Do you get upset when your kids get Bs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this - a thing? I was just out to lunch with some women I'm volunteering with through my kid's (public) high school, and two of the moms said they make their kids ask for a re-take if their kids get Bs on an assignment.
Um....

If they worked hard and tried their best? No.
If they did the minimum, I'll point that out.
Asking for re-takes? Who's school gets to do that? We're at a private and no re-takes. You get what you get and you don't get upset.

[Anonymous]

No, otherwise I would have been in a perpetual state of upset.

[Anonymous]

Yes a B is unacceptable in our home. Nobody cared what grades I got growing up and I would have liked someone caring.

[Anonymous]

I actually took my son out of public school and moved him to a Catholic school because he was getting straight As but not doing A work. So I paid money for him to not get all As. Public schools have pretty low expectations these days.

[Anonymous]

No. My kid has some EF challenges and was super tough as a younger kid. Now he’s a responsible teen who excels sometimes and occasionally gets a C on the report card. He’s got like a 3.2. Mix of Honors and not Honors classes. Good enough for the non state flagship.

[Anonymous]

Yes, because it means they didn’t study enough or didn’t stay on top of assignments enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sadly Bs can derail college chances. It’s not just admissions but merit aid too. With the economy in the dumpster and the price of college so high, competition for in state is crazy. Along with competition for scholarships and merit aid.

If retakes are allowed, many of the other kids with Bs are doing a retake. Your kid would end up being toward the bottom for not taking advantage of the retake option.

It’s a horrible environment for kids and very different than when we were in high school.

This very much depends on where your child goes to college. Mine isn't going to go Harvard or even UVA, so a mix of As and Bs is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sadly Bs can derail college chances. It’s not just admissions but merit aid too. With the economy in the dumpster and the price of college so high, competition for in state is crazy. Along with competition for scholarships and merit aid.

If retakes are allowed, many of the other kids with Bs are doing a retake. Your kid would end up being toward the bottom for not taking advantage of the retake option.

It’s a horrible environment for kids and very different than when we were in high school.

That is depressing.

Tons of colleges take kids with Bs, and offer merit aid, but maybe those are not desirable schools to the people on this forum.

[Anonymous]

no

[Anonymous]

yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do get upset with her sometimes because I know what she has been doing with her time, and it's not studying for the upcoming test.

This. I don't care so much about the grade. I care about the effort. Tried your best and got a "B"? Awesome! Slacked and got a "B"? Disappointing; you're smarter than that, and you know better than to goof off in class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this - a thing? I was just out to lunch with some women I'm volunteering with through my kid's (public) high school, and two of the moms said they make their kids ask for a re-take if their kids get Bs on an assignment.
Um....

I don't make my kids do retakes for B grades. For a C, sure. B is fine, though it may indicate some study skills deficits or attention issues. A few Bs don't usually preclude a kid from pulling a (lower) A in the class.

I get upset AF when my kids miss work completely, especially if I get a note from the teacher about it. That's total bs.

[Anonymous]

Bear in mind, OP, that most of the parents posting haven't gone through college applications yet. Maybe their glasses are more rose-tinted than they should be.

My oldest is a junior in college and my second is in 10th grade. I've got my oldest's experience, as well as those of his friends, to rely upon: essentially, for college, straight As are expected in the hardest courses kids can manage. I was told this for my oldest, and it verified when college decisions were handed down. My second knows that this is how it works.

My kids are Asians, and have no hooks (athletic scholarships, parent alumni, large donations), so they need stellar academics, well-written essays and interesting extra-curriculars to be eligible for second tier colleges. Top-tier, ie, Ivy and assimilated, are a lottery and should never be an expectation.

This is how it is these days. Anyone who wants the play the game should better know the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because when my kid gets a B, it's for issues that we are trying to improve before college, like not checking their work, or rushing through an assignment.

This. If it were due to not fully understanding the work and trying their hardest it’s fine. More often than not for us, it’s what’s detailed above.

This. And if a retake is offered, and you didn’t get an A, of course you take it. Not only is it an opportunity to improve your grade but it’s improving their understanding of the material.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because when my kid gets a B, it's for issues that we are trying to improve before college, like not checking their work, or rushing through an assignment.

This. If it were due to not fully understanding the work and trying their hardest it’s fine. More often than not for us, it’s what’s detailed above.

This. And if a retake is offered, and you didn’t get an A, of course you take it. Not only is it an opportunity to improve your grade but it’s improving their understanding of the material.

A retake at least in my kid’s school can only get you upto an 80. So no retakes of B’s. It’s really a policy designed to make sure nobody fails not that B students become A students.