20, 18 and infant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good thing they had their firsts young. To each their own.

This. MYOB OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 18- year old is out of the house and independent. What's it to him what we do in our home.
I was out of the house at 18.5. I moved to another continent and never looked back.

If you have a fully independent 18 year old I consider that a failure in parenting.

-1

[Anonymous]

I know one family like this. Very nice people and very loving, it not overly involved parents. Their entire lives are their kids. All their interests are wrapped up in their kids' interests and activities. When their youngest was getting ready to go to college, my friend was stressing about the "what now". They had their first kids young, so they were in their 40s when they decided to have another. Seems like pure hell to me but they are happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not? Good for them.

Selfish and stupid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's selfish in that the older two will end up parenting the younger sibling and managing aging parents . Most likely they are just trying to hold onto their youth and marriage as their only identity is parent.
I wouldn't do it intentionally, but not my life.

The older two should be in college, but even if they are living at home, they should be attending school, working, and living an independent life, rather than being at home taking care of a baby. This should be a non-issue.

A baby is a blessing. If they are in good health, have a safe and loving home, want a baby, and can financially support a baby, then their baby is probably better off than 90% of children in America. I have several friends who had kids in their early 40s, and they've been wonderful parents throughout all life stages, from infancy to the teenage years. There are pros and cons to having a child in your forties - the pros of older parents usually include financial stability and wisdom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess would be an accident/surprise. I have friends with a similar dynamic and they say no baby is an accident because you know that what youre causes babies. So therefore don’t be surprised when it happens. If the people you know have the same logic they won’t be telling people it was an accident.

Also, not everyone wants to share if a baby was an accident. I wouldn’t if it were me. I wouldn’t want that getting back to my child someday.

I'd believe she wanted the baby and probably not him, but he should've gotten a vasectomy.

That said, I think it's so unfair to everyone involved. The older kids don't get to know the younger one. The younger one grows up as an only isolated in the household with no siblings and older parents that may or may not have a stable marriage. Finally the older kids won't get the previous support they had. Financially or otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Many of us on here had our fist kids around the age they’re having their third. Nothing wrong with either. They likely won’t have as much energy when the third is in HS as they do now but they’ll have enough. I can understand enjoying parenting and wanting to experience it again

[Anonymous]

My 30 and 20-something adult dcs' love their 11 yo sibling. She's been the light of all our lives. She also looks forward to being an aunt when the first grandchild arrives!

My own mom is still living and loving dc and my dad was until last year. My older dc are certainly not 'parenting younger sibling and managing aging parent' hello I'm 54 and we're heading to the trampoline park later!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My 30 and 20-something adult dcs' love their 11 yo sibling. She's been the light of all our lives. She also looks forward to being an aunt when the first grandchild arrives!

My own mom is still living and loving dc and my dad was until last year. My older dc are certainly not 'parenting younger sibling and managing aging parent' hello I'm 54 and we're heading to the trampoline park later!

What was the reasoning behind the 20 year gap?

[Anonymous]

Why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of us on here had our fist kids around the age they’re having their third. Nothing wrong with either. They likely won’t have as much energy when the third is in HS as they do now but they’ll have enough. I can understand enjoying parenting and wanting to experience it again

Yeah. I had three kids in my 30s. I’m almost 40 and we’re done. I often think we would have gone for a fourth if we were younger….. that may or may not be strictly true, but I have loved pregnancy, the baby phase, raising little humans, etc., and I personally think it would be hard to close the door on more kids if we had lots of fertile years left. Right or wrong. In any case, I can easily see this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess would be an accident/surprise. I have friends with a similar dynamic and they say no baby is an accident because you know that what youre causes babies. So therefore don’t be surprised when it happens. If the people you know have the same logic they won’t be telling people it was an accident.

Also, not everyone wants to share if a baby was an accident. I wouldn’t if it were me. I wouldn’t want that getting back to my child someday.

I'd believe she wanted the baby and probably not him, but he should've gotten a vasectomy.

That said, I think it's so unfair to everyone involved. The older kids don't get to know the younger one. The younger one grows up as an only isolated in the household with no siblings and older parents that may or may not have a stable marriage. Finally the older kids won't get the previous support they had. Financially or otherwise.

Not sure why you think what you think, but it seems like there are quite a few assumptions here? Third baby will be raised somewhat like an only child, but is that bad? Similarly, regarding parental attention: is it bad to have three kids? Children share needed parental attention when they gain a sibling, whatever their own age. Arguably adults have less to lose.

[Anonymous]

Its odd. Very odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My 30 and 20-something adult dcs' love their 11 yo sibling. She's been the light of all our lives. She also looks forward to being an aunt when the first grandchild arrives!

My own mom is still living and loving dc and my dad was until last year. My older dc are certainly not 'parenting younger sibling and managing aging parent' hello I'm 54 and we're heading to the trampoline park later!

People on here are constantly posting about how their much older kids just adore their much younger sibling. In real life the people I know who have these either resented the change in the family dynamic or were not remotely close to their much younger get sibling until much later in adulthood. It absolutely dramatically changes the family dynamic but to each his own.

[Anonymous]

Be happy for them!