What’s it like being white in a mostly Hispanic school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd is at an 80% Hispanic school 65% farms. No big issues but there are some different cultural issues. No hispanic kids will come to her birthday parties and she’s never invited to theirs. I even asked one of the friend’s moms and she told me weekends were for family. The only other girls who we have playdates with and go to birthday parties for are other white, Asian and one AA girl. Kind of stung for a while and I felt like we weren’t being inclusive but it is what it is. We did invite them.

About 1/4 of her K class spoke little to no English so that was challenging friends wise too.

My dd has no idea that many of the kids are lower income. Most have better clothes than her and definitely better shoes. Teacher buys extra snacks for kids who are hungry and I told her not to take food she doesn’t need. I sent some boxes of snacks in too and any supplies the teachers need. We often have brand new teachers and there’s a high burnout.

My kids are at a school with very similar stats (in DC proper), and this has been our experience.

The social side of it has been a problem, to be honest. Most of the Latino kids are living in multi-generational housing, and have a ton of family in the area. Their social lives revolve around family and cousins. There is not a culture of going over to play at a school friend's house or going to or throwing birthday parties with unrelated kids. The parents are friendly and kind at drop off and pick up, and school events (like assemblies), and the kids play together and have a great time at school and recess, but we have had absolutely zero success on out of school socializing, after three years of trying. Our kid being limited to 20% of his class for playing on weekends has been a problem - we (like many DC white families) have no family in the area.

This isn't said with judgment, and I don't begrudge these families (I would love it if my kid had a slew of cousins his age around!) There have been no issues around the economic differences, and I've also been really, really impressed at the teacher's ability to differentiate in class, so academic concerns have actually been less than I anticipated. Even the language barriers have been manageable (between Google Translate and the kids learning English quickly and well) though that is also a challenge. But we're seriously considering changing schools for social reasons. It makes me so sad, but that might be where we land.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dd is at an 80% Hispanic school 65% farms. No big issues but there are some different cultural issues. No hispanic kids will come to her birthday parties and she’s never invited to theirs. I even asked one of the friend’s moms and she told me weekends were for family. The only other girls who we have playdates with and go to birthday parties for are other white, Asian and one AA girl. Kind of stung for a while and I felt like we weren’t being inclusive but it is what it is. We did invite them.

About 1/4 of her K class spoke little to no English so that was challenging friends wise too.

My dd has no idea that many of the kids are lower income. Most have better clothes than her and definitely better shoes. Teacher buys extra snacks for kids who are hungry and I told her not to take food she doesn’t need. I sent some boxes of snacks in too and any supplies the teachers need. We often have brand new teachers and there’s a high burnout.

My kids are at a school with very similar stats (in DC proper), and this has been our experience.

The social side of it has been a problem, to be honest. Most of the Latino kids are living in multi-generational housing, and have a ton of family in the area. Their social lives revolve around family and cousins. There is not a culture of going over to play at a school friend's house or going to or throwing birthday parties with unrelated kids. The parents are friendly and kind at drop off and pick up, and school events (like assemblies), and the kids play together and have a great time at school and recess, but we have had absolutely zero success on out of school socializing, after three years of trying. Our kid being limited to 20% of his class for playing on weekends has been a problem - we (like many DC white families) have no family in the area.

This isn't said with judgment, and I don't begrudge these families (I would love it if my kid had a slew of cousins his age around!) There have been no issues around the economic differences, and I've also been really, really impressed at the teacher's ability to differentiate in class, so academic concerns have actually been less than I anticipated. Even the language barriers have been manageable (between Google Translate and the kids learning English quickly and well) though that is also a challenge. But we're seriously considering changing schools for social reasons. It makes me so sad, but that might be where we land.

PP here. I just read up thread that the school in question is 42% Latino. You will be fine, OP. Sheesh. I wish I hadn't even posted this. Our percentage of Latino students is double yours. A whole different world.

[Anonymous]

My kids are at a majority Latino school in a different area and we've had the same experience. My 5th grade son invited a boy over and I offered to drive them to their band concert afterward. The mom told me that it was the first "playdate" he has EVER had outside his family! He has exclusively played with cousins his entire childhood, who all live on his block. My other son befriended a boy in Kindergarten and it took months before the mom trusted me enough to host him. We went on outings together, she inspected my house, and so on. Again, cousins are his social life.
There is no culture of kids birthday parties. They don't throw them and they don't usually come to them. If you get close they invite you to their backyard parties which are of course fun but completely different from the two hours at a Trampoline park that white people do.

[Anonymous]

I went to a majority Latino middle school in Wheaton and ..it was fine? I had friends from Puerto Rico, El Salvador, the Dominican Republic, and Colombia and went to their homes on the weekends. Everyone was really friendly.

[Anonymous]

Mom to a white kid at a majority Latino school. It's frankly not something I think about too much.

I think the previous posters who mentioned socializing being different were right.

The food at international night is always good. His Latino friends taught him how to curse in Spanish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this was the whitest thing you could have done.

I have secondhand embarrassment for you.

OP, gently, this is not a thing you need to worry about. Diversity is a good thing. Your real issue is the fact that SSIMS is about to be closed by MCPS - worry about that and what programs Northwood might have after this mess of a regional program plan goes through.

Maybe people with actual experience should answer, and the holier-than-tho posters should just bite their tongues.

My kid was the only white student in class one year. Mid-year another white student transferred in. The school was black and brown. It was the best year we had in MCPS. Kids are able to just **be** non-racist. It's MCPS who is constantly shoving the anti-racism down their throats. Such a shame because it deprives them of the actual experience of being in an environment where race is secondary. It will be fine, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid will become Latino like his peers, its contagious. His taste in food and music will improve and he'll become more kind hearted. Sorry for breaking the bad news.

and to add a cherry on top, your yard and house will never be tidier

[Anonymous]

My biracial daughter goes to SSIMS and will attend Northwood, and her friend group is genuinely a diverse mix of races, though mostly white kids if I’m being honest. Nothing about the school has ever felt overwhelmingly Hispanic or dominated by any one group. I think sometimes the data or stereotypes can make people picture something very different from what the kids actually experience. It might help to spend some time getting to know the community from different angles before making assumptions.

[Anonymous]

We're at a 60%+ Latino school with high FARMS and are not Latino but of another cultural background and really like it. DC is no longer bullied for being brown like they were incessantly in ES. People are respectful to one another and I am so thankful DC is out of the W feeder ES environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are at a majority Latino school in a different area and we've had the same experience. My 5th grade son invited a boy over and I offered to drive them to their band concert afterward. The mom told me that it was the first "playdate" he has EVER had outside his family! He has exclusively played with cousins his entire childhood, who all live on his block. My other son befriended a boy in Kindergarten and it took months before the mom trusted me enough to host him. We went on outings together, she inspected my house, and so on. Again, cousins are his social life.
There is no culture of kids birthday parties. They don't throw them and they don't usually come to them. If you get close they invite you to their backyard parties which are of course fun but completely different from the two hours at a Trampoline park that white people do.

To be clear, Latino families do have a culture of kids birthday parties and friends. What they don't have is a culture of doing that with a lot of strangers. And they have a premium on family and community(i.e Neighborhood). They also do place a premium on lavish expensive parties every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is heading to SSIMS and probably Northwood after that.

What is it like being white in a mostly Hispanic school? Are there any cultural differences to be aware of?

I am Latina and grew up in almost entirely Latino public schools. I'll be honest, I perceived the few white kids as economically privileged (they usually were) and sometimes there were cultural things they didn't understand but they often caught on to those quickly and were quick to joke about them. No other significant differences and most of the time we never thought about it.

Like? What kind of cultural things?

I don’t even remember. Minor things imo.

But some things I know I experienced as a child that might seem odd to white families include not celebrating Halloween, no sleepovers, no summer camps, no money or time for extracurriculars, more emphasis on family time (like family doing most things together). Also maybe a different sense of humor, it’s hard to describe, no tiptoeing around things and less passive aggression, more direct language for better or worse. How much of this impacted my white classmates, idk. I think this stuff also varies among Latinos so these are huge generalizations.

These are not Latino things. These are things common in many immigrant communities. Many white European immigrant families do these things, for example.

Hispanics are white European immigrants also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is heading to SSIMS and probably Northwood after that.

What is it like being white in a mostly Hispanic school? Are there any cultural differences to be aware of?

I am Latina and grew up in almost entirely Latino public schools. I'll be honest, I perceived the few white kids as economically privileged (they usually were) and sometimes there were cultural things they didn't understand but they often caught on to those quickly and were quick to joke about them. No other significant differences and most of the time we never thought about it.

Like? What kind of cultural things?

I don’t even remember. Minor things imo.

But some things I know I experienced as a child that might seem odd to white families include not celebrating Halloween, no sleepovers, no summer camps, no money or time for extracurriculars, more emphasis on family time (like family doing most things together). Also maybe a different sense of humor, it’s hard to describe, no tiptoeing around things and less passive aggression, more direct language for better or worse. How much of this impacted my white classmates, idk. I think this stuff also varies among Latinos so these are huge generalizations.

These are not Latino things. These are things common in many immigrant communities. Many white European immigrant families do these things, for example.

Hispanics are white European immigrants also.

Some Hispanics are. Some aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this was the whitest thing you could have done.

I have secondhand embarrassment for you.

OP, gently, this is not a thing you need to worry about. Diversity is a good thing. Your real issue is the fact that SSIMS is about to be closed by MCPS - worry about that and what programs Northwood might have after this mess of a regional program plan goes through.

Maybe people with actual experience should answer, and the holier-than-tho posters should just bite their tongues.

My kid was the only white student in class one year. Mid-year another white student transferred in. The school was black and brown. It was the best year we had in MCPS. Kids are able to just **be** non-racist. It's MCPS who is constantly shoving the anti-racism down their throats. Such a shame because it deprives them of the actual experience of being in an environment where race is secondary. It will be fine, OP.

If kids could like in a vacuum, they could just be non-racist. However, some kids go home to households, communities, and media that are racist so it’s not just good enough to not be racist. You have to racism-proof your kid by actively being anti-racist. Otherwise, your kid is unprepared to recognize and resist with racism when they encounter it.

I had a very disappointed student who told me that all of the students of a particular race were naturally better at something. He was desperate for any explanation for how he hadn’t been selected despite working so hard for years. Someone gave him a racist one. He was unprepared to recognize it for what is was and now his parents have to deal with extricating that part of how he sees the world.