asking for money for hosting teens tacky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m always happy to contribute and I think most parents want to. Asking for money is tacky though. If you really want people to contribute, I’d do a grocery list in a Google sheet and ask people to sign up to bring things. It’s annoying to have to buy and pack groceries to send but as a parent, I’d still gladly do it knowing that my kid will be eating there all week.

It’s not about money, choosy beggar, it’s about sharing the effort as a group. I guess you’re the mom that makes Google spreadsheets. To be fair, that’s more embarrassing than asking teens to buy what they want to eat, but you do you. It’s dumb, but don’t let that stop you from doing it next time you’re hosting seven for a week, which will never happen anyways, because as we all know choosy beggar generosity is very limited.

The rest of us sane people will take the teens to the grocery store in the first day, everyone puts in the cart what they want to eat and in the end divide the bill fairly. No need to “gladly” bring groceries from home, no expectation for you to send scented candles and aromatic oils, or to have your kid treat everyone with frozen pizza one of the nights to show their appreciation, or to set up a Google spreadsheet trying to figure out who wants what cereal in the morning.

It’s obvious you’ve never done a hosting like this, so it’s funny how you have all these cumbersome ideas and suggestions on how the host should run her house on top of judging and badmouthing her as tacky. If you want to see low class, cheap, trashy and tacky, look in the mirror.

Every time you type this idiotic catch phrase, you look dumber and dumber. If that’s your goal, please, do continue.

You are a choosy beggar, it’s pretty much the textbook example. A choosy beggar wants something that is expensive, the beach vacation, for free, and complains when they have to contribute a small amount that only befits themselves, the groceries.

How is that not choosy begging? It is 100% choosy begging.

+1 that’s it’s a choosing beggar. Nothing more off putting than freeloaders that are demanding someone else foot the bill for their benefit.

[Anonymous]

I’m visiting my kid at college and will take that many kids out to dinner tonight, so my answer is no.

But, if you really can’t manage, you need DS to manage it with his friends. Do not reach out to parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

Most of us gladly feed people and pay.

You don’t ever do things like this. One dinner is nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m visiting my kid at college and will take that many kids out to dinner tonight, so my answer is no.

But, if you really can’t manage, you need DS to manage it with his friends. Do not reach out to parents.

Not remotely the same. Are you cooking the dinner and doing the dishes? Plan to wake up and do it again for 3 meals the next day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m visiting my kid at college and will take that many kids out to dinner tonight, so my answer is no.

But, if you really can’t manage, you need DS to manage it with his friends. Do not reach out to parents.

I can smell this lie from a mile away. What’s next you’ll take them to Hawaii and pay for everything yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Live a life of generosity since you have the resources. Don't be a penny pincher.

But if you really want to do this. Your son could put kids in charge of meals. So one kid bring bagels for 8. Another kid brings eggs and bacon. A different kid brings hamburgers etc. Way less tacky.

How is that really any different? Are the kids shopping for the burgers or their parents? By offering to dothe shopping after the kids chip in its a wash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m always happy to contribute and I think most parents want to. Asking for money is tacky though. If you really want people to contribute, I’d do a grocery list in a Google sheet and ask people to sign up to bring things. It’s annoying to have to buy and pack groceries to send but as a parent, I’d still gladly do it knowing that my kid will be eating there all week.

It’s not about money, choosy beggar, it’s about sharing the effort as a group. I guess you’re the mom that makes Google spreadsheets. To be fair, that’s more embarrassing than asking teens to buy what they want to eat, but you do you. It’s dumb, but don’t let that stop you from doing it next time you’re hosting seven for a week, which will never happen anyways, because as we all know choosy beggar generosity is very limited.

The rest of us sane people will take the teens to the grocery store in the first day, everyone puts in the cart what they want to eat and in the end divide the bill fairly. No need to “gladly” bring groceries from home, no expectation for you to send scented candles and aromatic oils, or to have your kid treat everyone with frozen pizza one of the nights to show their appreciation, or to set up a Google spreadsheet trying to figure out who wants what cereal in the morning.

It’s obvious you’ve never done a hosting like this, so it’s funny how you have all these cumbersome ideas and suggestions on how the host should run her house on top of judging and badmouthing her as tacky. If you want to see low class, cheap, trashy and tacky, look in the mirror.

Every time you type this idiotic catch phrase, you look dumber and dumber. If that’s your goal, please, do continue.

You are a choosy beggar, it’s pretty much the textbook example. A choosy beggar wants something that is expensive, the beach vacation, for free, and complains when they have to contribute a small amount that only befits themselves, the groceries.

How is that not choosy begging? It is 100% choosy begging.

The kids are not asking for the trip. Op is offering the trip to entertain her child. It’s not expensive as they own the house and are using it. You can get $7 pizzas at pizza hut. 5 pizzas is not very much. Get a few boxes of pasta and sauce. $10-15 max. Eggs and pancake mix, $10 too. It’s not hard to feed kids cheaply.

What are you talking about? Of course the kids are asking. They aren't 5 and it's not like OP was going to go alone to the beach and needs all these people to entertain her kid. You're in some kind of little kid mindset because that's your life.

This is like if a group of friends decided to take a weekend trip together and discussed various resorts or AirBnBs until someone said "why don't we use my beach house". The takers in here would appear to think that means that friend is "the host" and now all expenses are on them. Versus that person just offering up the house to save everyone else some money and hassle. This person was never going to foot the bill for this type of trip. The right thing to do is offer chip in for all the food and supplies and if they were actually nice the friends would cover the home owners portion as a thank you for sharing her home.

This isn’t similar to a group of adults taking a vacation together. Op owns the house and invited the kids. And, now wants to be paid for it.

Nope. The kids clearly came up with this plan. 17 yr olds make the plans you don’t have an older teen.

[Anonymous]

I would never in a million years become involved in hosting something like this. But if I did, I would probably just pay for the food. Many of my son's friends are less affluent than we are, so I would feel awkward taking money.

[Anonymous]

It is awkward asking for money as a host but I think for the situation described, most wouldn't bat an eye. Or should NOT bat an eye.

But I understand that it is awkward to ask. If my kid was invited and I was asked to contribute grocery money, I would be happy the host proactively asked instead of begrudgingly complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m visiting my kid at college and will take that many kids out to dinner tonight, so my answer is no.

But, if you really can’t manage, you need DS to manage it with his friends. Do not reach out to parents.

Not remotely the same. Are you cooking the dinner and doing the dishes? Plan to wake up and do it again for 3 meals the next day?

Get paper plates and ask the kids to help cook and clean up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m visiting my kid at college and will take that many kids out to dinner tonight, so my answer is no.

But, if you really can’t manage, you need DS to manage it with his friends. Do not reach out to parents.

I can smell this lie from a mile away. What’s next you’ll take them to Hawaii and pay for everything yourself?

If I had my kid invite a friend to a vacation, yes, we'd pay for it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

Most of us gladly feed people and pay.

You don’t ever do things like this. One dinner is nothing.

I regularly feed kids - especially the HS sports team. I provide all the food, cook and clean up. Usually, we rotate homes but I do the bulk of it and don't complain. Its easy to do it cheaply for 20-25 kids. Usually its weekly for 10 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

Most of us gladly feed people and pay.

You don’t ever do things like this. One dinner is nothing.

I regularly feed kids - especially the HS sports team. I provide all the food, cook and clean up. Usually, we rotate homes but I do the bulk of it and don't complain. Its easy to do it cheaply for 20-25 kids. Usually its weekly for 10 weeks.

So even you admit you are the outlier and are taken advantage of….so that’s fine, but the majority of the other parents aren’t willing to do this it seems even once.

[Anonymous]

I avoid all of this by not having a beach house and not inviting a bunch of kids over for the week. Easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

Most of us gladly feed people and pay.

You don’t ever do things like this. One dinner is nothing.

I regularly feed kids - especially the HS sports team. I provide all the food, cook and clean up. Usually, we rotate homes but I do the bulk of it and don't complain. It’s easy to do it cheaply for 20-25 kids. Usually it’s weekly for 10 weeks.

You seriously need to stop making things up. Why are the high school teams of 20-25 teens regularly coming to your house? What’s the purpose? Never heard of this in my entire life.