Freshman year at college is over for most...what did you learn?

[Anonymous]

I observed that my dd had absolutely no real study skills or that what worked in high school didn’t work in college and that with effort, she could pivot and figure it out (which was my college experience too.)

I saw my dd mature in so many ways: she set goals and met them, learned to laundry on a schedule, learned to share a room, ate at least one well balanced meal a day, drank water, got exercise regularly, made her own doctor’s appointments and so many little life things.

As for my husband and I, it took us until second semester to mesh without her and that we’d be ok with just the 2 of us.

Also learned that even though we have a college fund set aside for tuition, fees, housing, etc., there are so many other costs that I might not have thought through. Like while I planned for the cost of study abroad, I didn’t plan for all the side trips and concerts and clothes. Also, it never occurred to me that there would be formals for this and that or late night pizza deliveries. Or the thought of law school or real grad school ahead. So I need to keep saving for school costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our relatives learned that sorority membership at a large Southern public university is expensive and materialistic. Also discovered that the school year isn't really divided by semesters or by quarters, but by formals.

But… but… everyone is pretty and the weather is perfect all the time!

[Anonymous]

Vet Mom tip: toss out the mattress cover.

Donate what you can BACK to the campus for incoming freshman - many colleges collect (unopened) toiletries, cleaning and school supplies and typical freshman year dorm necessities (bed risers, fans, mini fridges, plastic drawers) to give to next year’s incoming freshman in need.

- JMU does this. We brought very little back home and DC moved off campus after freshman year.

[Anonymous]

Sorry. Im the OP. Yuck meant cleaning out my sons dorm. It wasn't pleasant.

If it wasn't clear, I have learned to trust my kid. I wasn't sure about him picking a big state school over more prestigious colleges. I was wrong.Ive learned to trust my son and make his own decisions even if I think differently. I'm proud of him!

[Anonymous]

I have a HS Freshman and honestly this thread is making me tear up realizing that DS has only had his haircut by one lovely woman his entire life since he was 12 months old, and in just three years he'll have his last pre-college haircut.

I am glad you all had good years.

[Anonymous]

DS is in Finals week and is very stressed. He realized he's going to get a C in one class even if he gets an A on the exam and is feeling very bad about it. I told him what's done is done and he'll do better next year.

Next weekend he'll be home. He doesn't have an internship lined up either. I hope he can find a summer job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is in Finals week and is very stressed. He realized he's going to get a C in one class even if he gets an A on the exam and is feeling very bad about it. I told him what's done is done and he'll do better next year.

Next weekend he'll be home. He doesn't have an internship lined up either. I hope he can find a summer job.

Oh and what did I learn? How to miss my son constructively? My young teen DD coached me through it.

I'm sure my son learned a lot in his first year away from home, but that will probably become clear later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS doing well at a large, instate flagship. Turned down smaller, private colleges (which would have been my choice ). I’m so happy and proud that he successfully navigated a huge school, advocated for himself, made friends, joined clubs and doing well academically. Enjoy having your kids home this summer, everyone! He (we) doesn’t feel the pressure of having an internship yet, not looking forward to that!

Same here. DD navigated large state university after turning down smaller privates. But joined several clubs and grew so much!

[Anonymous]

DS is at W&M and I'm not sure what I learned but he really learned that the study skills and writing that get you good grades in HS are nowhere near the level needed to do well in college. He has received so much detailed and high quality feedback on his writing--not on mechanics which he learned mainly just fine in K-12--but on how well his claims are supported by research literature, the overall logic of his argument and the value of his intellectual contribution. He says in high school he learned to perform the characteristics of good work but in college he's needing to actually do good work. And that even if you work hard, it's not easy and you may not get an A. But, wow, has he grown intellectually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our relatives learned that sorority membership at a large Southern public university is expensive and materialistic. Also discovered that the school year isn't really divided by semesters or by quarters, but by formals.

But… but… everyone is pretty and the weather is perfect all the time!

True and true.

Also, the members of the sorority study a lot as student GPAs are a serious matter house by house.

[Anonymous]

We were so excited for our DC to go to college and blossom. They’ve always been a good student, but really needed the space to grow and connect socially. Except that didn’t happen. On paper they did some of the right things but have ended the school year in a mild depression and saying they didn’t make a single friend. It’s super sad and they aren’t sure they want to go back.

So I’m learning to be flexible and that their college path might not be the straight four years we’d expected it to be.

[Anonymous]

I learned that my AuDHD kid is far more capable than I thought. Social interaction is still a struggle but they survived dorm life with a roommate, got decent grades, and independently registered for classes and arranged housing for next year. I wish they had made close friends but the kid doesn’t seem bothered by not having them. Seems happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned that my AuDHD kid is far more capable than I thought. Social interaction is still a struggle but they survived dorm life with a roommate, got decent grades, and independently registered for classes and arranged housing for next year. I wish they had made close friends but the kid doesn’t seem bothered by not having them. Seems happy.

This made me happy to read. Congrats to your kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned that my AuDHD kid is far more capable than I thought. Social interaction is still a struggle but they survived dorm life with a roommate, got decent grades, and independently registered for classes and arranged housing for next year. I wish they had made close friends but the kid doesn’t seem bothered by not having them. Seems happy.

Can I ask which school (or at least which type of school?—SLAC, big state school, etc.)—I have a kid like this starting college in the fall.

[Anonymous]

Although I never visited the school, didn’t help with selecting courses or daily decisions or any chores at all, called DC no more than once a week after the first month, DC is very busy, happy and healthy in college. I learned top SLAC is the best fit for a kid who is very smart, can work hard, is more collaborative than competitive, is well rounded, and needs guidance in majors.