Talk me out of the proverbial tree

[Anonymous]

I am very frustrated today b/c I got a positive OPK yesterday morning, but since DH has been sick for a week and half and refuses to properly take care of himself, we could not do the deed. Basically he went to work sick and had to come home early; when I got home he was asleep and didn't wake up until 7:30. He looked like shit and I could tell he wasn't feeling well. He has an engagement tonight that he insists he must go to; by the time he gets home it will be 10:30 and I know I will be exhausted from handling our son by myself. I also know he will come home feeling like crap and frankly, I don't feel like having sex with someone who is coughing up a damned lung. I feel like I am killing myself to achieve this pregnancy - charting, temping, OPK's, strict healthy diet, refraining from alcohol, cutting caffeine, etc and he can't even do the basics - stay home from work when sick, make time for sex during the window, etc. Am I being too hard on him or do I have a right to be irritated?

[Anonymous]

No, OP you have a right to be irritated but the question is, is it just this week or is he not making it a priority? Unfortunately the TTC/ IF responisbilities fall on the female more than the male unless you are dealing with male factor and even then the female still has to do more! I think you need to let him rest, feel better then discuss it with him calmly. If you there isnt a time to discuss it, I find sometimes emailing my husband, letting him know exactly what the issue is, gives him time to think about things rather than springing it on him. Your husband my not realize how much you are doing- I know I know, he should.... good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Take a page from the "Parenthood" show and send him an invite for "Funkytown"

[Anonymous]

PP here. Seriously, maybe you just take a month off. But next month, go for the Funkytown schedule.

Men are really not their best selves when they're sick. Complete babies, right? Not sure if their sperm act as incompetent as they do when the body is sick, but if they do, then you may as well wait a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Seriously, maybe you just take a month off. But next month, go for the Funkytown schedule.

Men are really not their best selves when they're sick. Complete babies, right? Not sure if their sperm act as incompetent as they do when the body is sick, but if they do, then you may as well wait a month.

Well, it's sort of a moot point at this point, but fact is I didn't really want to wait a month. I can feel the clock ticking, we're not getting any younger, and we've already been at it for many months without success. It feels like a wasted opportunity and if he had taken care of himself at the beginning of this cold/whatever, he wouldn't still be this sick 10+ days later.

[Anonymous]

It's irritating, but be careful about how much pressure you put on him for TTC. You don't want to start a whole performance anxiety issue.