Sometimes I’m still so mad this professor discouraged me

[Anonymous]

I’m assuming you technically qualified for an upperclassman university course with your transfer cc credits but you were wholly unprepared for the material. I had a similar experience with a professor, who asked me to hang back after class and basically told me to W his course because it was so obvious to him I was not anywhere near prepared for the material.

Pre-cell phones, professors used to be really ruthless, especially in STEM departments, so you’re not alone and I wouldn’t let it define your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would write to her. Even if what she said was true, why humiliate you in front of a room of people. She sounds like a jerk. Write to her and tell her, and don’t give her your return address or anything so she can’t contact you and potentially double-down on her jerkiness.

Write to, what, trauma dump? It’s not her fault OP quit college. OP seemingly wasn’t cut out for the major, but the professor didn’t tell her to quit college. And OP wasn’t a freshman who had 4 years to catch up, she was a third year junior. I think the professor just recognized OP was too far behind her third and fourth year classmates and was frankly telling her it was too late and she was too behind to realistically complete that program.

[Anonymous]

College is full of nice and mean professors. Pretty much everyone with a bachelor’s degree probably had at least one cruel, cranky professor. Some of those professors failed us and we had to re-take their course because only they taught it. It’s not life defining. You try harder next semester and eke out with a 2.0 grade.

[Anonymous]

OP, you see more upset with yourself for not letting this go- than you are for what she actually said.

You don't say what line you are in- or if you agree with her- or if you are wondering 'what could have been', but you could explore that with therapy, if needed.

Mostly I want to say that is a DICK thing to say- so I'm sorry- as that sounds like it must have felt awful- so public. It is typical of some fields (graphic design, artist, music, dance, medicine, -lots of fields where people you want to respect- feel a need to verbalize a snap judgement- either right or wrong).

I try to fall on the side of 'were they right?' and 'do I care that they were right?'- or if suddenly you are feeling they are wrong- do you now then want to explore the field? If so, see how you could do that- in ways that don't interfere with your professional life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound off the rails.

And you don't just sound like an a$$hole, you ARE an a$$hole. Congrats on being a net negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

This is not entirely on her. Trauma isn’t just what happens to you, but how you respond to it. Some people would be discouraged, but not drop out (an extreme reaction). Others might have disregarded her opinion entirely. And some would have seen her opinion as a goad to become amazing in that field.

Definitely talk to a therapist.

OP here. This is very true, and an interesting point. The Me of today would definitely see it as Option #3: Challenge Accepted. So perhaps it was an important moment of growth for me, and allowed me to become the person I am today.

I am a Challenge Accepted person. The best way to tick me off is to tell me I can’t do something for some BS reason they come up with out of racism, sexism, ableism, etc. I’ll never tell a person F U to their face, but I will prove them wrong in every way they doubted me.

You should go and thank your doubters for lighting the fire under your butt.

[Anonymous]

Interesting, I was going to post a similar post just like this yesterday! I'm sad and happy that I saw your post. Sad bc I know what you mean about years later when you are older realizing that what the teacher said to you was an opportunity for you to boost yourself up in that moment and not let the "hit" derail you. During the pandemic I took a very intensive tech class and one of my teachers made me feel badly about one of my projects and failed me for that section. What has lingered for me is in the moments where she was failing me, I basically also felt that I sucked. Well looking back DUH everyone who starts something new sucks to some degree. I didn't give up but I also get angry thinking back on how she failed me and also that I failed myself in that moment. I think when you are just trying something new that people in power should encourage you, not derail you.

[Anonymous]

Why are there so many jealous haters?

[Anonymous]

How hard is graphic design

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would write to her. Even if what she said was true, why humiliate you in front of a room of people. She sounds like a jerk. Write to her and tell her, and don’t give her your return address or anything so she can’t contact you and potentially double-down on her jerkiness.

Write to, what, trauma dump? It’s not her fault OP quit college. OP seemingly wasn’t cut out for the major, but the professor didn’t tell her to quit college. And OP wasn’t a freshman who had 4 years to catch up, she was a third year junior. I think the professor just recognized OP was too far behind her third and fourth year classmates and was frankly telling her it was too late and she was too behind to realistically complete that program.

I doubt this teacher, who lacks the basics of human interaction, is qualified in recognizing talent.

[Anonymous]

Have you explored filing a lawsuit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How hard is graphic design

Look, I think since it is a combination of tech skills like using Photoshop and your own creative eye that sometimes this " skill" takes time to get "good" at in my opinion. My DH is a graphic designer and if you look at his work in the beginning it is very mediocre but over the years with a ton of practice, he can re create ANYTHING on the computer visually. It freaking takes time and effort so I'm mad for you. This reminds me too of Michelle Obama's story of her guidance counselor trying to derail her from going to Princeton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

I think that is what you are still upset with. You let her shatter you. Therapy would be good.

[Anonymous]

This thread reflects that some people are innately kind, and others are not. All of the PPs are easily identified as one or the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

This is not entirely on her. Trauma isn’t just what happens to you, but how you respond to it. Some people would be discouraged, but not drop out (an extreme reaction). Others might have disregarded her opinion entirely. And some would have seen her opinion as a goad to become amazing in that field.

Definitely talk to a therapist.

OP here. This is very true, and an interesting point. The Me of today would definitely see it as Option #3: Challenge Accepted. So perhaps it was an important moment of growth for me, and allowed me to become the person I am today.

I am a Challenge Accepted person. The best way to tick me off is to tell me I can’t do something for some BS reason they come up with out of racism, sexism, ableism, etc. I’ll never tell a person F U to their face, but I will prove them wrong in every way they doubted me.

You should go and thank your doubters for lighting the fire under your butt.

I didn’t need a fire lit under my butt. I was judged on the basis of my race and gender before I even had a chance to perform so I could be evaluated. I still deal with this from time to time when someone new comes on board. They arrive with prejudices about Black women that cause stress for us both. I got sick of having to trot my credentials out for new higher ups. Now I just let my work speak for itself.