Kid has announced she wants to be an Olympic swimmer. How to respond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be clear, I don't think my kid is going to the Olympics. I'm asking how to respond in a way that is encouraging, since she really enjoys this activity and I think it would be great for her personally to keep pursuing it, without building up a dream that is 99.9999999999% a pipe dream.

Agree we need to look into year round swim options.

You’re getting flack here for no good reason OP. Dreams are great and should never be discouraged. It’s all about what’s age-appropriate. In your shoes I’d tell her that you love watching the Olympics and love her level of ambition, and like PPs noted, mention that winter swim would be the next step (assuming you can afford it money and time-wise), which takes a lot of commitment. Maybe she’ll abandon the idea along the way, but maybe she won’t.

If she is willing to put in the work, does well, and it still works for your family (including siblings who may be completely uninterested in tagging along), then just reassess year by year. This is the path we followed for a kid who seemed unusually athletic as an elementary student and is now a professional athlete.

[Anonymous]

When there little anytime the do well at something the mind automatically goes to them being champion level. It is exciting to think about but for now think of it as an activity they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she swim year round yet? I get the sense she isn’t. If not, you really don’t know if she’s good. I mean, she may be amazing for summer swim but you don’t know if she’s a good swimmer overall. Summer swim has no dive blocks, no flip turns (for an 8 year old), and all events are very short. This is why some kids (including older ones) make it to all stars with NVSL and they don’t even swim club. They have great swimmer bodies and they know the strokes. A boy on my son’s varsity team swims summer swim. He went to all stars this year as a 13-14 year old (really 15 years old) in 2 strokes. Clearly a strong summer swimmer. On the varsity swim team, however, his failure to swim club is evident. He’s a very mediocre swimmer, since all but the 50 free are longer events.

You sound excited at the prospect and that’s where I’d suggest you put the brakes on a bit. She’s competitive and fast- which is great. She loves swimming - even better. Club swimming is completely different than summer swim. Try it first and see if she still likes it.

Oh, I'm aware summer swim is it's own thing. This was our first year and it was an education. Agree club swim is next step, just looking for ways to talk to her about it that encourage without setting her up for a big disappointment if, for instance, she does club swim and hates it or discovers she has to work harder than she wants to be successful. Just looking to set the right tone. I'm excited for my kid to have a thing she loves; I actually feel a lot of trepidation about the idea of her competing at a high level in such an intense sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she swim year round yet? I get the sense she isn’t. If not, you really don’t know if she’s good. I mean, she may be amazing for summer swim but you don’t know if she’s a good swimmer overall. Summer swim has no dive blocks, no flip turns (for an 8 year old), and all events are very short. This is why some kids (including older ones) make it to all stars with NVSL and they don’t even swim club. They have great swimmer bodies and they know the strokes. A boy on my son’s varsity team swims summer swim. He went to all stars this year as a 13-14 year old (really 15 years old) in 2 strokes. Clearly a strong summer swimmer. On the varsity swim team, however, his failure to swim club is evident. He’s a very mediocre swimmer, since all but the 50 free are longer events.

You sound excited at the prospect and that’s where I’d suggest you put the brakes on a bit. She’s competitive and fast- which is great. She loves swimming - even better. Club swimming is completely different than summer swim. Try it first and see if she still likes it.

Oh, I'm aware summer swim is it's own thing. This was our first year and it was an education. Agree club swim is next step, just looking for ways to talk to her about it that encourage without setting her up for a big disappointment if, for instance, she does club swim and hates it or discovers she has to work harder than she wants to be successful. Just looking to set the right tone. I'm excited for my kid to have a thing she loves; I actually feel a lot of trepidation about the idea of her competing at a high level in such an intense sport.

I think you can just say that part that "I'm excited you found a sport you love!"

ANd then if she brings it up again or asks if you think she will be in the Olympics, as a pp suggested, you can focus on one step at a time. "That's awesome, but a long ways away. Let's figure out if you want to try year-round swimming to see if you like it as much as summer."

[Anonymous]

8 is definitely not too young for year round swim. Let the child take the lead and make sure you reinforce the aspect that they need to put in the time and work as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be clear, I don't think my kid is going to the Olympics. I'm asking how to respond in a way that is encouraging, since she really enjoys this activity and I think it would be great for her personally to keep pursuing it, without building up a dream that is 99.9999999999% a pipe dream.

Agree we need to look into year round swim options.

“Cool! If I went to the Olympics I would want to do hurdles. What do you think dad would do?”

[Anonymous]

“I’m happy you found something you are passionate about and want to pursue to your fullest ability.”

[Anonymous]

My 11yo has wanted to be an Olympic swimmer, a police officer, a search and rescue K9 handler, and a member of the deck crew on below deck/yachting

Be supportive of her current goals and don’t put too thought or money into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be clear, I don't think my kid is going to the Olympics. I'm asking how to respond in a way that is encouraging, since she really enjoys this activity and I think it would be great for her personally to keep pursuing it, without building up a dream that is 99.9999999999% a pipe dream.

Agree we need to look into year round swim options.

Year round is your first step and is a good way to encourage her passion without the Olympics being the end game. Year round swim is very different than summer swim, but 8 is a good age to start and see if she really has a passion for swim. My kid is 11 and as it turns out it is her passion, she started year round at 9 and loves it (the next month is her least favorite time of year because there is no swim). She’s grown out of Olympic dreams, but she’s good and wants to swim in college and now has an understanding that work ethic plays a big part. She loves following her favorite Olympic level swimmers (she was up early to watch finals of the recent World Championships live) and wants her birthday and Xmas present to be a trip to the Olympic trials. I don’t think you need to just “yes, dear” her (I know she’s only 8 but that just seems unnecessarily condescending and unsupportive), let her explore whether this is a passion for her and support her in that effort.

Thank you for this, it's really helpful. I had previously thought 8 was too soon for club swim, and to be honest I'm not sure if I am ready for it because it's a commitment for us, too. But she told me recently that no matter how she's feeling, getting in the pool makes her happy, so the idea of stopping for the next 9 months sounds mean, tbh. I'm hoping to find a relatively relaxed club atmosphere in budget that will let us ease in. Proximity is going to be big too.

But thanks for sharing your experience. I agree I don't 'want to just say "that's nice, dear" -- that' the kind of thing that would have hurt my feelings when I was her age because I agree, it's patronizing. But I want to be careful what I say, too, because the combination of very competitive, obsessed with swimming, and a goal like this feels mildly stressful to me. I don't want her to fall apart when it doesn't happen.

Also want to note I'm a total swimming newbie. Grew up in an area where swimming was not big, I learned to swim but like in a "I won't drown and could use it for exercise if I don't have to share a lane because I'm so slow" way. The level of intensity around swimming here is overwhelming at times and I guess I'm a little unsure about navigating it, but I wound up with a swimming obsessed kid. Just trying to figure it out!

Since it’s August, most of the competitive local clubs (RMSC, NCAP, Machine, etc.) have already completed their tryouts for the 2023-2024 season. However, if she/you are interested in letting her try year round swim most of the lower key teams will probably still take her. The season starts in September so if you are interested now is the time to reach out. The biggest advantage to swimming year round with a club is the ability to compete at meets once a month or so. Year round swim can be drudgery without the carrot of meets.

[Anonymous]

<img src="https://d1nmxxg9d5tdo.cloudfront.net/1020/snippet_images/99a7fb609ee0efd2d31e49a3f01a2f3b21ab28f8/original/QT_Pyramid_Chart.png?1641415343" alt="USA Swimming Times - Nazareth/Easton YMCA Swim Team"/>

I'm probably going to mess up getting this image but hope it works.

This pyramid was shown to me when my kid made JO cuts this year. He wasn't remotely close to making Zone cuts but it helped us to understand how the system works. USA swimming also has motivational times posted - my kids enjoys swim but knows that he's never going to be breaking records. He's motivated by the fact that he cuts time every meet and is reaching personal goals which is one aspect I really like about the sport. I'd probably frame it like that since she is still young. She's racing her own times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be clear, I don't think my kid is going to the Olympics. I'm asking how to respond in a way that is encouraging, since she really enjoys this activity and I think it would be great for her personally to keep pursuing it, without building up a dream that is 99.9999999999% a pipe dream.

Agree we need to look into year round swim options.

Year round is your first step and is a good way to encourage her passion without the Olympics being the end game. Year round swim is very different than summer swim, but 8 is a good age to start and see if she really has a passion for swim. My kid is 11 and as it turns out it is her passion, she started year round at 9 and loves it (the next month is her least favorite time of year because there is no swim). She’s grown out of Olympic dreams, but she’s good and wants to swim in college and now has an understanding that work ethic plays a big part. She loves following her favorite Olympic level swimmers (she was up early to watch finals of the recent World Championships live) and wants her birthday and Xmas present to be a trip to the Olympic trials. I don’t think you need to just “yes, dear” her (I know she’s only 8 but that just seems unnecessarily condescending and unsupportive), let her explore whether this is a passion for her and support her in that effort.

Thank you for this, it's really helpful. I had previously thought 8 was too soon for club swim, and to be honest I'm not sure if I am ready for it because it's a commitment for us, too. But she told me recently that no matter how she's feeling, getting in the pool makes her happy, so the idea of stopping for the next 9 months sounds mean, tbh. I'm hoping to find a relatively relaxed club atmosphere in budget that will let us ease in. Proximity is going to be big too.

But thanks for sharing your experience. I agree I don't 'want to just say "that's nice, dear" -- that' the kind of thing that would have hurt my feelings when I was her age because I agree, it's patronizing. But I want to be careful what I say, too, because the combination of very competitive, obsessed with swimming, and a goal like this feels mildly stressful to me. I don't want her to fall apart when it doesn't happen.

Also want to note I'm a total swimming newbie. Grew up in an area where swimming was not big, I learned to swim but like in a "I won't drown and could use it for exercise if I don't have to share a lane because I'm so slow" way. The level of intensity around swimming here is overwhelming at times and I guess I'm a little unsure about navigating it, but I wound up with a swimming obsessed kid. Just trying to figure it out!

Since it’s August, most of the competitive local clubs (RMSC, NCAP, Machine, etc.) have already completed their tryouts for the 2023-2024 season. However, if she/you are interested in letting her try year round swim most of the lower key teams will probably still take her. The season starts in September so if you are interested now is the time to reach out. The biggest advantage to swimming year round with a club is the ability to compete at meets once a month or so. Year round swim can be drudgery without the carrot of meets.

Thanks for the info -- yes, I was seeing that a lot of the club tryouts are well past. I will say that DD actually really loves swimming against her own times and has always been a fan of swim class and refining discrete skills like turns or dives so if we wind up doing that this year, I don't think it will be the end of the world. But now that she has a taste of the team environment and meets, I definitely think that's going to be a major motivator so if we can find a club that is open and is not an insane commute or schedule, we'll try it.

[Anonymous]

image didn't work - this was the link I found that has it - not my kids club and the time standards are outdated - just posting for the pyramid!
https://neys.swimtopia.com/usa-swimming-times

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many bitter people jealous of a small child with a dream.

OP, tell your kid that Olympic swimmers work very hard for many years, so if she wants to try for that, she needs to get to work.

No one is “jealous.” We’re just calling a spade a spade.

OP’s own words:

“I am THRILLED about her swimming -- she loves it, she's good at it, she's fast. I'm not going to pretend I don't love it.”

You can’t talk like that about an 8 year and then say “but, hey no big deal if she quits I’m cool.”

OP is really, really into an 8 year old and swimming.

That's a lot less weird than being really, really into a stranger as their 8 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol, OP. She’s 8 and you’re already thinking of high school and college and beyond.

The poor kid.

+1. OP is a nut case.

[Anonymous]

"That would be so cool, Larla!! How do you think people get to be in the Olympics for swimming?"

And then emphasize the hard work it takes.