Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother extends her criticism to dogs as well, which I learned about recently. She told me on the phone that my sister’s dog had really put on weight. She said it in her usual judgmental tone. The dog in question had grown from a puppy to a normal-sized dog. She’s 91.

LOL this made me spit out my coffee.

My mother will comment that a woman is "such a dog" if she she looks too unkempt.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My favorite is, “She has such a pretty face.” In other words, she’s fat.

[Anonymous]

My MIL is like this more than my mom. Mid-70s. Though she mostly just says complimentary things so it's not so bad. But I still think she focuses on it too much, and that when she's complimenting another woman she's kind of putting herself down. I also thinks she fixates a lot on two aspects of appearance that I do not think should matter so much -- weight and how young someone looks. She's obsessed with these things. Whenever she sees anyone we know she will report back how thin she is and how old she looks or doesn't look. I am particularly conscious of it now that I have a daughter.

My mom isn't like this now but she was when I was younger. In my teenage years in particular, she was always trying to talk to me about which of my friends was the prettiest, who had the best hair, who was the thinnest, etc. I hated it. It seemed like she could never figure out why, and she'd accuse me of being jealous. I guess on some level I was jealous, not of my friends specifically, but of the way my mom would praise them (she never had anything but criticism of my appearance). But mostly I just didn't like talking about my friends like that. It was objectifying, and the stuff she was focused on was not the stuff I was interested in. They weren't my friends because they were pretty or thin or had beautiful hair. I might appreciate those things about them but it was incidental to our friendship. So my mom's focus on it felt weird. I guess eventually she figured it out because she stopped, though.

She still criticizes my appearance regularly though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My favorite is, “She has such a pretty face.” In other words, she’s fat.

Yep. My mother will then speculate about what size the woman wears and what size she should wear if she's not in denial anymore.

I hear a lot about who is a "classic beauty" and who is "as big as a minute."

She admires a friend of hers who has gotten well over a dozen plastic surgeries. The poor woman looks like she should stopped about 8 surgeries ago.

[Anonymous]

Not my mother, thankfully. But I definitely notice it when DH’s mom gets together with relatives — they gossip openly about so and so being so attractive etc. my mom will occasionally do it too, don’t get me wrong, but I think she thinks it’s pointless to do it. I will say I have a drop dead gorgeous cousin and was always jealous of her looks growing up. It didn’t help that my grandma and aunts etc would go on and on about how gorgeous she was.

[Anonymous]

When I tell my mom about getting together with or hearing from an old friend from my childhood days she will say "Is she still pretty. I remember how pretty she used to be! What a cute little thing she was. Does she still have her figure?"

She could be winning the Nobel prize or curing cancer and my mom would be saying "Yes, but is she good looking still?"

[Anonymous]

I once dated a guy many years ago who's mom was morbidly obese. Even she commented on who got fat, who was thin, who was pretty. She had gone to a a special overweight intervention program at a University and she loved to gossip about who gained back all the weight...she was one of those people.

[Anonymous]

Yes, same age. The worst part is she is always right.

[Anonymous]

My mother talks trash about everyone. I was the smart daughter abd my sister was beautiful. When I turned thirty, my mom said I looked like my sister. That was her way of saying I had become beautiful. It is disgusting and sad at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother talks trash about everyone. I was the smart daughter abd my sister was beautiful. When I turned thirty, my mom said I looked like my sister. That was her way of saying I had become beautiful. It is disgusting and sad at the same time.

My mom trashes everyone too, but used to remind us never to gossip.

[Anonymous]

Yes… and she’s obese.

[Anonymous]

Yes! My mom 80. But I thought it was because she was a great beauty herself back in the day. Voted best nose best eyes best lips best figure. I said mom that’s pretty much everything. Luckily I came out very attractive because she would’ve had a field day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother talks trash about everyone. I was the smart daughter abd my sister was beautiful. When I turned thirty, my mom said I looked like my sister. That was her way of saying I had become beautiful. It is disgusting and sad at the same time.

My mom trashes everyone too, but used to remind us never to gossip.

[Anonymous]

Yes! AND my father does it- in particular he comments negatively about overweight people all - the - time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes! AND my father does it- in particular he comments negatively about overweight people all - the - time.

Yes, my dad Ford this! My mom does not do this. she’s a very kind person and not very judgmental at all; my dad is the judgmental jerk in their relationship!