Please stop doing twin day for spirit week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The teacher should randomly pair kids. It will be more interesting and take some actual effort for the kids to work together successfully.

No way. Way to take the fun out of something that already isn't that fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The teacher should randomly pair kids. It will be more interesting and take some actual effort for the kids to work together successfully.

OP here and I've had a teacher do this and appreciated the idea but in reality this is miserable because then you are trying to coordinate with the parent of a kid your child may barely know, and parents are not always responsive or interested in this, and meanwhile your kid is pestering you about "have you talked to Lucy's mom yet? Does Lucy have a red dress? Do we need to buy a striped shirt? Lucy said she has a striped shirt!"

This is not the hassle I kneed on a Tuesday night, you know?

"Larla, figure out if Lucy has a purple, blue or pink shirt. If you want to twin with her, you have a lot of those colors. Otherwise you can wear your Cougar Elementary school shirts."

You are making it WAY more complicated than it needs to be.

You seem to not understand how the timing works.

You find out your kid has been assigned to Lucy for twin day at like 5pm the night before. At this point your child has talked to Lucy but because they are both 7, neither is sure if they figured out what to wear. Your kid is panicking -- did they agree to purple or blue? Can you call Lucy's mom?

You've never met Lucy's mom but you find her number in the directory and call or text. If you're lucky, she responds and you work it out. But sometimes you get no response. Your kid frets all night about if they are going to match.

The next day, Lucy is absent. Meanwhile, hours of your life will have been distracted by this completely manufactured drama for absolutely no reason. Within 48 hours, everyone will have forgotten about it. And yet schools continue to create this fake problem for parents to deal with year after year. Why? Because moms' time and bandwidth doesn't matter to anyone.

[Anonymous]

As a twin, I also hated the idea that twins dress alike being the “theme”.

But I also hated the exclusion aspect for my kids. One of my daughters was very sensitive about excluding anyone and would spend huge amounts of time trying to coordinate an outfit that everyone could participate in.

[Anonymous]

I agree, I don't like it. Our school usually does twin day + school shirt day (on the same day), which at least gives some kids an out. Ironically, I have twins, one of whom gets into it with their friends and one who is more socially awkward and usually skips it or does the school shirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is honestly just a PSA for anyone involved in planning spirit week themes for schools. Any school.

Please don't do twin day. It is the worst. There is no way for it not to be terrible, I know because I've seen several efforts to make it less terrible, and it doesn't matter. It's still bad. It is especially bad for younger kids (because they need a lot of help from parents to execute it) but it also creates problems for 4th and 5th graders sometimes too.

Best case scenario, your kid has a bestie or besties AND they can either coordinate on their own or the parents are able to coordinate AND no one gets sick or forgets.

In reality, some kids struggle to find a "twin", there are sometimes arguments over what to wear, it turns out one of the kids doesn't have a matching item so they either need their parent to purchase/borrow it last minute or find another twin or convince their twin to do something else or whatever. I have had years where teachers have assigned "twins" to kids in an effort to ensure no one gets left out. This still doesn't work because not all parents get the memo, kids override the assignments, etc. And there are always kids who forget or don't show up.

Do anything else. Mismatch day, pajama day, plaid day, black out day, white out day, silly hair day, whatever. Just not twin day. Please. It takes too much coordination and results in too much disappointment and hurt feelings over absolutely nothing.

I agree! This is horrible for kids who have a hard time making friends or being assertive. My son never had a “twin” and it totally sucked. I think once a teacher was his twin.

[Anonymous]

Don’t like it, don’t participate. No one is going to change their school plans because of a “PSA” 🙄 from a meaningless internet stranger.

[Anonymous]

Spirit Week is BS PTA mom time-wasting. Shut down the whole thing ffs.

[Anonymous]

One reason I hate twin day is that as a mom of an elementary school girl, I think these girls already focus too much on having a "best friend" or having set friend groups. All of the social challenges my DD has had in elementary have stemmed from this idea that girls are supposed to have some kind of best friend and that relationship is supposed to be exclusive.

I have always encouraged DD to have multiple friends, to not worry about assigning titles like "best" to any friendship, and to be flexible and open to the idea of being friends with almost anyone. This is easier because it means she never has to panic because she and her "BFF" aren't in the same class, or because they aren't doing the same sport, or whatever. DD can have different friends in different settings and can hang out in groups where the kids shift with time and there's no drama.

Twin day plays right into the BFF drama and schools need to be discouraging. You don't need a BFF. You need social skills and flexibility to enjoy the company of lots of different people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t like it, don’t participate. No one is going to change their school plans because of a “PSA” 🙄 from a meaningless internet stranger.

I actually think the points in this thread might stick with someone on a PTA and when they are coming up with spirit day themes, might think "oh some people hate twin day, let's not do that this year."

A lot of times people don't really know what the problem is with something like this because it may not be a problem for their kid. So it is actually useful to share something like this here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, yes, yes, yes! The worst idea ever. Shocking that some teachers can't see what a disaster this is.

My kid is in an all special needs school and one of the spirit week days was twin day. These kids struggle with communicating at all - they’re not going to be able to pick one kid and coordinate outfits with them. Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t like it, don’t participate. No one is going to change their school plans because of a “PSA” 🙄 from a meaningless internet stranger.

Dang you told that Karen

[Anonymous]

My child who had bad social anxiety used to ask to stay home on twin day. I let her. I agree it's not fun for so many kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spirit Week is BS PTA mom time-wasting. Shut down the whole thing ffs.

It really is. I can understand it for high school, but in elementary and middle school? Please just stop the whole thing.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was a twin for the first two years of her life until her sister died.

I hate the twin day - I already imagine what it would be like if she still had a living twin every day, and then the PTA emails me about it a million times.

So insensitive. Yes I asked them to stop. They declined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year the teacher sent out and email saying she was wearing her school shirt and anyone who wished could twin with her by wearing that same shirt or a shirt of the same color. I appreciated that a lot.

This is lovely.

when I was room mom I sent out an email saying my kid and a few friends were wearing their class shirt and all were welcome to join in if they didn't have a buddy. Twin day sucks!