Mean kids at the park

[Anonymous]

OP here, the kids are all 4 and under at the park on weekday mornings/early afternoons. I don’t expect everyone to play together, but if your kid is throwing sand on other kids and telling them they don’t like them, that’s not okay.
I’m also staying home with my kids right now (on maternity leave) so I’m dragging my infant around and I get that it’s exhausting. You can’t ignore a 3 year old at the park, though, unless you’re just a jerk. Sorry that it sucks and you’d rather scroll. If you want to ignore them then put a movie on and let them sit in front of it. Stop expecting other people to parent your kid.

[Anonymous]

I've seen a young kid deliberately throw sand in another kid's eyes.
Infamous incident at a playplace where a kid bit three kids in less than 60 seconds. (We filed a police report, flame away. The parent knew he was a biter and unleashed him without supervision, sorry not sorry.)
One time my son was pushed off playground equipment about a flight of stairs high. The kid was his buddy. I stopped arranging playdates and my kid never asked to see him again. I think the push was accidental but having to watch them play carefully when I had another younger kid and was pregnant was just too stressful for the payoff.

Don't really have advice other than to say you're not imagining things. I asked my dad if he'd ever seen a kid deliberately throw sand in eyes in his days of taking us to parks and he said no.

Public school teachers are all reporting behavior is getting very bad, even dangerous, and I believe them.

[Anonymous]

My kids are older (10, 8, 5), but I don’t recall anything like that. Mean girls in K and beyond? Sure… not random kids at the playground though.

Also, please realize that 4 year old are just like 3 year old and not mean kids. Know that she is your oldest and perhaps you lack perspective.

I am all about defending my kids (and have done so a few times) if needed.

[Anonymous]

OP why wouldn’t you say something to the bully kids? Kids hate getting in trouble by adults, usually me just standing by them gets them to shut up and act decent.

[Anonymous]

Ages 2-4 can be mean to each other, but it’s not exactly mean spirited. Intervening as a parent is counter productive. You can coach your child what to do, but setting the precedent that if sharing isn’t occurring or rude language happens they can come to you to solve their problem will be really hard to unwind.

Let kids solve their own problems or figure out how to navigate. Unless there’s danger, it’s all part of growing up.

[Anonymous]

Also, if you feel compelled to address it, again if violence isn’t involved, don’t you dare discipline someone else’s child. Speak to the parent and ask them to intervene. If they’re a jerk, model good behavior and leave the playground.

This isn’t hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, if you feel compelled to address it, again if violence isn’t involved, don’t you dare discipline someone else’s child. Speak to the parent and ask them to intervene. If they’re a jerk, model good behavior and leave the playground.

This isn’t hard.

I’m a teacher so I’m used to disciplining other people’s children, I just don’t want to have to do it in my off time. However, I’m not going to let your kid throw sand at other kids or make them cry. If you’re not aware that’s going on, then you’re the problem.

[Anonymous]

Divorce is the only answer.

[Anonymous]

I remove our children from obnoxious kids so they learn consequences. There is no better medicine for rude children than losing friendship and attention. I’ve encountered twice now really awful kids on the playground (which shows that most children are great) and letting them play alone always works, because it reminds them how they actually want friends and shows the parents how shameful the behavior is. One kid who was particularly rude alienated the entire neighborhood and everyone on their own abandoned the rude kid to his own misery and it taught him and all the other kids a priceless lesson on the value of kindness in procuring friendship.

[Anonymous]

What I actually hate most is kids age 4-8 who talk to me while I’m supervising my 3 year old. I talk to kids all day! I don’t want to talk to another one! Jk I’m always nice but omg, I seem to be a magnet for six year olds who want to tell me all about their lives.

I’ve never encountered a mean kid though, honestly. Normal, low level conflict over slides and such but never outright mean kids.

[Anonymous]

Is it a playground that’s appropriate for a three year old? A lot of them aren’t… you can’t expect an environment for older kids to adapt to a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Kids aren't mean or bad, they are all still learning what it means to live and to live in a particular community. These lessons take a lifetime and many mistakes will be made a long the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speak up when other kids are blocking the equipment or pushing. “ excuse me, Sally would like a turn down the slide.” And if they push or hit, sternly say “do not push my daughter”.

Sadly, you can’t do much about them not wanting to play with your daughter or them making snide comments.

Agree with this. And you making a snide remark about looking for “nice kids” isn’t helpful! It’s just the grown up version of what they are doing.

[Anonymous]

You either have to say something to the other kids or go to a different park. It's not fair to leave your toddler to fend for themselves against other toddlers exhibiting bully behavior. The offending kids need to know that this kid, who they think is easy prey, is being carefully watched by an adult who isn't afraid to step in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, if you feel compelled to address it, again if violence isn’t involved, don’t you dare discipline someone else’s child. Speak to the parent and ask them to intervene. If they’re a jerk, model good behavior and leave the playground.

This isn’t hard.

I hate this attitude. It’s perfectly fine to tell another person’s child they are misbehaving. Scream at them or spank them, no, but sternly saying, “We don’t hit” is perfectly fine. In fact, it’s good for kids to feel accountable to a community and other adults.