How is working 11am-7pm with kids?

Anonymous
Has anyone had this schedule?

The kids would still be up when I get home but I have never worked this schedule before.
Anonymous
How old are your kids? If they are older (school age) are they involved in activities? Will they be able to get to their activities?
Anonymous
My husband does this (works more like 11-8 or later). It only works because I work 8:30 to 5. Otherwise we would definitely need an afternoon nanny or au pair. We might still need that in the next year or two when my second kid enters school. Once they're in school, it's really hard to have one or both parents with this schedule and still fit in kids' activities and homework.
Anonymous
What's the point of staying home so late in the mornings? I'd rather do 10-6. Still plenty of time in the AM for a doctor's appt or a couple of errands before work, but more time at home when the kids are awake.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:What's the point of staying home so late in the mornings? I'd rather do 10-6. Still plenty of time in the AM for a doctor's appt or a couple of errands before work, but more time at home when the kids are awake.


Maybe she doesn't have a choice? My husband who works 11-8 or 9 doesn't. He works at a newspaper and those are the hours he's needed.
Anonymous
This kind of arrangement broke up my sister's marriage. They never saw each other and were on different body clocks. They couldn't effectively parent as a team b/c they were rarely together with their kids. They were like two single parents living under one roof. It was terrible for the kids. Don't do this unless you have no other choice.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This kind of arrangement broke up my sister's marriage. They never saw each other and were on different body clocks. They couldn't effectively parent as a team b/c they were rarely together with their kids. They were like two single parents living under one roof. It was terrible for the kids. Don't do this unless you have no other choice.


What "kind of arrangement"? Working 11-7, or staggering schedules? I'm the PP who staggers schedules, and I will admit that it isn't optimal for our relationship, but if you want to make your marriage work you make time to be together and find ways to communicate. And I don't see why it's per se terrible for the kids. They get to spend time in the morning with their father and time in the evening with me. Who says you have to be spending time with both parents at the same time to have a decent life?
Anonymous
It's fucking miserable. The problem with it is that you don't share moments as a family. One of you always gets the kids at the ass end of the day. You have no flexibility to do anything you may want or need to do, work late, take a class see a friend anything. You don't share experiences as a family, one of you is always telling the other what was funny or cute or difficult. You don't have another adult around who can share in the not so pleasant moments. The PP is right, you essentially become two single parents living in the same house. It's very difficult to come back from that. One parent never gets to experience Johnny's piano lesson while the other one always does. You rarely function in the community or at evening school events as a family. That is a powerful thing and sends a powerful message. Me, I'd not do it, nor would I agree to be ina relationship where this happened. I did it once so I speak from experience.
Anonymous
If your DH/DW can't live with it, find a new job. My DW couldn't and we nearly broke up.
Anonymous
My husband does this a couple days a week. The other days he starts between 7/7:30 am. Our child is still young so daddy spends some fun time with him in the morning on those later days. They go for long bike rides, explore new parks etc. we are starting to have dinner later now so we wait for dad to get home on his late days. He likes the differing schedules.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It's fucking miserable. The problem with it is that you don't share moments as a family. One of you always gets the kids at the ass end of the day. You have no flexibility to do anything you may want or need to do, work late, take a class see a friend anything. You don't share experiences as a family, one of you is always telling the other what was funny or cute or difficult. You don't have another adult around who can share in the not so pleasant moments. The PP is right, you essentially become two single parents living in the same house. It's very difficult to come back from that. One parent never gets to experience Johnny's piano lesson while the other one always does. You rarely function in the community or at evening school events as a family. That is a powerful thing and sends a powerful message. Me, I'd not do it, nor would I agree to be ina relationship where this happened. I did it once so I speak from experience.


I'm 15:19, and like I said, it's not optimal for a lot of the reasons you note. It is definitely a drag sometimes, and I would love it if my husband got home at 5. But many people live with situations where both parents don't work 9-5. In many, someone works a night shift. In others, one parent works super-long hours and the other SAH. And people make it work and function in their community and give their kids a happy life. In my view, it's not worth ending my marriage for, and it's also not worth making my husband give up his career, which he finds fulfilling.
Anonymous
I work this schedule, also at a newspaper. It can be tough, because you'll often be missing dinner together unless your family decides to eat really late. You may still get time with them before bedtime to hang out, play games, help with homework or whatever your family does in the evenings. If you can, see about flexibility, like being able to work from home on occasion or sometimes shifting your hours earlier on a given day depending on what you have to do at work that day.
Anonymous
OP here. The schedule isn't flexible time wise so it would always be 11-7. The plus is that my weekends would be free more often. We have done all types of schedules in our house, from overnight job parent with day job parent to a sah parent with the other parent working weekday and weekend. My job will always have some weekend work, especially in busy months but this switch would be going primarily weekday instead.

The issue we have had so far with two weekend working parents is that we miss parties, activities, etc... As our oldest enters school, this is not going to get easier is what I anticipate.

So now, it is back to how to work our schedules into a way that will work for our kids and for us.
Anonymous
I don't really see how this is any different from a parent that works long hours. My DH works until at least 7 pm most nights, some days longer. I wah full time and do a majority of child related things. His job isn't always like this bit I don't find it a deal breaker. It is his career and he loves what he does. He makes up for the lack of kid time in the evenings by being as hands on as possible in the mornings and we spend our weekends together. I don't see why this schedule would be too much of a problem. At least the mornings are clear to deal with appointments or goi to the gym. A lot of people work 7 to 7 without any free time.
Anonymous
I haven't done it but i think there could be ways to make it ok--for example parent leaving later could do some time in the morning prepping dinner, straightening up house that would take the burden off the other parent. My husband is often home at 7:30 and he doesn't really do any of that and I get by.
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