Do you allow unlimited screen time on play dates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be curious the ages/genders of the kids of each poster. When my oldest was in K-2 I definitely would have been more in line with the “play dates are for playing, I don’t want my kid using their little screen time at your house, etc.” mentality. But by upper elementary video games are very much a part of (especially boy) social groups. My friends with girls don’t seem to have this same issue. But the boys definitely bond over Minecraft, Roblox, etc. So a parent of a 1st grade girl isn’t going to have the same experiences as a parent of a 5th grade boy.

And I’ll add that younger kid play dates tend to be 2-3 hours, but as they get older sometimes kids will come over for a big part of the day. So in comparison an hour or two of screens over a six+ hour playdate isn’t the same as if that happened during the younger kid play date.

I'm a PP that responded and has younger kids. I understand that it's likely I'll have to relax screentime rules around video games when my kids get a little older like you described. But I have many neighbors that deal with this situation with older kids and they still insist on some limits. If it's a beautiful day they'll push the kids to ride bikes/scooters, go swimming (obviously a summer option), sledding, figure something out, etc. They also make it clear that if a kid decides they don't want to do any of those things and they go home they're also not going to have unlimited access to a Switch or iPad. Ultimately the kids would rather hang out together than be home by themselves. This means focusing on families that have similar values. You'll never win against parents that allow unlimited access.

If you want to host a 6 hr playdate and limit screen time you might have to do some more of the heavy lifting to make that possible. That might mean driving the kids to a trampoline park or a skateboarding park or investing in a Foosball table or a fire pit.

[Anonymous]

I don’t allow ANY screen time on play dates at my house. If kids want to watch YouTube or play Minecraft, they can do that from the comfort of their own home. My kid does those things plenty, but playdates are for socializing.

[Anonymous]

So your kids are on screens all the time but it’s forbidden during play dates ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We dont have video games but my son (age 9) loves to show off minecraft when his friends come over. Ghey huddle around the ipad and look at things they have built. I would let it be unlimited if they wished but in practice it's never more than 30 or so minutes.

I wouldnt want kids to come over and watch tv. That seems weird. Its never happened on a play date at our house.

In other people's houses, their rules. If they want to play video games for 2 hours and their parents dont care, I also dont care.

I am confused. Minecraft is a video game

I meant we dont have a video game system. There is nothing connected to our tv that multiple kids could play. We have a tablet with minecraft on it.

[Anonymous]

I will note that as a parent of a 9 year old, I do NOT expect other parents to ask me about screen time on play dates. I would find it odd if someone said to me "is it ok if they play mario kart?". We dont have any new video systems in our home, so kids never play video games on play dates here, but it wouldnt bother me in the least if they do somewhere else. Other people's houses, you follow their rules. And play their games. It wouldnt occur to me to ask permission or to be expected to give permission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't do playdates with screens at our house. If our kid goes to a playdate at someone else's house, they follow their rules.

+1 If I go through the effort of organizing and hosting a playdate, kids are going to play, not stare at a screen. If someone else is hosting, my kids can follow their house rules.

Same here. If a kid walks into our house with a handheld game I tell them "we don't use those here - you can leave that right here and I'll remind you to pick it up when you're leaving." It's never been a problem.

Over time these kids will decide they don’t want to come to your house you won’t even notice, just that they will always be busy when your kid invites them over.

That's okay - my kids want to PLAY. They don't want to sit watching their friend play a game that the friend could have just as easily played at home by themselves. My kids will stop asking them to come over because "he's boring and never wants to do anything fun."

Exactly. Some kids know how to play and run around and invent games and others just sit there and want to play video games. My kid is only 8, playing together and having fun should take precedence over video games. If one wants to play and the other wants his device then they are not a good match anyway.

+1

[Anonymous]

Some excruciating pearl clutching on this thread

[Anonymous]

My kid’s friends specifically tell them to bring their iPad on play dates. They film themselves doing karaoke and silly dances

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not talking about it 8 year olds. I mean 11 and 12 yo and older.

Yes.

Well i have a 13 and 10 yr old too and its not much of a problem for them. They don’t play like little kids and they can find stuff to do together. The 8 yr old friendly playing with his device is a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow ANY screen time on play dates at my house. If kids want to watch YouTube or play Minecraft, they can do that from the comfort of their own home. My kid does those things plenty, but playdates are for socializing.

But kids can socialize on screens. Personally I like it better when my kid is collaboratively creating a world in Minecraft with a friend than just sitting and doing it alone. But I also want him to do other stuff like pass a ball around or ride bikes with friends too. It can be both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow ANY screen time on play dates at my house. If kids want to watch YouTube or play Minecraft, they can do that from the comfort of their own home. My kid does those things plenty, but playdates are for socializing.

But kids can socialize on screens. Personally I like it better when my kid is collaboratively creating a world in Minecraft with a friend than just sitting and doing it alone. But I also want him to do other stuff like pass a ball around or ride bikes with friends too. It can be both.

My kids build stuff with friends on Minecraft by FaceTiming them in the evening. When their friends are over at our house, they ride bikes, make “inventions” out of craft supplies and random stuff, play board games, and . . . talk about Minecraft. Also I have 2 kids and they build Minecraft together.

[Anonymous]

We usually have 2-3 playdates at 7 and I let the kids play video games for 30 minutes. They can chose when they play them during the play date and we just set a timer. When the timer goes off we put the games up. It is a social thing for them at this point and as long as they play 2 person games I am fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will note that as a parent of a 9 year old, I do NOT expect other parents to ask me about screen time on play dates. I would find it odd if someone said to me "is it ok if they play mario kart?". We dont have any new video systems in our home, so kids never play video games on play dates here, but it wouldnt bother me in the least if they do somewhere else. Other people's houses, you follow their rules. And play their games. It wouldnt occur to me to ask permission or to be expected to give permission.

I do ask, and sometimes other parents ask me, because not all 9 year olds are allowed to play the same games. We're a yes on Minecraft but a no on some violent games, for example.

When we host, we'll usually allow 30-40 minutes of screen time with a literal timer, then it goes off. When my kid goes somewhere else it's up to the other parents to decide what the limit is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow ANY screen time on play dates at my house. If kids want to watch YouTube or play Minecraft, they can do that from the comfort of their own home. My kid does those things plenty, but playdates are for socializing.

But kids can socialize on screens. Personally I like it better when my kid is collaboratively creating a world in Minecraft with a friend than just sitting and doing it alone. But I also want him to do other stuff like pass a ball around or ride bikes with friends too. It can be both.

My kids build stuff with friends on Minecraft by FaceTiming them in the evening. When their friends are over at our house, they ride bikes, make “inventions” out of craft supplies and random stuff, play board games, and . . . talk about Minecraft. Also I have 2 kids and they build Minecraft together.

I love when they get really into making paper minecraft stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't do playdates with screens at our house. If our kid goes to a playdate at someone else's house, they follow their rules.

This