I feel sorry for the tweens without phones

[Anonymous]

Sweetie, please go finish your homework.

[Anonymous]

Well, we have data about how dangerous phones are for kids and teens. It’s like giving your kids cigarettes because all the other kids are smoking. The link between phones and anxiety/depression is as clear and as smoking and cancer. It might look like you’ve done your child a favor right now from your perspective, but in the longer term, teenagers have foundered emotionally/mentally since the introduction of phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I'm reading a post from 2013. With everything we now know about screens and particularly phones, it's hard to believe an adult of tweens in 2025 would believe this much less post it.

If you actually had a tween (even one without a phone) you would know this is simply the reality. Like it or not.

I have 2 tweens actually! Neither have phones. And it's not the reality. It's just what parents like you tell yourself to justify your decision to give in and let them have phones.

I can’t speak to your reality. But my kids never had any friends without a phone past 7th grade. Literally none. Plenty don’t have social media but have a phone. A few in 6th grade didn’t have phones. They do know a few kids on their sports teams who don’t have phones and the moms write in the group chat instead of the kids. So then the kids create a separate “no parents” group chat where they can speak freely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I'm reading a post from 2013. With everything we now know about screens and particularly phones, it's hard to believe an adult of tweens in 2025 would believe this much less post it.

If you actually had a tween (even one without a phone) you would know this is simply the reality. Like it or not.

I have 2 tweens actually! Neither have phones. And it's not the reality. It's just what parents like you tell yourself to justify your decision to give in and let them have phones.

I can’t speak to your reality. But my kids never had any friends without a phone past 7th grade. Literally none. Plenty don’t have social media but have a phone. A few in 6th grade didn’t have phones. They do know a few kids on their sports teams who don’t have phones and the moms write in the group chat instead of the kids. So then the kids create a separate “no parents” group chat where they can speak freely.

Nothing wrong with a separate chat for scheduling, but I am reading my kid's text chains and so are most of the parents I know. There's no actually "parent-free" chat.

[Anonymous]

I was so relieved my daughter doesn't have a phone when I found out from a counselor that there was major cyber bullying happening among the girls at the school. One family moved because of it. My daughter never saw any of it.

[Anonymous]

My 7th grade kid has an Apple Watch. He can make calls and text but no social media. A smartphone is not needed yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I'm reading a post from 2013. With everything we now know about screens and particularly phones, it's hard to believe an adult of tweens in 2025 would believe this much less post it.

If you actually had a tween (even one without a phone) you would know this is simply the reality. Like it or not.

I have 2 tweens actually! Neither have phones. And it's not the reality. It's just what parents like you tell yourself to justify your decision to give in and let them have phones.

I can’t speak to your reality. But my kids never had any friends without a phone past 7th grade. Literally none. Plenty don’t have social media but have a phone. A few in 6th grade didn’t have phones. They do know a few kids on their sports teams who don’t have phones and the moms write in the group chat instead of the kids. So then the kids create a separate “no parents” group chat where they can speak freely.

So no friends without a phone - none - except the teammates without phones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was so relieved my daughter doesn't have a phone when I found out from a counselor that there was major cyber bullying happening among the girls at the school. One family moved because of it. My daughter never saw any of it.

Yeah every bullying story I hear from fellow middle school parents involves group chats.

My 6th grader has a simple phone watch thing that can message but not group message. Sometimes I wonder if he is missing out on something? But he has sweet friends, makes plan to hang out, reads books constantly and gets straight A+s.

I don't see how to have one without negative effects on the other.

[Anonymous]

Definitely no phone trend is rising. Most of my 6th graders friends have no phone. My 8th grader has no social media just talk and text. He complains about feeling left out because friends make plans on snapchat. But knowing how dangerous and addictive these social media apps are we don’t plan to let him have any kind of social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine has a phone, it’s just attached to the wall. They make their own plans. They have active and happy social lives.

LOL. Love this!!!!

[Anonymous]

It's too early for you to check out of parenting, OP!

[Anonymous]

People like OP don't offer their children solutions like "why don't you talk about this at school?", instead they encourage their children to leave out the kids that mom doesn't think is cool enough for them. That's OK, OP. My daughter won't be getting drunk and making out with nasty football players at house parties when she's 16 and that's just fine with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sweetie, please go finish your homework.

+1. OP is clearly a tween and has no business posting on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Completely agree with you OP

They also just don't get the memes and stuff and it's awkward. They're sometimes referred to as "YouTube shorts kids" because they see the same tiktoks/reels like seven months later on the only platform they're allowed on.

Are YOU a high schooler? You must be. No normal, educated, grown woman would care about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grader has a phone but I still need to hear from a parent before she goes to that person's house.

Also, many of her classmates are in the group chat using the family iPad or a smart watch, not on the child's personal phone. I mistakenly thought "everybody" had phones but it turned out they mostly just had icloud accounts.

Yes this!! Most of my daughter's friends have Apple Watches or iPads. She has an Apple Watch. Friends text her. She doesn't care about memes or TikTok dances.