14y old has been asking for a “Quincenera” (sp?) party since last year (at 13).

[Anonymous]

If by hire you mean do the girls rent the dresses, the answer is usually no. Those puffy gowns are actually not super expensive.

[Anonymous]

Just do a 15th birthday ball

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her it’s cultural appropriation and she won’t be having one.

Uh yeah. I’m Brazilian and girls have been having big parties when turning 15 for ages. We just don’t call it the same.

Right, so you don’t have quinceañeras.

It’s the same thing. Huge ball gown, big party, waltz. But no it wouldn’t be called a quinceañera bc we speak Portuguese. Are you Latina btw? Bc I find that the people who scream cultural appropriate the most are usually American.

It’s not the same as you admit.

And at this point you can take your bigoted self out of here. You can be Hispanic AND American.

Of course you can. I didn’t imply otherwise. You didn’t answer the question.

[Anonymous]

My DD has been to 3 quinces and they were all different. One was both mass and party, this was like a wedding; another just had the party but it was formal, my DD was apart of the birthday girls court (I forgot the special name). The third one was more like a sweet sixteen, a big party with lots of dancing. We are not Hispanic or Latin American so had no idea what to but it seems you can choose whatever format suits you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not your tradition so I think it is inappropriate for you to do so.

It's an American Latina tradition.

It’s not a Brazilian tradition. OP’s daughter is ridiculous.

I’m Brazilian and I think OP is full of it. “Festa de quinze” is a big deal in Brazil. It’s the coming of age milestone year much like sweet 16 in the United States.

Also Brazilian. I’m surprised OP hasn’t heard of them but maybe they weren’t big where she grew up. I’m more amused by the non Brazilians saying it’s cultural appropriation and not a thing in Brazil. It is but I’m sure there are variations within countries in Latin America.
FYI: https://theculturetrip.com/south-america/brazil/articles/a-brief-history-of-the-festa-de-debutantes-in-brazil
https://qbydavinci.com/blog/how-quinceaneras-are-celebrated-around-the-world-a-review/
OP-maybe explore more why your DD is interested in having this type of party? Is it friends? Social media? Then figure out if it’s feasible. Planning wise—I’m
sure you can find info online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her it’s cultural appropriation and she won’t be having one.

Uh yeah. I’m Brazilian and girls have been having big parties when turning 15 for ages. We just don’t call it the same.

Right, so you don’t have quinceañeras.

It’s the same thing. Huge ball gown, big party, waltz. But no it wouldn’t be called a quinceañera bc we speak Portuguese. Are you Latina btw? Bc I find that the people who scream cultural appropriate the most are usually American.

It’s not the same as you admit.

And at this point you can take your bigoted self out of here. You can be Hispanic AND American.

Of course you can. I didn’t imply otherwise. You didn’t answer the question.

Who are you referring to as an American?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If by hire you mean do the girls rent the dresses, the answer is usually no. Those puffy gowns are actually not super expensive.

PP. Yes that is what I meant. My daughters wanted a gown just like that to take photos in. How much do those gowns cost in general?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Mexican American from South Texas. I was in 5-6 of these as a teen and my son and nephews have been in many as escorts to the court of 15 girls who wear matching dresses and do a special dance. (I have never in over 50 years see the kids waltz!) A real quince is different from just a big party. There is a church component to it that includes a Mass and the presentation of rose to la Virgen de Guadalupe. Priests will usually require that the girl be attending weekly Mass, youth ministry activities, and preparing for Confirmation. There are usually Padrinos, which are close family friends who "sponsor" various things that are presented to the girl at either the ceremony or the party afterwards like a rosary, a bible, a crown, a ring, etc... These days I've seen people doing some weird "first high heels" thing and "last doll" thing, which I find to be silly. Mariachis are expected, as is a full dinner, dancing, and a cake with 15 little dolls on it.

+1. Also Mexican American. Same experience. An actual Quince is not just a big, fancy dance, even if there is variation.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t think it would be a huge issue in theory to have one since you’re Latina but the issue is since you’re not from a country that does these you and your daughter aren’t embedded in the culture in a way that will create a real quince for her. Your friends and family don’t know or care about the traditions, they’ll just think it’s a birthday party, so the end result will not be what Hispanic girls who have quinces experience, which are a HUGE deal and entail special traditions. I don’t think it’s even problematic if you try to have one, I just don’t think it’ll be the same. Would be like someone trying to have a New Orleans first line after a funeral here, with people who had never heard of it and don’t get the meaning or tradition. Would probably fall flat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t think it would be a huge issue in theory to have one since you’re Latina but the issue is since you’re not from a country that does these you and your daughter aren’t embedded in the culture in a way that will create a real quince for her. Your friends and family don’t know or care about the traditions, they’ll just think it’s a birthday party, so the end result will not be what Hispanic girls who have quinces experience, which are a HUGE deal and entail special traditions. I don’t think it’s even problematic if you try to have one, I just don’t think it’ll be the same. Would be like someone trying to have a New Orleans first line after a funeral here, with people who had never heard of it and don’t get the meaning or tradition. Would probably fall flat.

See replies above from other Brazilians. It is done in her country but she is not familiar with them. I wonder why her DD is asking for this---friends? is she trying to connect with part of her culture? If I were OP, I would explore reasoning behind her DD's request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t think it would be a huge issue in theory to have one since you’re Latina but the issue is since you’re not from a country that does these you and your daughter aren’t embedded in the culture in a way that will create a real quince for her. Your friends and family don’t know or care about the traditions, they’ll just think it’s a birthday party, so the end result will not be what Hispanic girls who have quinces experience, which are a HUGE deal and entail special traditions. I don’t think it’s even problematic if you try to have one, I just don’t think it’ll be the same. Would be like someone trying to have a New Orleans first line after a funeral here, with people who had never heard of it and don’t get the meaning or tradition. Would probably fall flat.

See replies above from other Brazilians. It is done in her country but she is not familiar with them. I wonder why her DD is asking for this---friends? is she trying to connect with part of her culture? If I were OP, I would explore reasoning behind her DD's request.

If - as you put it - “she is not familiar,” then it is NOT her culture!

That means it is cultural appropriation. It only does she need to say no to DD, this is a teachable moment where she can educate her child about toxic cultural appropriation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Mexican DDs aren’t having a quince because they are super expensive and take so much time to plan. Instead we’re going on a special trip.

Because special trips aren't expensive and are easy to plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Mexican American from South Texas. I was in 5-6 of these as a teen and my son and nephews have been in many as escorts to the court of 15 girls who wear matching dresses and do a special dance. (I have never in over 50 years see the kids waltz!) A real quince is different from just a big party. There is a church component to it that includes a Mass and the presentation of rose to la Virgen de Guadalupe. Priests will usually require that the girl be attending weekly Mass, youth ministry activities, and preparing for Confirmation. There are usually Padrinos, which are close family friends who "sponsor" various things that are presented to the girl at either the ceremony or the party afterwards like a rosary, a bible, a crown, a ring, etc... These days I've seen people doing some weird "first high heels" thing and "last doll" thing, which I find to be silly. Mariachis are expected, as is a full dinner, dancing, and a cake with 15 little dolls on it.

This. Also Mex-Am from Texas. When OP said Quince, I thought she had planned for a mass, presentation, and the whole shebang per above. I don't know if Brazilians incorporate the religious component or not but that's what I had assumed re the Quince, which would be very weird if it wasn't your culture. If OP only wants to have a big birthday party, she can just have it.

[Anonymous]

I am in the event industry. Quince's in this area cost about the same as weddings, which is to say they start around 25K, and many are upwards of 50K, and even higher is not that unusual. It's not even your culture. Tell her no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Mexican American from South Texas. I was in 5-6 of these as a teen and my son and nephews have been in many as escorts to the court of 15 girls who wear matching dresses and do a special dance. (I have never in over 50 years see the kids waltz!) A real quince is different from just a big party. There is a church component to it that includes a Mass and the presentation of rose to la Virgen de Guadalupe. Priests will usually require that the girl be attending weekly Mass, youth ministry activities, and preparing for Confirmation. There are usually Padrinos, which are close family friends who "sponsor" various things that are presented to the girl at either the ceremony or the party afterwards like a rosary, a bible, a crown, a ring, etc... These days I've seen people doing some weird "first high heels" thing and "last doll" thing, which I find to be silly. Mariachis are expected, as is a full dinner, dancing, and a cake with 15 little dolls on it.

This. Also Mex-Am from Texas. When OP said Quince, I thought she had planned for a mass, presentation, and the whole shebang per above. I don't know if Brazilians incorporate the religious component or not but that's what I had assumed re the Quince, which would be very weird if it wasn't your culture. If OP only wants to have a big birthday party, she can just have it.

I think some people do it differently in Brazil. Some people do have a Catholic mass component. There is a court-15 pairs of boys/girls. Dad/daughter dance. Girls practice for it for several months. I left Brazil years ago so I think it’s been modernized bc of social media?