Do you consider leaving work at 7pm “working late”
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Anonymous
In your 30s and 40s+, yes that is late. You should at least be senior enough to take later calls at home. |
Anonymous
| Yes we say if we will not be home at 6pm, whether we are going to a work event or on a California project, etc. |
Anonymous
| Yes |
Anonymous
| It very much depends on your regular schedules. DH and I are home by 4:30/5 so getting home at 7 would be very late and we’d definitely let the other know. |
Anonymous
| Depends. I handle getting the kids to school in the morning so work til after 6 normally. So 7 is a little late but in a just finishing something sort of way |
Anonymous
| OP it sounds like he regularly work until 7 and you would like him not to. That’s a different question. There’s no one schedule that’s normal or too much, it’s just what works for your family. If it’s not working for you I would say that and explain why in detail, not make this about right/wrong schedules. Some problems are solvable with money (extra help, take out etc) some are not (kids barely seeing their parent on week nights). |
Anonymous
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My DH said all the time that others stayed late too. Guess what? They came in late! He was the only one coming in before dawn and staying late despite our agreed dinner time at 6pm. And instead of doing the dishes (we agreed he would handle dishes which is the lowest mental labor chore), he’d get on his laptop and work past when I went to sleep. The dirty dishes would still be there in the morning and he’d walk right past them on his way out.
Maybe your DH isn’t as bad of a workaholic as mine was, but mine started with “oh, everyone else is working long hours” which was a lie at his company. Even if it gets are staying late, he needs to pick up the slack somewhere and not keep you waiting. |
Anonymous
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Leaving work at 7:00 is late for most people, especially people with kids.
Regardless of what time it is, it's appropriate to tell your spouse if you're doing something way different from your usual schedule or from what you said you'd do. So leaving at 5:00 may not be late ... unless you usually leave at 4:00 and were expected home by 5:00. |
Anonymous
| Depends on the culture of the employer. That's not especially late for many law firms, consulting firms, venture capital and private equity firms, tech companies, hospitals, etc. |
Anonymous
That's a totally different question. Assuming you are both working full time you need to have a conversation with him about sharing parenting responsibility equally. When my kids were younger I (DW) tended to work long hours and travel for work, but we figured out how to balance responsibility. Plus we both wanted to spend time with our kids. |
Anonymous
This. 7 was a very normal time at my law firm. At my current nonprofit, 4:45 and everyone hits the street. |
Anonymous
If your spouse has a “big job” and you don’t, it is very, very normal for one person to do all the dinner and schlepping. Big jobs usually require longer hours and more face time. |
Anonymous
| No, not at all but I am in a lucrative field and it is the normal. |
Anonymous
He probably is not a workaholic. He is doing what it takes in order to keep his job which requires longer hours. |
Anonymous
And 7 o’clock is considered leaving early. |