Push present

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious about the moms who got nothing from their DH after having a baby: do you get presents from DH at Christmas, on your birthday, on Mother’s Day, etc?

Of course. And I certainly bought things (clothes that fit, physical therapy) after the baby was born with our joint money. But giving birth is not a traditional gift occasion in my culture (American) and feels weird and transactional to me.

[Anonymous]

We are not big gift givers, but DH had a beautiful necklace and earring set commissioned from an artisan I love. It was a delightful surprise.

[Anonymous]

Got a black diamond band to commemorate starting our family. I still wear it (separated) instead of my engagement ring and wedding band. I'm glad I have it, in hindsight.

[Anonymous]

Gold bangle for #1

Diamond earrings for #2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious about the moms who got nothing from their DH after having a baby: do you get presents from DH at Christmas, on your birthday, on Mother’s Day, etc?

My DH is good at gifts when he randomly sees things and thinks I’d like them, but doesn’t do big gifts and doesn’t do occasions. Generally that’s okay but our first was born a few days before my birthday (and was a very challenging birth and post partum). Our 5th wedding anniversary was about a month later and then our 10th dating anniversary. As my first Mother’s Day approached I told him I’d really like jewelry as a keepsake / to remember it. She did nothing. My friend had a baby around the same time and amazingly thought to give me a necklace with my first daughter’s birthstone and initial. When our 2nd was born my husband at least thought to add to it. She was born the week of our 10th wedding anniversary so a gift made sense in that context too. I’m not a big fan of the idea of a “push present” but I do appreciate marking special occasions. My great grandmother had a gold bangle with 5 diamonds - one for each of her children. She let my grandmother (her 5th child) teethe on it and it has all these little tiny dents. I find those dents such an amazing connection to my grandmother. I inherited the bracelet but my mom has it / wears it.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t ask for one but my husband got me a a necklace with my daughter’s birthstone. I had no idea it was coming. I think his friends told him to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious about the moms who got nothing from their DH after having a baby: do you get presents from DH at Christmas, on your birthday, on Mother’s Day, etc?

My DH is good at gifts when he randomly sees things and thinks I’d like them, but doesn’t do big gifts and doesn’t do occasions. Generally that’s okay but our first was born a few days before my birthday (and was a very challenging birth and post partum). Our 5th wedding anniversary was about a month later and then our 10th dating anniversary. As my first Mother’s Day approached I told him I’d really like jewelry as a keepsake / to remember it. She did nothing. My friend had a baby around the same time and amazingly thought to give me a necklace with my first daughter’s birthstone and initial. When our 2nd was born my husband at least thought to add to it. She was born the week of our 10th wedding anniversary so a gift made sense in that context too. I’m not a big fan of the idea of a “push present” but I do appreciate marking special occasions. My great grandmother had a gold bangle with 5 diamonds - one for each of her children. She let my grandmother (her 5th child) teethe on it and it has all these little tiny dents. I find those dents such an amazing connection to my grandmother. I inherited the bracelet but my mom has it / wears it.

My dh is the opposite. We rarely give each other gifts, especially not randomly (unless you count chocolates and such). We aren’t into birthday or Christmas gifts. But he did get my diamond studs on the morning of our wedding, a watch when my first was born and a Diamond pendant when my 2nd was born. I treasure them all and wear them daily.

[Anonymous]

I hate the name so much I wouldn’t want one.

We paid for 6 months of night doula. That’s the “gift” I wanted.

[Anonymous]

No, I think it's something that only wealthy white people do. At least, I've never heard of it done by none country club types.

If my DH had spent a ton of money on jewelry when the kids were born, I'd have been pissed - especially with so many childcare bills around the corner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I think it's something that only wealthy white people do. At least, I've never heard of it done by none country club types.

If my DH had spent a ton of money on jewelry when the kids were born, I'd have been pissed - especially with so many childcare bills around the corner.

I feel the same- would rather spend the money on all the diapers, wipes, aquaphor, 5 extra sets of pump parts, etc to care for kid while exclusively pumping than on jewelry.

[Anonymous]

Diamond earrings for #1, diamond bracelet for #2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I think it's something that only wealthy white people do. At least, I've never heard of it done by none country club types.

If my DH had spent a ton of money on jewelry when the kids were born, I'd have been pissed - especially with so many childcare bills around the corner.

I don’t know any wealthy people who do this. I think they’d view it as tacky. More like middle or upper middle class strivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I think it's something that only wealthy white people do. At least, I've never heard of it done by none country club types.

If my DH had spent a ton of money on jewelry when the kids were born, I'd have been pissed - especially with so many childcare bills around the corner.

I feel the same- would rather spend the money on all the diapers, wipes, aquaphor, 5 extra sets of pump parts, etc to care for kid while exclusively pumping than on jewelry.

o

It doesn’t have to be diamonds. I wrote earlier that I did laser hair removal on my legs. Get creative.

[Anonymous]

My pregnancies are hard and take a toll on my body. I’m in PT for months after. I definitely gift myself something nice. I’m not into jewelry. I prefer some kind of self care package. I was in diapers during my last pregnancy because I couldn’t make it to the bathroom on on time. My hips would get stuck in the middle of the walk to bathroom. I don’t care if you had an easy pregnancy. Gifts for all 😂

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's always tacky - a special piece of jewelry with the kid's birthstone or something that's a tradition in the family could be a nice memento.

That said, no, we don't do this in my family. My "push present" last time was DH running to Burger Tap and Shake to bring me back a delicious hamburger, fries and milkshake. #rip