What would you change if you could

[Anonymous]

I would have taken more videos to capture each age. They grow up so quickly - taking time to make short conversational videos that reflect their age and personalities are the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would put them in a low stress high school. Their large, super demanding and highly competitive suburban school was a continuous source of stress and lack of sleep.

We live in Fairfax county and wish I could find a low stress high school. The competitive environment is awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would put them in a low stress high school. Their large, super demanding and highly competitive suburban school was a continuous source of stress and lack of sleep.

We live in Fairfax county and wish I could find a low stress high school. The competitive environment is awful.

Be prepared. There are parents that tutor for every single subject. Even if you have an intrinsically smart kid, colleges can usually tell who had tutoring, but still.

[Anonymous]

I would have given them more household chores and insisted on cleaner rooms. My grown sons are functioning adults, but absolute slobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In other thread, someone says kids become rude if parents were rude to them.

What mistakes did you make while raising your children and if given a chance to relive, wouldn't repeat them?

Did not read the thread. Just responding to OP's post.

My BIGGEST regret is that I pushed my kids into the college rat race. The whole two years before they left home was a nightmare. I wish I'd just said, "you're going to XX Public U" and left it at that. I was extremely worried they wouldn't go to good enough schools, and we couldn't afford private college without loads of merit aid.

As adults, all of my children have complained about the process, how stressed I was, and upset when their grades or test scores weren't high enough to get merit aid or full rides at mid-tier schools.

My children turned out fine. None went to an elite college. They are fine, fine, fine, and all that worrying and anxiety just made those two years before each of them left for college pure Hell. Why did I fall into that trap? I was just sucked in along with all the other hyper competitive parents. Terrible, terrible mistake. It ruined the years before they left for college.

Thank you for this post. I think I am doing this to my kid right now and he's only in 9th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had not given my son a video game device at age 3. Plus I wish we had lived in a neighborhood with lots of kids around.

Ditto. I chose our neighborhood thinking it looked really family friendly, but once we moved in I realized there were only a couple of kids his age and they just sat inside and played video games all the time. Meanwhile, the townhouse community down the street was hopping with kids outside all the time. Could have saved a lot of money and had a less isolated kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have taken more videos to capture each age. They grow up so quickly - taking time to make short conversational videos that reflect their age and personalities are the best.

++++1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In other thread, someone says kids become rude if parents were rude to them.

What mistakes did you make while raising your children and if given a chance to relive, wouldn't repeat them?

Did not read the thread. Just responding to OP's post.

My BIGGEST regret is that I pushed my kids into the college rat race. The whole two years before they left home was a nightmare. I wish I'd just said, "you're going to XX Public U" and left it at that. I was extremely worried they wouldn't go to good enough schools, and we couldn't afford private college without loads of merit aid.

As adults, all of my children have complained about the process, how stressed I was, and upset when their grades or test scores weren't high enough to get merit aid or full rides at mid-tier schools.

My children turned out fine. None went to an elite college. They are fine, fine, fine, and all that worrying and anxiety just made those two years before each of them left for college pure Hell. Why did I fall into that trap? I was just sucked in along with all the other hyper competitive parents. Terrible, terrible mistake. It ruined the years before they left for college.

Thank you. I’ve got a middle schooler now and I can see myself in the future making the same mistakes you did. I appreciate your sharing.

[Anonymous]

My dad was abusive and my mom was more interested in keeping her new husband happy than raising a tween/teen. So, I had no idea how to parent well. I spent years in therapy talking through how to handle various parenting issues and be better than my parents.

I am not a perfect parent. I did not produce prefect kids. But they are in colleges that are great for them, pursuing degrees that are employable in areas they enjoy. They are kind people who treat others well and make good choices (usually). We are developing strong adult relationships.

Some of it was luck— addiction, good kids making one bad decision, accidents, genetics. Kids don’t come with a “raise them well and you will get a great kid with no major problems” guarantee. Some of it was hard work and worry and sleepless nights. But, DH and I got the big stuff right. If I had it to do over, I would have make the same decisions on the big stuff (vs the not sending the kid to the summer camp they hated stuff).

It worked out well. For that, I am incredibly thankful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would put them in a low stress high school. Their large, super demanding and highly competitive suburban school was a continuous source of stress and lack of sleep.

We live in Fairfax county and wish I could find a low stress high school. The competitive environment is awful.

Agree 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In other thread, someone says kids become rude if parents were rude to them.

What mistakes did you make while raising your children and if given a chance to relive, wouldn't repeat them?

It’s very true about rude parents. Your kids mimic you and if you are snarky and rude to them, they will do the same to you and others.

If I could go back I would have pushed harder for an autism diagnosis which it became clear was the issue when our DD was a teen. I think she would have received more targeted and effective therapy and support in the early years.

[Anonymous]

I would not have gone into the military, would not of had hunting accident with brothers that cost one his leg[youtube]

[Anonymous]

Bill Zorc of Vero Beach, Fla. ,contact me