Why is my co-worker lying about getting married?

[Anonymous]

She might have quietly done a courthouse pencil whip thing the guy finally conceded to for purely administrative purposes. I would be greatly embarassed about that too. Be gentle.

[Anonymous]

OMG! I thought you were writing about my coworker. So, I've been in this office for the last two years, and I was informed that one female coworker keeps telling people she is married, but other people think she is lying. So, I stayed out of this, as all this gossip is none of my business.
She told me last week that her husband's parents are visiting for a holiday. So, I said, sorry I forgot your husband's name, she said, Diego. But months ago, I swore she said it was a different name. But he could have several names; many Latin cultures have several first names, right?
So, also a while ago, she told me he is younger than her, but then she also said she got married at 20 something, which would mean that he was 13 when he married her when you add the ages and all.
Nobody has ever seen her husband or a picture of him.
I do not know if she is married, but some stories are not adding up. Yet, I roll with it.
If she made it up, I feel bad for her, that she did something silly years ago and can't get out of it. She is not a bad person at all at work.

[Anonymous]

OP you are a nosy person with limited intelligence

[Anonymous]

There are no pictures of my husband and myself together for years at a time. I guess we aren't really doing anything fun together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A group of co-workers and I were talking about relationships. One of our co-workers has been with her partners for many years so someone asked her when she was gonna get married. She said she got married "a few weeks ago". We were surprised to learn this because we we weren't aware of her getting engaged. She's not wearing any rings and she still signs e-mails under her maiden name. I have her on social media, but she hasn't posted anything pointing to her getting married. Her last post is of her and some friends in some informal dinner. I was talking to another friend at work and we both agree that she doesn't seem to be married and that she's probably embarrassed to be dating this guy for such a long time without a ring.

Y’all are awful busybodies.

When I wed DH, it was the first marking period and second marriages so we had a low key event. I kept my maiden name (as I did during my first marriage) and don’t wear rings to work. No social media post about it.

A decade and an adopted kid later, many people I work with don’t know I’m married.

[Anonymous]

Oh for heaven's sake. My DH and I were together for 14 years before we got married. Do you realize how ridiculous it is to refer to a "maiden name" in 2023? Leave your coworker alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't always wear my rings (I have RA) and kept my maiden name when we married decades ago. What is wrong with you, OP? Leave your co-worker alone.

I’ve never met another person who doesn’t wear their ring due to similar reasons. I have swollen joints. It’s not RA yet but I have a doctor keeping an eye on the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG! I thought you were writing about my coworker. So, I've been in this office for the last two years, and I was informed that one female coworker keeps telling people she is married, but other people think she is lying. So, I stayed out of this, as all this gossip is none of my business.
She told me last week that her husband's parents are visiting for a holiday. So, I said, sorry I forgot your husband's name, she said, Diego. But months ago, I swore she said it was a different name. But he could have several names; many Latin cultures have several first names, right?
So, also a while ago, she told me he is younger than her, but then she also said she got married at 20 something, which would mean that he was 13 when he married her when you add the ages and all.
Nobody has ever seen her husband or a picture of him.
I do not know if she is married, but some stories are not adding up. Yet, I roll with it.
If she made it up, I feel bad for her, that she did something silly years ago and can't get out of it. She is not a bad person at all at work.

I worked with someone who made up a husband, and a couple of years later, he died. It was one of many clues that this person was mentally ill. She lied about other things such as falsifying her time card.

However, OP’s co-worker could have married and doesn’t want a ring. Many women don’t change their names. It depends on whether or not this person is generally honest.

[Anonymous]

How is this any of your business?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she just said this and no one asked any other details like where it happened, who was there, what she wore…

Bad troll attempt.

We asked more details, I just didn't include them here because they're not relevant. In fact, she said there was a celebration which is why I'm surprised there's no pics on her social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A group of co-workers and I were talking about relationships. One of our co-workers has been with her partners for many years so someone asked her when she was gonna get married. She said she got married "a few weeks ago". We were surprised to learn this because we we weren't aware of her getting engaged. She's not wearing any rings and she still signs e-mails under her maiden name. I have her on social media, but she hasn't posted anything pointing to her getting married. Her last post is of her and some friends in some informal dinner. I was talking to another friend at work and we both agree that she doesn't seem to be married and that she's probably embarrassed to be dating this guy for such a long time without a ring.

I'm not one to call troll, but this clearly is. We are supposed to believe that this coworker said she got married a few weeks ago and there were NO follow up questions or discussion in the moment? So she says, "I got married" and the next sentence uttered was on an entirely different topic?

OP here, there were more questions, but she just vaguely said there was a celebration and that they made the decision a while ago. That's why I'm surprised. SHe never announced the engagement and I don't see pics of the celebration anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She might have quietly done a courthouse pencil whip thing the guy finally conceded to for purely administrative purposes. I would be greatly embarassed about that too. Be gentle.

Why is there always the assumption that the man was the one who didn't want to marry, instead of it being the woman or a mutual decision?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She might have quietly done a courthouse pencil whip thing the guy finally conceded to for purely administrative purposes. I would be greatly embarassed about that too. Be gentle.

Why is there always the assumption that the man was the one who didn't want to marry, instead of it being the woman or a mutual decision?

Because outside of the deep anonymous corners of the internet, *most* women are not “cool girls” who totally don’t care about silly stuff like “rings” and “weddings”, who drink beer and fart just like the boys!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She might have quietly done a courthouse pencil whip thing the guy finally conceded to for purely administrative purposes. I would be greatly embarassed about that too. Be gentle.

Why is there always the assumption that the man was the one who didn't want to marry, instead of it being the woman or a mutual decision?

Because outside of the deep anonymous corners of the internet, *most* women are not “cool girls” who totally don’t care about silly stuff like “rings” and “weddings”, who drink beer and fart just like the boys!

Not caring about rings and weddings is just a preference. I don't care about those and neither do many of my of my acquaintances which include friends and members of my own family. Men who don't want a wedding or rings aren't called cool guys, they're just men. Why are women expected to want those things more than men do? Do you also look down on men who marry with no wedding or don't marry at all?

[Anonymous]

I got divorced and remarried while at my last job (I was there for a decade). I never talked about my first husband, my divorce, or my second husband at work. Your coworkers aren’t your friends.