cyclical. Then of course pregnancy and things can be really disruptive. So women are I think built to deal with disruptions. But perimenopause comes at a time in many women’s lives when disruptions are not ideal.

It was one thing to be in my early 30s and pregnant twice. It’s quite another to be almost 50, dealing with two teen daughters, a marriage that’s to decades along and take some compromise, being pretty advanced in my career and wanting to hold on for 10 more years before I retire. Dealing with paying for college, looming retirement, and dealing with aging parents.

It’s a lot, and if there is something safe and effective, that can make the transition easier, why shouldn’t women have it? Doesn’t mean that every woman would need it or every woman should take it but the fact that it’s not been studied more and there’s not more that has been done to help women through this transition until now, when a bunch of Gen X women are demanding it, is kind of crazy to me.

Add that to the fact that there are over a dozen medications on the market that are very accessible that help men with erections. And erectile dysfunction is a totally normal part of aging. Men’s sperm declines, and it around age 40 the blood vessels really change and slow blood flow to that part of the body. Nature is taking its course. Nature knows that men shouldn’t be reproducing and won’t be reproducing as much after that age and takes cares of things for them. But men don’t want that and so science has come to the rescue. But women have a few complaints and it’s just that they’re getting old.

And other parts of aging, we don’t really stand for either. Cataracts are completely normal. Up until 60 years or so ago, people would often go blind from them because it wasn’t worth the risk of surgery. But technology and advancements have made it so that it’s very easily and accessible and 50% of Americans will get cataract surgery if they live to the age of 80.

I could go on with other natural parts of aging that we don’t stand for. I don’t think women are clamoring to their doctor because they don’t like the way they look. It’s mainly because their bodies are in turmoil and they’re seeking some relief. It’s amazing to me that that is so controversial.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Hear me out please. I get night sweats. I get hot flashes during the day. I can’t sleep though the night. I have facial hair. I have belly fat. I weigh about 10 lbs more lbs more than in my 20s. My hair is naturally grey. I have wrinkles.

Is this really all that bad? Can’t it be a normal part of aging?

I mean. I pluck my facial hair. I run to combat too much weight gain. I get facials. I dye my hair.

But I don’t feel devastated that I’m experiencing symptoms of older age because, well, that’s just life.

When I get night sweats I kick off my blankets. Is that really too much of an inconvenience? I mean when I had babies and they woke me up every 2 hours that was much much worse.

I just don’t really understand all the complaining about menopause?

Good for you. The rest of us don't want this shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have mixed feelings about this. Women shouldn’t be forced to suffer bc it’s normal. But the social expectation that women stay young and hot forever is harmful too—and it’s also reinforced by a lot of the same HRT/med spa marketing forces that are aimed at alleviating real suffering.

In my ideal world, we would make medicine available to women to alleviate their suffering but also accept that, if you’re lucky, you become an old crone.

I resent your conflation of HRT and medspas. I take HRT. I have never had a procedure, an infejection, or anything associated with a medspa. I’ve read abstracts on pubmed and articles and the occasional study as a civilian. I’m not doing anything to fake my age, and I think your kind of post, and OPs, are also harmful. I support anyone who has life-limiting symptoms to talk to a sane and qualified physician.