Picked DH Up From DCA- Boys Weekend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this where we pretend like women don't hook up on ladies weekend trips?

Women most certainly cheat as much as men, but they don't do it with witnesses around. They hook up with colleagues on travel or fake a work trip and have a getaway weekend with exes. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that there's now at least one poor wife in that circle who got cheated on and everyone knows it except her. To me, if I were you, OP, that would be intolerable.

The wife knows, she may be in denial or not care, but she knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s sad but it also doesn’t surprise me.

I would be concerned about your DH because your own character can start to resemble those you hang around. I know this first hand — immediately after my divorce, I was surrounded by other men who encouraged me to sleep with as many women as possible. They were all living vicariously through me. This time period in my life was very confusing when I look back on it now. It fueled a lot of unhealthy personal behaviors and I ended up emotionally hurting a lot of women too. While I was ultimately responsible for my own actions, having these men laugh, joke, and externally validate me through talking crudely about what I was doing was definitely part of the problem.

Fast-forward to now — after having an extremely unexpected born-again experience in my early 40s — I now find myself surrounded by true friends, men and women at my church who are virtuous and have strong character. They aren’t perfect — none of us are — but these are the type of people who bring out the best in me. They do the right thing more times than not. They encourage strong character and help hold me accountable when I need that too. It’s a world of difference. I also work closely with with an executive coach who actively encourages me to be a better person and wants me to have strong character instead of like most shrinks who just tell you that whatever feeling or impulse you have should be acted upon.

I would never want to go back to hanging out with the first group now. I look back on it with some true level of horror. I hope that your DH finds a better set of friends who truly respect women, for his own sake.

I mean, guy who is into this scene of cheating and horrible ethics, and then ends up doubled down on religion. That completely tracks. The truly good guys are neither in the cheater nor religious groups. Guys who end up deeply religious have some serious failings from which they need to be saved.

Yeah it kind of seems like a cop-out. Party hard, then find religion and all is forgiven. THen it's just a matter of timing, like once you hit your 50s and libido is down, then time to settle down and find religion too.

Kind of like born-again virgins that some women claim to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that there's now at least one poor wife in that circle who got cheated on and everyone knows it except her. To me, if I were you, OP, that would be intolerable.

The wife knows, she may be in denial or not care, but she knows.

I would not be so sure. I've had plenty of my guy friends cheat and their wives know nothing. These are educated white collar DC professionals. Some coach youth sports. You'd think they were decent dudes otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this where we pretend like women don't hook up on ladies weekend trips?

Women most certainly cheat as much as men, but they don't do it with witnesses around. They hook up with colleagues on travel or fake a work trip and have a getaway weekend with exes. Ask me how I know.

Yes they do! Ask me how I know!

[Anonymous]

I’ve done half a dozen guys golf trips over the years and never saw this happen. After walking 36 holes and a few beers no one has the energy to pick up women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this shock you? It’s not uncommon.

I couldn’t tolerate that from my partner. I’d have to consider divorce, if they continue to hang out with idiots.

[Anonymous]

Do you have Meredith's number? Asking for a friend who has a golf trip planned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this where we pretend like women don't hook up on ladies weekend trips?

Women most certainly cheat as much as men, but they don't do it with witnesses around. They hook up with colleagues on travel or fake a work trip and have a getaway weekend with exes. Ask me how I know.

How do you know?

[Anonymous]

I would make sure your partner has a safe space to confide in- so he keeps telling you these things - rather than clamps down. The fact that he is telling you would lead me to believe that he is not hiding something from you.

My DH also goes on guys trips and there is one guy who is notorious -- I hear a lot about it -- and understand the wow-wow-wow reply of the behaving husbands.

This stuff happens - just be glad it's not your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this where we pretend like women don't hook up on ladies weekend trips?

Women most certainly cheat as much as men, but they don't do it with witnesses around. They hook up with colleagues on travel or fake a work trip and have a getaway weekend with exes. Ask me how I know.

How do you know?

1. Because my brother divorced a skank that had a reoccurring 'work trip' to Chicago every three or four months when it was really just two days of her getting smashed by her college ex.
2. I've lost count of the number of times I learned about a colleague's divorce being precipitated by an office affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It happens all the time. I used to work for the largest staffing firm in the area. Same gentleman that started the company owns a local NFL team.

The leadership team used to go to Dewey all the time, hook up with way younger girls and…

Most the guys were married.

Wouldn't most spouses think something strange was up if the "leadership team" of a company is going to Dewey Beach for anything (unless, maybe your company owns a bunch of hotels in Dewey Beach)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this where we pretend like women don't hook up on ladies weekend trips?

Women most certainly cheat as much as men, but they don't do it with witnesses around. They hook up with colleagues on travel or fake a work trip and have a getaway weekend with exes. Ask me how I know.

How do you know?

1. Because my brother divorced a skank that had a reoccurring 'work trip' to Chicago every three or four months when it was really just two days of her getting smashed by her college ex.
2. I've lost count of the number of times I learned about a colleague's divorce being precipitated by an office affair.

Work trip is not the same as a girl's trip. Women will absolutely do it in front of others and brag about it. I have seen it happen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two out of the six men cheated. This tracks with the percentage of cheating IRL. Nothing surprising here.

This might be true, but in my (admittedly limited) experience it's more likely that 1/3 of friend groups have mostly cheaters and 2/3 have one or none, not that every friend group has exactly the statistical percentage of cheaters in it. Water finds its own level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this where we pretend like women don't hook up on ladies weekend trips?

Women most certainly cheat as much as men, but they don't do it with witnesses around. They hook up with colleagues on travel or fake a work trip and have a getaway weekend with exes. Ask me how I know.

How do you know?

1. Because my brother divorced a skank that had a reoccurring 'work trip' to Chicago every three or four months when it was really just two days of her getting smashed by her college ex.
2. I've lost count of the number of times I learned about a colleague's divorce being precipitated by an office affair.

Work trip is not the same as a girl's trip. Women will absolutely do it in front of others and brag about it. I have seen it happen

You must hang out with unashamed low lifes. None of my friends would dare cheat or do so in front of others.