What have you realized is not normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relating at all to people on the spectrum. I thought it was normal.

I am not autistic, and if I’m on the spectrum, I am super hf. I just don’t claim it or want to self diagnose (a popular thing to do). I’ve met with therapists in my lifetime that would have suggested testing if they thought so.

But recently I admitted to a group about relating to specific aspects, and no one could say the same. I trust these friends to just say so if it were true. They’re not afraid to say what’s on their mind.

I relate..they don’t. So, maybe I am on the spectrum a tiny bit.

I'm the ADHD poster. I have an autistic husband and son. I am good at conversing with them and managing them because I can take on the additional socio-emotional burden and meet them more than halfway. They are not good at understanding each other, though. If you relate to autistic people, I think it might mean that you're the opposite, and have extra reserves of social acuity. Is that what you mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe everyone is on A spectrum? We each are on our own damn spectrum. What is "normal" anyways? Nobody is "normal."

This^. Its abnormal to try to define normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will give an example. I eat three meals a day. Breakfast, a decent sized lunch, smaller dinner. I traveled with a friend recently who only eats two meals a day. Dinner only sometimes. Does the average American not eat three meals a day anymore?

I always thought every family who can afford fruits, eats all sort of fruits. It turned out a big percentage doesn't and ones who do, usually only eat basic fruits like banana, apple, watermelon etc.

What other fruits are you eating on the regular? We do berries, oranges and bananas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently not everyone has stories and/or music running non-stop in the background of their brain. Sometimes in the foreground.

Yes, I know I have ADHD. Still, I expected non-ADHD people to have something, some sort of inner adventure happening. But no?

Non ADHD folks have things such as music too. They just aren't admitting it. Who doesn't sing in the shower? Please.

PP you replied to. I never sing in the shower, actually. I meant inside your brain, not spoken out loud, do you have original conversations or entire movie plots going on while you go about your day? Background story means you can still focus on your other stuff, and foreground story means it's taken center stage and you're not being productive.

Different poster, not the one asking re: foreground and background. everyone has stories, conversations, songs up in there. It's wondeful isn't it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently not everyone has stories and/or music running non-stop in the background of their brain. Sometimes in the foreground.

Yes, I know I have ADHD. Still, I expected non-ADHD people to have something, some sort of inner adventure happening. But no?

Non ADHD folks have things such as music too. They just aren't admitting it. Who doesn't sing in the shower? Please.

PP you replied to. I never sing in the shower, actually. I meant inside your brain, not spoken out loud, do you have original conversations or entire movie plots going on while you go about your day? Background story means you can still focus on your other stuff, and foreground story means it's taken center stage and you're not being productive.

Different poster, not the one asking re: foreground and background. everyone has stories, conversations, songs up in there. It's wondeful isn't it?

Another DP- i think part of the qwustion is how often is this happening? It seems as if the original person has a constant flow of background noise. But you know the expression "that just popped into my head" that indicates that that person may not have a constant flow, there is silence too. I wonder how that person reads or watches TV with a constant flow of sound in their brains?

[Anonymous]

Not enjoying violent films/ TV shows/ computer games.

We went to a movie recently that was very highly rated on Rotten Tomatoes and billed as a comedy. The many trailers leading up to it were nauseating to DH and me: The movie itself was so violent that we had to walk out.

Seems as though gratuitous violence is the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently not everyone has stories and/or music running non-stop in the background of their brain. Sometimes in the foreground.

Yes, I know I have ADHD. Still, I expected non-ADHD people to have something, some sort of inner adventure happening. But no?

Non ADHD folks have things such as music too. They just aren't admitting it. Who doesn't sing in the shower? Please.

PP you replied to. I never sing in the shower, actually. I meant inside your brain, not spoken out loud, do you have original conversations or entire movie plots going on while you go about your day? Background story means you can still focus on your other stuff, and foreground story means it's taken center stage and you're not being productive.

If by plot you mean "Did I do XYZ", "Is that a stick or snake", "Why did the neighbor put her cans in front of our property line" "Who is moving in to the house they just built" then...yes?!

Ha ha. No, I meant stories you create, complete with characters and plot and episodes/chapters, and final denouement. The characters go on adventures and there's drama and excitement. I suppose other ADHD people may have different types of stories... I was very good at make-believe when I was a kid and playing make-believe with my kids when they were little

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently not everyone has stories and/or music running non-stop in the background of their brain. Sometimes in the foreground.

Yes, I know I have ADHD. Still, I expected non-ADHD people to have something, some sort of inner adventure happening. But no?

Non ADHD folks have things such as music too. They just aren't admitting it. Who doesn't sing in the shower? Please.

PP you replied to. I never sing in the shower, actually. I meant inside your brain, not spoken out loud, do you have original conversations or entire movie plots going on while you go about your day? Background story means you can still focus on your other stuff, and foreground story means it's taken center stage and you're not being productive.

If by plot you mean "Did I do XYZ", "Is that a stick or snake", "Why did the neighbor put her cans in front of our property line" "Who is moving in to the house they just built" then...yes?!

Ha ha. No, I meant stories you create, complete with characters and plot and episodes/chapters, and final denouement. The characters go on adventures and there's drama and excitement. I suppose other ADHD people may have different types of stories... I was very good at make-believe when I was a kid and playing make-believe with my kids when they were little

No but I really hope you document these! You sound like an artist!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will give an example. I eat three meals a day. Breakfast, a decent sized lunch, smaller dinner. I traveled with a friend recently who only eats two meals a day. Dinner only sometimes. Does the average American not eat three meals a day anymore?

She has an eating disorder

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will give an example. I eat three meals a day. Breakfast, a decent sized lunch, smaller dinner. I traveled with a friend recently who only eats two meals a day. Dinner only sometimes. Does the average American not eat three meals a day anymore?

She has an eating disorder

Eh, I think that's a reach. Since I reached perimenopause, I have 2 good sized meals and one snack. Plus a dessert. I just get more full than I used to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently not everyone has stories and/or music running non-stop in the background of their brain. Sometimes in the foreground.

Yes, I know I have ADHD. Still, I expected non-ADHD people to have something, some sort of inner adventure happening. But no?

I have to admit that I have no idea what you mean by background vs foreground of your brain.

Non-ADHD person here and I know exactly what they mean. I wasn't actively thinking about or hearing a song, but as soon as I read the post above it was like turning up the volume, tuning into the chorus of a song i was playing in the car earlier. Becoming aware brought it from the background to the foreground.

So I don't think this is an ADHD thing specifically, probably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will give an example. I eat three meals a day. Breakfast, a decent sized lunch, smaller dinner. I traveled with a friend recently who only eats two meals a day. Dinner only sometimes. Does the average American not eat three meals a day anymore?

She has an eating disorder

Are you the OP telling posters that the friend with whom you traveled has an ED? Many people eat less than three meals. Some graze. Others don't burn calories don't need to intake as much. All type of food consumers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will give an example. I eat three meals a day. Breakfast, a decent sized lunch, smaller dinner. I traveled with a friend recently who only eats two meals a day. Dinner only sometimes. Does the average American not eat three meals a day anymore?

I always thought every family who can afford fruits, eats all sort of fruits. It turned out a big percentage doesn't and ones who do, usually only eat basic fruits like banana, apple, watermelon etc.

When I met my future H and we started living together I introduced buying fruits on the regular and I only learned maybe a year later that they never did it in his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe everyone is on A spectrum? We each are on our own damn spectrum. What is "normal" anyways? Nobody is "normal."

This^. Its abnormal to try to define normal.

Agreed. I get really annoyed by people defining "neurotypical" basically as "finds everything I struggle with easy and natural." I WISH! But no, I am not a robot who is always energetic and productive even when bored silly, nor am I always perfectly socially skilled because I understand all cues and the perfect responses, nor can I ever find my keys, and I only seem organized because I've developed good systems to manage my disorganization at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned that a friend’s in-laws expect to keep/sleep with the bedroom doors wide open on visits to grandparents. Kids, adults-everyone. That’s not normal!

That's also a huge fire hazard. When asleep, bedroom doors should be closed.