Your poor spouse. |
I have also had crushes. They seem to pass faster when I fantasize about that person when making love to my husband |
How long did it last and how did it end? |
I find it easier when I get to know my crush a bit better rather than putting them on a pedestal. The flaws start to appear and I'm more in touch with reality.
You're not a bad person for having a crush. At the end of the day, cheating is a choice. You always have agency. If you are ever unsure of how to behave or whether you are crossing the line in what you say, act as if your spouse is right next to you. |
Buy yourself The Rose. DH bought one for me and it’s a game changer!
https://www.bboutique.co/sex-toys/womens-vibrators/clit-suction-vibrators/the-rose-8272686645493 |
Yeah. Men are much likelier to file for divorce. |
Not a commentary on PP's story, but this is not correct. Women are much more likely to file for divorce -- nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. |
I think pp means in the event of cheating but I disagree with that point. I think a lot of men stay with cheating wives but they just keep quiet about the whole thing because it’s so emasculating. |
Yep, more women file for divorce. And agree on 2nd point also. |
Yeah I'm with you. I think I've seen studies that say men and women cheat at about the same rate, but women still file for divorce much more often. I think there's a lot involved into why that would be the case, but agree that men are probably less likely to divorce a spouse after cheating. Thinking about my own marriage, I think if I cheated (not planning on it, to be clear), my DH would (1) not want to know, and (2) if he found out, would look for a way to simply pretend it had not happened. I don't know if he would succeed in that, and I assume it would cause a lot of strife in our relationship, but I don't think he'd file for divorce unless I basically made him. I don't think he'd ever end our relationship willingly. He gets a lot out of it outside of sex or even monogamy, and I think he'd be terrified of being on his own. Meanwhile, if he cheated, I do think I'd try to make it work because I hate the idea of breaking up our family, but I'd probably be quicker to pull the trigger on divorce if I felt he wasn't doing whatever I needed him to do to move forward. I think my standards for repair after cheating would be much higher than his would be because I think I'd be more okay in divorce than he would be. I don't want to get divorced, but I don't think it scares me as much as it does him. |
Women file overall for divorce, but when women cheat it’s always the men that file. |
+1 |
OP, I could have written your post! I have a total crush on a man in my social circle AND I'm very happily married. I don't think it's all that unusual - sexual attraction necessarily fades over time to your spouse, so someone new and different will always seem exciting. It's just not a fair fight. I let myself enjoy the fantasy of the other guy and remind myself that I would never go through with it because I value my life and my family too much. Don't beat yourself up! |
And this is based on....? I looked for statistics on this and I don't think there are any. I'm guessing you are basing it on anecdata but it doesn't ring true to me. |
My DH did not file for divorce when I cheated. |