Do you judge parents of overweight kids?

[Anonymous]

I learned pretty early on that you have no idea what is going on in other families and judging gets you nothing. Unless you enjoy that feeling of smugness for its own sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found that kids who are picky eaters gain too much weight as they enter adolescence. My theory is that parents were desperate for the kids to eat something (anything!) when the kids were young, and the kids, now that they’re older, still take full advantage of that.

My sample size is small, and I’m lucky that my kids were not picky eaters.

My kid is not in puberty yet, an incredibly picky eater, and currently very thin. The pediatrician is concerned about her weight, so we've changed our approach to her eating in the last 6 months specifically to ensure more calories and higher percentages of fat in her diet. And yes, I do wonder if this will backfire later, largely because of the sugar content in what she eats -- we sweeten things we need her to eat to make them more palatable and to ensure she finishes them. An example would be putting chocolate syrup in her milk (1-2 cups of whole milk daily us part of her current diet plan) so that she drinks the whole cup I stead of taking three sips and then saying she's full.

But of course, if you've never had to worry about your kid getting enough calories to grow, sleep well, or pay attention in school, it would be easy to judge when you see my kid eating a diet high in sugar with more processed foods than you let your kids eat.

If it leads to her being overweight or struggling with controlling how much "junk" she eats later, I will be sad about that. But what was I supposed to do? Continue to serve her plates of fish and chicken with veggies that she'd barely touch? Let her go to bed every night hungry? Say no to the ONLY foods she actually enjoys eating? That doesn't make sense either.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I judge them.

Our children were garbage disposals when it came to food. They ate everything. Sugar was a staple. Brownies, cookies, donuts, cinnamon rolls, they did not discriminate.

The difference is that we directed them into situations that kept them very active. They were thin and healthy children and now they’re physically fit adults.

It’s possible to burn a lot of calories as a child.

[Anonymous]

As a former morbidly obese child (since age 4) I do judge the parents, especially if even one of them is obese. Mom made me her eating buddy and fed me same portions as she ate. I didn't know better.

[Anonymous]

No. But I also don't see being overweight as a moral failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I judge them.

Our children were garbage disposals when it came to food. They ate everything. Sugar was a staple. Brownies, cookies, donuts, cinnamon rolls, they did not discriminate.

The difference is that we directed them into situations that kept them very active. They were thin and healthy children and now they’re physically fit adults.

It’s possible to burn a lot of calories as a child.

It’s not about just the calories! There’s no nutrition in sugar

[Anonymous]

My close friend and her husband are gym rats and are so incredibly fit. All 3 of her children are very very overweight. I wonder what goes on at her house for meals and why the kids are so much larger than the adults. They’re a nice family but it’s all I can think about. My friend was a chubby kid and had a lot of mental issues from being chubby. She’s lost it all by 16 and hasn’t been chubby since though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I judge them.

Our children were garbage disposals when it came to food. They ate everything. Sugar was a staple. Brownies, cookies, donuts, cinnamon rolls, they did not discriminate.

The difference is that we directed them into situations that kept them very active. They were thin and healthy children and now they’re physically fit adults.

It’s possible to burn a lot of calories as a child.

It’s not about just the calories! There’s no nutrition in sugar

But sugar can make nutritious foods taste better to kids, who have undeveloped taste buds that prefer sweet foods to other tastes. Also, the PP lists a ton of food high in fat and sugar. A lot of parents who emphasize nutrition do not put enough emphasis on fat in kids diets. Kids need a LOT of fat. You might look at an after school snack of chocolate chip cookies and milk and think "so much sugar! there's no nutrition in that!" But actually that snack is loaded with fat and some protein, and may actually be better for a growing kid than something sugar free but also low fat.

A lot of adults, especially women, have skewed ideas about nutrition due to years (sometimes decades) of indoctrination into viewing fat as "unhealthy" and when they pass that onto their kids, even if they are feeding them otherwise nutritious foods, it can deprive kids of needed fats that help them grow and also help satiate their hunger. And if adding sugar to foods with fat, protein, and other nutrients gets your kids to eat fuller servings, which can reduce the amount of idle snacking, that is ultimately more nutritious than a sugar-free diet.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My close friend and her husband are gym rats and are so incredibly fit. All 3 of her children are very very overweight. I wonder what goes on at her house for meals and why the kids are so much larger than the adults. They’re a nice family but it’s all I can think about. My friend was a chubby kid and had a lot of mental issues from being chubby. She’s lost it all by 16 and hasn’t been chubby since though.

If she was chubby as a kid and then it evened out, maybe her kids will do the same. You just don't know.

I have the opposite issue. I was a super skinny string bean as a kid and filled out (but still very healthy weight) as a teen. My DC is the same and people freak out when they see a really thin kid and assume they are malnourished or being fed the wrong foods. I was a picky, light eater as a kid and my kid is too -- common to eat a few bites of something filling and feel full, rare to eat really big meals (does happen especially after a ton of exercise, but on a normal day with average exercise, just not a huge appetite). People also worried that there was something wrong with me as a kid, that I had an eating disorder or wouldn't grow or would have learning problems, none of which were true. I filled out and am now a very healthy weight, I believe my kid will too.

Some bodies just develop differently. Who knows why. There is no one size fits all for child nutrition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I judge them.

Our children were garbage disposals when it came to food. They ate everything. Sugar was a staple. Brownies, cookies, donuts, cinnamon rolls, they did not discriminate.

The difference is that we directed them into situations that kept them very active. They were thin and healthy children and now they’re physically fit adults.

It’s possible to burn a lot of calories as a child.

It’s not about just the calories! There’s no nutrition in sugar

But sugar can make nutritious foods taste better to kids, who have undeveloped taste buds that prefer sweet foods to other tastes. Also, the PP lists a ton of food high in fat and sugar. A lot of parents who emphasize nutrition do not put enough emphasis on fat in kids diets. Kids need a LOT of fat. You might look at an after school snack of chocolate chip cookies and milk and think "so much sugar! there's no nutrition in that!" But actually that snack is loaded with fat and some protein, and may actually be better for a growing kid than something sugar free but also low fat.

A lot of adults, especially women, have skewed ideas about nutrition due to years (sometimes decades) of indoctrination into viewing fat as "unhealthy" and when they pass that onto their kids, even if they are feeding them otherwise nutritious foods, it can deprive kids of needed fats that help them grow and also help satiate their hunger. And if adding sugar to foods with fat, protein, and other nutrients gets your kids to eat fuller servings, which can reduce the amount of idle snacking, that is ultimately more nutritious than a sugar-free diet.

This. ^^^

Chocolate milk is an excellent recovery drink after high physical activity like a soccer match.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

No more than I judge parents of kids who are painfully thin.or the parents with kids in curated outfits.

[Anonymous]

No, we eat very healthy at home and our kid does sports. It’s genetic. We allow unhealthy out but teen isn’t going out constantly with friends due to activities. Doctor said kid was fine. We worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My close friend and her husband are gym rats and are so incredibly fit. All 3 of her children are very very overweight. I wonder what goes on at her house for meals and why the kids are so much larger than the adults. They’re a nice family but it’s all I can think about. My friend was a chubby kid and had a lot of mental issues from being chubby. She’s lost it all by 16 and hasn’t been chubby since though.

Maybe it’s not the same genetics.