Go into the restaurant and eat there. People are not likely to visit you from another table to talk. But a bar is where a lot of lonely people strike up conversations, it's not a place for a "quiet dinner". |
Was her mom implying aunt was jealous or smug? It doesn't make sense that she was either so mom was just talking a bunch of nonsense. Aunt isn't jealous of OPs ring and she wasn't smug b/c she knows OP can afford better, if she wanted. |
Mom was saying don't worry about what other people think. They are dumb and petty. |
Aunt asked a question. Mom interrupted and told daughter what to think before letting her reply on her own. |
And? |
Ok you're opinion on the matter is the only one that is valid here. |
I think aunt is likely making comments about ops ring perhaps behind her back and regularly has opinions on engagement rings and mom was shutting her sister down |
+1 I think mom was shutting down a conversation that could have felt uncomfortable for OP and that could have implied her ring was not “good enough”. While I don’t think all judgement stems from jealousy/smugness I do see what mom was getting at when it comes to superficial stuff like this. Someone criticizing an ering is probably jealous or smug. |
Sure it is. It’s for whatever PP wants it to be. She’s under no obligation to entertain anyone else. When men talk to me at the bar, I respond kindly but briefly. They get the picture. |
Your mom is wise. I think it's the case for me except other instances like some upthread mentioned. I judge rude, catty and mean behavior but don't feel smug as much as disappointed and slightly understanding that it can stem from their upbringing.
I get jealous of women with unlimited energy or physical prowess (doing the splits, backflips) but only judge them positively. It's the judgment of fashion where I think I'm smug while judging (like Queen Elizabeth looking down on wedges, tsk tsk) |
You got an 11K ring because you like rocks and geodes? And it had to be a diamond? You know they actually sell quartz engagement rings, right? I'm not smug. I just don't believe your reasoning. |
Your aunt cares what other people think, your mom doesn’t. I only judge those who don’t use their turn signals. |
OP asked "what do you think". Your opinion doesn't matter to me in the slightest nor is it any more valid. |
Please tell me about this sexist trope. Women judge other women more harshly than men judge women. From junior high to Sunrise Senior Living, women judge their friends and enemies and often act on these judgments by saying and doing horrible things. For all the hand-wringing we read on DCUM about what men say to women, we do not read much about how awful women can be to each other. |
I believe this exchange never happened. Nice try OP.
Also I'm sorry you have such poor relations. |