Dating a Busy Man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I a currently in a relationship with a man who has a demanding career and a son he spends time with. I also have kids and it makes it very difficult to see each other. Everytime we make plans, something comes up - his son gets sick, he has to work, he has a repair person over his house etc. It really seems like we just don't have time to see each other. I am curious if anyone else has experienced this and what did you decide to do. I think our timing is off and we should end the relationship. I do like him and enjoy spending time with and certainly see a future but I think it is impossible for us to build any connection if we barely see each other and talk on the phone about 4 times a week.

He has his priorities. His child, source to make a living and place to live come before random women he is dating. Once he finds someone who matters, he may try to find a better balance.

You should be asking yourself how you've so much free time as a single parent, bread winner and home manager?

[Anonymous]

I’m in a relationship like OPs and I just accept it for what it is. It’s really become a FWB relationship and the sex is so good I’m not going to rock the boat. I too don’t have the time to be in an intense relationship so this will have to do until I’m an empty nester in two years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks this is exactly what I am thinking. The odd part is I didnt want the relationship in the first place, he DID! I just wanted to be FWB.

It sounds like that's what you have. What you describe isn't a "relationship." You said you were "dating." That's what FWB is.

You get together now and again and bang, right? Then he goes home?

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a smart man who has his priorities straight. He has you for booty calls and a fun time out. Good for him!

[Anonymous]

We do not have a FWB situation if we have agreed to date exclusively. Turns out, he was concerned about the same thing and we are working on it. Thanks for the feedback.

[Anonymous]

You arent in a relationship. There is nothing to end. You are talking to someone on the phone. That's not really a relationship.

Find someone who actually wants to spend time with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a smart man who has his priorities straight. He has you for booty calls and a fun time out. Good for him!

Who knows how his parenting really is. He just follows the court ordered custody schedule.

I’d be curious to know what he actually does with his kid during that time and if he actually stops working, checking his phone or computer or if he hires a sitter or overly relies on screens vs actual 1:1 time with the kid.

Those of us married or coparenting with a true work addict, or who had a parent who was one, knows exactly how “present” they are on vacations or when physically in the home or car.

And no, blasting your conference calls wit a soccer car pool of kids IS bad form. The kids hate that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I a currently in a relationship with a man who has a demanding career and a son he spends time with. I also have kids and it makes it very difficult to see each other. Everytime we make plans, something comes up - his son gets sick, he has to work, he has a repair person over his house etc. It really seems like we just don't have time to see each other. I am curious if anyone else has experienced this and what did you decide to do. I think our timing is off and we should end the relationship. I do like him and enjoy spending time with and certainly see a future but I think it is impossible for us to build any connection if we barely see each other and talk on the phone about 4 times a week.

What are the custody time terms?

What is his general travel and why? (Clients, elective conferences, what?)

Then you’ll know what you’re dealing with.

[Anonymous]

All you need to know is that a guy who wants to spend time with you will move heaven and earth for YOU. A guy who just wants to have fun won’t care much if at all about your schedule or needs, and he’ll just throw out some times to get together on his terms. Proceed accordingly.