Boyfriend lied to me about his politics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a vent post. When I first met my boyfriend he came off as a pretty nice guy, very well read, open-minded and intelligent. He mentioned being a feminist in our early dating and espoused views about equality (this was all unprompted).

Now that we’ve settled into the relationship he has started trying to get me to listen to various podcasts he’s into. I don’t listen to podcasts and never really knew who these people were. Well after listening more they are saying some very anti-woman stuff, and my boyfriend has started complaining about how feminism and women working has ruined our society. He also has started saying super anti-Jewish stuff. Um WTF?! He is entitled to his opinions, but he clearly deceived me on his views.

I decided im done. But i’m pissed that he wasted my time.

Cool story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a modern conservative.

Yep, conservatives are obviously leading the anti-semitic attacks on campuses and elsewhere.

I'm old enough to remember the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville and the chants of "Jews won't replace us." So, yeah, anti-Semitism is sort of a cornerstone of right-wing ideology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conservative man here. I've had many relationships where I never revealed my politics and just went along with her views. They never had a clue. It's a thing we do for sure but only with women who never ask and just assume which is nearly all of them.

Would you reveal it straight away if the woman revealed straight away that she’s conservative? I might be dating again soon and definitely looking for conservative men this time. It would prevent so many arguments.

Also, do you think most conservative men are religious these days? I’m not in a church and was hoping to find someone conservative but not religious. Not sure where to find those men though.

Much more common than not, for both men and women. Something like 60% of religious voters poll Democrat these days. Only about 35% of Republican voters are religious. Only about 10% of Independent or Libertarianish voters are religious.

[Anonymous]

Gross. Don't date liars! Good for you for dropping him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:End the relationship
Your political views don’t align.

It's not just political views.

It is core, baseline values as a human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a vent post. When I first met my boyfriend he came off as a pretty nice guy, very well read, open-minded and intelligent. He mentioned being a feminist in our early dating and espoused views about equality (this was all unprompted).

Now that we’ve settled into the relationship he has started trying to get me to listen to various podcasts he’s into. I don’t listen to podcasts and never really knew who these people were. Well after listening more they are saying some very anti-woman stuff, and my boyfriend has started complaining about how feminism and women working has ruined our society. He also has started saying super anti-Jewish stuff. Um WTF?! He is entitled to his opinions, but he clearly deceived me on his views.

I decided im done. But i’m pissed that he wasted my time.

An ex-friend married a guy like this. The guy is an extreme rwnj who kept his crazy, scary background a secret from his now wife. He seems reasonable and likeable when you first meet him. She is the breadwinner and had lots of friends. Now he controls everything in the house and who my ex-friend hangs around with. He posts a lot on social media and is spending all of the money she makes on guns, bullets, weird prepping, and odd toys for himself. She's not allowed to go in certain parts of their home. He shops for them and is a hoarder. He boasts on line in his incel related groups how he's trained her not to question things. He goes out early in the am to shop before she is up and hides things. He boasts on-line about he has kept his past hidden from her. She is well paid and he had a reasonable tech job with an adult married daughter. Their house should have been paid of over a decade ago. They struggled to put together 2k for a down payment on a new car a few years ago.

Take your time dating people and if they won't talk about their past or views, don't rush to commit.

PP this sounds horrible. Why doesn’t she divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:End the relationship
Your political views don’t align.

Anti semitism and misogyny aren't political views.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zero possibility this is a real post. But a pro tip it's not what men say it's what they do

It's a new grift for men to act feminist there's even influencers in on the grift .


Also people change if you're old enough to date you're old enough to understand that concept.

Move on and next time save this nonsense for your journal.

Women's grift is to act feminist and independent but expt men to pay for dates and travel etc. on top of lavish gifts.

More like men's gift is to claim they believe in "traditional gender roles" but they can't afford that, so instead they expect women to pay most of the bills (because otherwise she's a gold digger) but also do all the housework.

No wonder women are rejecting this deal.

Yes, which makes them labor diggers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:End the relationship
Your political views don’t align.

Anti semitism and misogyny aren't political views.

Unfortunately they are, as these views are attached to policy positions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conservative man here. I've had many relationships where I never revealed my politics and just went along with her views. They never had a clue. It's a thing we do for sure but only with women who never ask and just assume which is nearly all of them.

Would you reveal it straight away if the woman revealed straight away that she’s conservative? I might be dating again soon and definitely looking for conservative men this time. It would prevent so many arguments.

Also, do you think most conservative men are religious these days? I’m not in a church and was hoping to find someone conservative but not religious. Not sure where to find those men though.

Yes, if she revealed she was conservative, I'd reveal that I am also right away. I only hide it when our politics clash. That said, I won't contact anyone's dating profile that states, no conservative men. Also, I'm conservative and not religious at all and I don't align with a lot of the far right views on things like, abortion. By all means please, state you are conservative on your dating profile. That's a real plus for me for it's so rare around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conservative man here. I've had many relationships where I never revealed my politics and just went along with her views. They never had a clue. It's a thing we do for sure but only with women who never ask and just assume which is nearly all of them.

You must be old. The younger generation will find out if they want to know and they don't need to ask to do it. They also don't have any problem with flat out discussing political views.

They don't find out and I can hold my own in any political conversation although those conversations are rare in my dating experience. It's more just comments about political issues where I mostly nod my head. Also, I will agree on a lot of points. It's not like I align 100% with every right-wing talking point or view. Not at all.

[Anonymous]

I think you can stop calling him your boyfriend now. What a jerk!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:End the relationship
Your political views don’t align.

Anti semitism and misogyny aren't political views.

Sadly, they are. Yes, they are more than that, but these personal, immoral biases have also crawled back into the policy arena out the pits of hell where they should have stayed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a vent post. When I first met my boyfriend he came off as a pretty nice guy, very well read, open-minded and intelligent. He mentioned being a feminist in our early dating and espoused views about equality (this was all unprompted).

Now that we’ve settled into the relationship he has started trying to get me to listen to various podcasts he’s into. I don’t listen to podcasts and never really knew who these people were. Well after listening more they are saying some very anti-woman stuff, and my boyfriend has started complaining about how feminism and women working has ruined our society. He also has started saying super anti-Jewish stuff. Um WTF?! He is entitled to his opinions, but he clearly deceived me on his views.

I decided im done. But i’m pissed that he wasted my time.

Cool story.

Yeah I don't get it either I mean Democrats voted for a Democratic socialist New York City that is anti-Jewish and stay at home moms are praised on this forum because most of them are rich stay-at-home moms liberal moms so I guess I don't comprende

[Anonymous]

If anyone is willing to actively lie about basic views (that are important to a lot of people), that person is an unscrupulous liar and you don’t want to be with him - whether the views are politics or marriage/kids or really anything else. I’d say the same if he pretended to be conservative but is secretly a socialist or if he said he wanted a SAHM but secretly wanted his wife to he a working mom or whatever else. Run!