Why do parents host booze-fueled parties for underage kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you drank in high school think back to the houses you drank in. At least in my personal experience it was always parents who were a mess themselves, either divorced and it was the dad trying to be cool, or parents who were drunk themselves, or parents who were always out of town or out partying.

Yes this is so true our hangout house was a divorced mom who had a creepy boyfriend and I think back to some of our interactions with the boyfriend (I am female) and it’s truly mind blowing.

Same here. He used to buy the booze!
The hangout house was always the place with drunk/absentee parents. I notice now in a wealthier area it seems to be highly engaged parents who just really want popular kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t actually want to understand, you just want to judge and shame.

Do you expect OP to give out parent of the year awards to such people?

There are two of them!

No, no one wants awards from the judgy parents. Most ignore the awards and the judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We allowed one at our house, but didn’t supply booze of course. I put a lot of waters and soda in the basement for them. Kids arrived with backpacks that I’m sure contained booze. Party ended at the time I requested. Nobody drove. Why did I allow this? I don’t know…why not I guess? Kids were seeking a house for a party and I said sure. It was going to happen somewhere and we have the space for it, and forgiving neighbors.

I could have written this post. Same exact thing here. It’s not a regular thing but I’ll allow it on special occasions. Once maybe twice a year. It’s been fine and brought a lot of excitement to our house

This is the genuine answer why people do it. They don’t see a problem with it.

Abstinence only parents won’t understand the parents who provide condoms, and don’t drink and party parents won’t understand the parents that want their kids to drink and party at a house rather than while hiding in shame.

Abstinence only parents have more grandchildren out of wedlock, but still judge the parents that provide condoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this like the 3rd thread on this topic in a week??

Probably this week...and probably the 10th time this month...and over 100 for the year.

DCUM needs to use AI to just reject posts of topics that are brought up repeatedly, and point the person to the Nth number of existing threads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We allowed one at our house, but didn’t supply booze of course. I put a lot of waters and soda in the basement for them. Kids arrived with backpacks that I’m sure contained booze. Party ended at the time I requested. Nobody drove. Why did I allow this? I don’t know…why not I guess? Kids were seeking a house for a party and I said sure. It was going to happen somewhere and we have the space for it, and forgiving neighbors.

I could have written this post. Same exact thing here. It’s not a regular thing but I’ll allow it on special occasions. Once maybe twice a year. It’s been fine and brought a lot of excitement to our house

This is the genuine answer why people do it. They don’t see a problem with it.

Abstinence only parents won’t understand the parents who provide condoms, and don’t drink and party parents won’t understand the parents that want their kids to drink and party at a house rather than while hiding in shame.

Abstinence only parents have more grandchildren out of wedlock, but still judge the parents that provide condoms.

NP - first of all, abstinence from sex is a terrible comparison to abstinence from booze. Providing condoms hurts no one. Supplying children with alcohol hurts those children. There’s a lot of evidence showing the latter.

Second, parental attitudes towards drinking don’t have to be all or nothing. It’s not supply your kids with booze vs. pretend they never drink. FFS, tell your kids you expect them not to drink, but you’re aware that they might, and if they do, your safety is the most important thing. Tell them you won’t punish them for calling you for a ride home when they get drunk.

Is the above a perfect approach? No. But it’s a lot better than handing over the alcohol or pretending alcohol doesn’t exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this like the 3rd thread on this topic in a week??

+1. Search for this and there's plenty of threads to revive if one feels the need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this like the 3rd thread on this topic in a week??

Probably this week...and probably the 10th time this month...and over 100 for the year.

DCUM needs to use AI to just reject posts of topics that are brought up repeatedly, and point the person to the Nth number of existing threads.

NP. It’s in a tie with the short son’s topic.

I think people bring it up over and over because the choice of plenty of parents to enable/turn a blind eye to teen drinking affects the whole community and the social options for all our kids. That part is frustrating as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We allowed one at our house, but didn’t supply booze of course. I put a lot of waters and soda in the basement for them. Kids arrived with backpacks that I’m sure contained booze. Party ended at the time I requested. Nobody drove. Why did I allow this? I don’t know…why not I guess? Kids were seeking a house for a party and I said sure. It was going to happen somewhere and we have the space for it, and forgiving neighbors.

I could have written this post. Same exact thing here. It’s not a regular thing but I’ll allow it on special occasions. Once maybe twice a year. It’s been fine and brought a lot of excitement to our house

This is the genuine answer why people do it. They don’t see a problem with it.

Abstinence only parents won’t understand the parents who provide condoms, and don’t drink and party parents won’t understand the parents that want their kids to drink and party at a house rather than while hiding in shame.

Abstinence only parents have more grandchildren out of wedlock, but still judge the parents that provide condoms.

NP - first of all, abstinence from sex is a terrible comparison to abstinence from booze. Providing condoms hurts no one. Supplying children with alcohol hurts those children. There’s a lot of evidence showing the latter.

Second, parental attitudes towards drinking don’t have to be all or nothing. It’s not supply your kids with booze vs. pretend they never drink. FFS, tell your kids you expect them not to drink, but you’re aware that they might, and if they do, your safety is the most important thing. Tell them you won’t punish them for calling you for a ride home when they get drunk.

Is the above a perfect approach? No. But it’s a lot better than handing over the alcohol or pretending alcohol doesn’t exist.

Right, so the parent who hosted the party and did not supply any booze I think did the right thing. But that parent is still being criticized for not keeping an exacting eye on every beverage brought into the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this like the 3rd thread on this topic in a week??

Probably this week...and probably the 10th time this month...and over 100 for the year.

DCUM needs to use AI to just reject posts of topics that are brought up repeatedly, and point the person to the Nth number of existing threads.

NP. It’s in a tie with the short son’s topic.

I think people bring it up over and over because the choice of plenty of parents to enable/turn a blind eye to teen drinking affects the whole community and the social options for all our kids. That part is frustrating as a parent.

Parent your child. Just keep your child away. Oh wait, you can't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We allowed one at our house, but didn’t supply booze of course. I put a lot of waters and soda in the basement for them. Kids arrived with backpacks that I’m sure contained booze. Party ended at the time I requested. Nobody drove. Why did I allow this? I don’t know…why not I guess? Kids were seeking a house for a party and I said sure. It was going to happen somewhere and we have the space for it, and forgiving neighbors.

I could have written this post. Same exact thing here. It’s not a regular thing but I’ll allow it on special occasions. Once maybe twice a year. It’s been fine and brought a lot of excitement to our house

This is the genuine answer why people do it. They don’t see a problem with it.

Abstinence only parents won’t understand the parents who provide condoms, and don’t drink and party parents won’t understand the parents that want their kids to drink and party at a house rather than while hiding in shame.

Abstinence only parents have more grandchildren out of wedlock, but still judge the parents that provide condoms.

NP - first of all, abstinence from sex is a terrible comparison to abstinence from booze. Providing condoms hurts no one. Supplying children with alcohol hurts those children. There’s a lot of evidence showing the latter.

Second, parental attitudes towards drinking don’t have to be all or nothing. It’s not supply your kids with booze vs. pretend they never drink. FFS, tell your kids you expect them not to drink, but you’re aware that they might, and if they do, your safety is the most important thing. Tell them you won’t punish them for calling you for a ride home when they get drunk.

Is the above a perfect approach? No. But it’s a lot better than handing over the alcohol or pretending alcohol doesn’t exist.

This is how most people I know in real life approach the topic. But there are a lot of people doing the I know there is booze in your backpack and I don’t care routine mentioned previously. To me that lies somewhere on the all or nothing scale and I’m not comfortable with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We allowed one at our house, but didn’t supply booze of course. I put a lot of waters and soda in the basement for them. Kids arrived with backpacks that I’m sure contained booze. Party ended at the time I requested. Nobody drove. Why did I allow this? I don’t know…why not I guess? Kids were seeking a house for a party and I said sure. It was going to happen somewhere and we have the space for it, and forgiving neighbors.

I could have written this post. Same exact thing here. It’s not a regular thing but I’ll allow it on special occasions. Once maybe twice a year. It’s been fine and brought a lot of excitement to our house

This is the genuine answer why people do it. They don’t see a problem with it.

Abstinence only parents won’t understand the parents who provide condoms, and don’t drink and party parents won’t understand the parents that want their kids to drink and party at a house rather than while hiding in shame.

Abstinence only parents have more grandchildren out of wedlock, but still judge the parents that provide condoms.

NP - first of all, abstinence from sex is a terrible comparison to abstinence from booze. Providing condoms hurts no one. Supplying children with alcohol hurts those children. There’s a lot of evidence showing the latter.

Second, parental attitudes towards drinking don’t have to be all or nothing. It’s not supply your kids with booze vs. pretend they never drink. FFS, tell your kids you expect them not to drink, but you’re aware that they might, and if they do, your safety is the most important thing. Tell them you won’t punish them for calling you for a ride home when they get drunk.

Is the above a perfect approach? No. But it’s a lot better than handing over the alcohol or pretending alcohol doesn’t exist.

This is how most people I know in real life approach the topic. But there are a lot of people doing the I know there is booze in your backpack and I don’t care routine mentioned previously. To me that lies somewhere on the all or nothing scale and I’m not comfortable with it.

Well you're not going to get the whole world to choose your exact place in between all or nothing. Parent your own kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We allowed one at our house, but didn’t supply booze of course. I put a lot of waters and soda in the basement for them. Kids arrived with backpacks that I’m sure contained booze. Party ended at the time I requested. Nobody drove. Why did I allow this? I don’t know…why not I guess? Kids were seeking a house for a party and I said sure. It was going to happen somewhere and we have the space for it, and forgiving neighbors.

I could have written this post. Same exact thing here. It’s not a regular thing but I’ll allow it on special occasions. Once maybe twice a year. It’s been fine and brought a lot of excitement to our house

This is the genuine answer why people do it. They don’t see a problem with it.

Abstinence only parents won’t understand the parents who provide condoms, and don’t drink and party parents won’t understand the parents that want their kids to drink and party at a house rather than while hiding in shame.

Abstinence only parents have more grandchildren out of wedlock, but still judge the parents that provide condoms.

NP - first of all, abstinence from sex is a terrible comparison to abstinence from booze. Providing condoms hurts no one. Supplying children with alcohol hurts those children. There’s a lot of evidence showing the latter.

Second, parental attitudes towards drinking don’t have to be all or nothing. It’s not supply your kids with booze vs. pretend they never drink. FFS, tell your kids you expect them not to drink, but you’re aware that they might, and if they do, your safety is the most important thing. Tell them you won’t punish them for calling you for a ride home when they get drunk.

Is the above a perfect approach? No. But it’s a lot better than handing over the alcohol or pretending alcohol doesn’t exist.

This is how most people I know in real life approach the topic. But there are a lot of people doing the I know there is booze in your backpack and I don’t care routine mentioned previously. To me that lies somewhere on the all or nothing scale and I’m not comfortable with it.

Well you're not going to get the whole world to choose your exact place in between all or nothing. Parent your own kid.

Yes, that is what we are all doing and then the other adults in your community notice what you do and have thoughts about it. Are people supposed to act happy that you provide an environment for 14 year olds to get drunk? That's what this thread started with. Freshman in high school. Do it and deal with the judgment.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s horrifying, and abusive. This is why I meet the parents of the kids my kids hang out with, or host. Not letting my teens get into dangerous situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We allowed one at our house, but didn’t supply booze of course. I put a lot of waters and soda in the basement for them. Kids arrived with backpacks that I’m sure contained booze. Party ended at the time I requested. Nobody drove. Why did I allow this? I don’t know…why not I guess? Kids were seeking a house for a party and I said sure. It was going to happen somewhere and we have the space for it, and forgiving neighbors.

I could have written this post. Same exact thing here. It’s not a regular thing but I’ll allow it on special occasions. Once maybe twice a year. It’s been fine and brought a lot of excitement to our house

This is the genuine answer why people do it. They don’t see a problem with it.

Abstinence only parents won’t understand the parents who provide condoms, and don’t drink and party parents won’t understand the parents that want their kids to drink and party at a house rather than while hiding in shame.

Abstinence only parents have more grandchildren out of wedlock, but still judge the parents that provide condoms.

NP - first of all, abstinence from sex is a terrible comparison to abstinence from booze. Providing condoms hurts no one. Supplying children with alcohol hurts those children. There’s a lot of evidence showing the latter.

Second, parental attitudes towards drinking don’t have to be all or nothing. It’s not supply your kids with booze vs. pretend they never drink. FFS, tell your kids you expect them not to drink, but you’re aware that they might, and if they do, your safety is the most important thing. Tell them you won’t punish them for calling you for a ride home when they get drunk.

Is the above a perfect approach? No. But it’s a lot better than handing over the alcohol or pretending alcohol doesn’t exist.

This is how most people I know in real life approach the topic. But there are a lot of people doing the I know there is booze in your backpack and I don’t care routine mentioned previously. To me that lies somewhere on the all or nothing scale and I’m not comfortable with it.

Well you're not going to get the whole world to choose your exact place in between all or nothing. Parent your own kid.

Yes, that is what we are all doing and then the other adults in your community notice what you do and have thoughts about it. Are people supposed to act happy that you provide an environment for 14 year olds to get drunk? That's what this thread started with. Freshman in high school. Do it and deal with the judgment.

Why assume what I do? What I see is the parents who do it don't care about the judgment. So if you're doing that, and they're doing that, then the circles should separate. Everyone should be ok.

[Anonymous]

So many posts on DCUM blasting the alleged “selfishness” of boomer parents. But wow. We are nothing compared to y’all.

Your generation really does a shockingly shitty job of parenting.

I never knew a single parent who ever allowed a party with booze—or who turned their back to backpacks bringing.

We may be selfish, but at least we acted as responsibly as we could as parents. Y’all are just too vested in making sure your kids “like” you and think you’re cool. It’s pathetic.