Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They were both abusive to each other. She however, goaded him into it. I don't think if he were sober he'd abuse anyone.
Everyone is responsible for their own behavior, not the behavior of others. If he abused her, it was because he chose to do so.
This. When people say stuff like "she goaded him into it" I find it unsettling. Can you be goaded into hitting your spouse? Your kids? If I was with someone who baited me that way, I would just leave.
Also, while they both seemed to have been terrible to each other generally, when it comes to physical abuse, it matters that he was bigger and much older. It's just a fact that if you are much more physically dominant, it's worse when you hit the other person. People get hit by their kids all the time and that sucks but people who are not abusers understand-- you can't just retaliate, you can hurt them a lot more than they hurt you. You have to walk away.
Also it's nuts that people are using his substance abuse issues as an excuse. No. If you're a mean drunk or beat your wife when you're on drugs, you're still abusive. It absolves you of nothing.