DH turned his emotional abuse and screaming on DD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a perfect example of how it is always better to separate/divorce when a marriage is bad - - most especially when children live in the home.

Because sooner or later things affect the kids.
Always.

OP >> plz do not be so hard on yourself. ❤️‍🩹
You are not a bad Mom.
It is entirely your husband’s fault that your husband treated your daughter this way!

Is there any way that you can get him to leave the home so you & your DD can resume life w/o his abuse??

Well- I left my abusive ex in 2018 and now that my daughter is a teen he turned his abuse to her (not my sons). Though I have primary custody he screamed terrible things at her and told her to “go live with mom” then didn’t speak to her for months. I had to go pick up a crying sad scared 16 year old.

So- let’s continue to blame the abusers not the women who are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.

OP and I’m sorry about your DD. Can you think of any advice for me to watch out for under the assumption that DD will have to spend time with DH in the future? She is 10, so she is old enough that she is fully aware of what happened last night and very upset and scared. DH doesn’t seem to get it and texted like “why can’t she spend the weekend with me? This is between us so if we have to be apart why do you get her?”. He doesn’t get it, and doesn’t see that he terrified her last night.

I feel like I am going crazy reading that.

For the others: dog is safe and happy with us and headed to camp with his friends this afternoon.

[Anonymous]

This dog of yours should not be your main concern.

[Anonymous]

What’s up with the dog comments? Clearly OP and her daughter love their dog, geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP forget about the dog. The priority in this situation is your kid.

+1000, the fact that the dog is even factoring into your equation right now really makes me question your priorities as a mother.

[Anonymous]

Please stop saying people are mentally ill. Especially if you’re using it like a weapon.

It sounds like he has an anger problem and you have an unhealthy communication style in your marriage. Or, he’s been diagnosed as a depressive or has an anxiety disorder or is schizophrenic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s up with the dog comments? Clearly OP and her daughter love their dog, geez.

I love my dog too, but I would kill it myself with my bare hands, if that’s what it took, over keeping my daughter trapped in an abusive situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please stop saying people are mentally ill. Especially if you’re using it like a weapon.

It sounds like he has an anger problem and you have an unhealthy communication style in your marriage. Or, he’s been diagnosed as a depressive or has an anxiety disorder or is schizophrenic.

He’s been diagnosed with adhd and depression and anxiety and has prescriptions for both. He does not take his prescriptions except for 2x/day Ritalin. He throws the other meds away because he says everyone is lying about his mental illness and that medication for mental illness isn’t real and if I ask him to take it, he says I’m not a doctor and it’s none of my business.

I only found out recently about some of the stuff that runs in the family, including depression, early dementia, and a sibling in and out of unsuccessful treatment/support for borderline personality disorder. I think that all of these things are intertwined with how he grew up and how his brain works, but I don’t know if it can be unraveled or improved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please stop saying people are mentally ill. Especially if you’re using it like a weapon.

It sounds like he has an anger problem and you have an unhealthy communication style in your marriage. Or, he’s been diagnosed as a depressive or has an anxiety disorder or is schizophrenic.

He’s been diagnosed with adhd and depression and anxiety and has prescriptions for both. He does not take his prescriptions except for 2x/day Ritalin. He throws the other meds away because he says everyone is lying about his mental illness and that medication for mental illness isn’t real and if I ask him to take it, he says I’m not a doctor and it’s none of my business.

I only found out recently about some of the stuff that runs in the family, including depression, early dementia, and a sibling in and out of unsuccessful treatment/support for borderline personality disorder. I think that all of these things are intertwined with how he grew up and how his brain works, but I don’t know if it can be unraveled or improved.

And?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s up with the dog comments? Clearly OP and her daughter love their dog, geez.

I love my dog too, but I would kill it myself with my bare hands, if that’s what it took, over keeping my daughter trapped in an abusive situation.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

You are the problem here. You're making excuses for not leaving. Stop making excuses. It's time.

[Anonymous]

Men really love their daughters. Even men who abuse their wives tend to not show the same disgusting behavior towards their daughters.

I'm sorry OP, but you and your daughter deserve better. Don't stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are the problem here. You're making excuses for not leaving. Stop making excuses. It's time.

No matter what a woman does, the blame always comes back to her- even the abuse is because she is the problem? Thank you for making sure every thread has a proper dose of misogyny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s up with the dog comments? Clearly OP and her daughter love their dog, geez.

+1

The last thing OP's daughter needs now is for the dog to go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please stop saying people are mentally ill. Especially if you’re using it like a weapon.

It sounds like he has an anger problem and you have an unhealthy communication style in your marriage. Or, he’s been diagnosed as a depressive or has an anxiety disorder or is schizophrenic.

He’s been diagnosed with adhd and depression and anxiety and has prescriptions for both. He does not take his prescriptions except for 2x/day Ritalin. He throws the other meds away because he says everyone is lying about his mental illness and that medication for mental illness isn’t real and if I ask him to take it, he says I’m not a doctor and it’s none of my business.

I only found out recently about some of the stuff that runs in the family, including depression, early dementia, and a sibling in and out of unsuccessful treatment/support for borderline personality disorder. I think that all of these things are intertwined with how he grew up and how his brain works, but I don’t know if it can be unraveled or improved.

And?

Not OP, but what is your question? OP is unwilling to live with an abusive husband who refuses to treat his mental illness. What's not to understand about that?

[Anonymous]

You are not the worst mom.

You are the victim of domestic abuse, and may have done mental ill n (or vulnerabilities) yourself for having selected this partner.

Your daughter was being damaged before he turned on her, so this may not be the dramatic development you think it is.

Either way, you need to remove yourselves from this volatile environment . Call a woman’s shelter (in such a way that he is not aware). They will give you advice on how to extract yourself safely. Don’t let on to him or your daughter in advance.

There is a brighter future out there, and you can make it happen for you and your daughter.