is anyone worried about their kid finding their spouse in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t send your children to states with strong political and ideological differences from your own family.

Don’t forget value differences. Why I, a native Midwesterner, would never send my kid to an east coast rich kid school. No moral fiber, no work ethic. Lots of plastic surgery and second/third marriages.

Political differences I (as a moderate D) can overlook, within reason. Values are non-negotiable.

So you really think east coast rich kids have no values and everyone has had plastic surgery? You sound downright stupid.

My sons are east coast rich kids, HADES boarding schools, Ivies and all. I sincerely hope they never meet someone who was parented by you.

Yup. Rich coasties tend to be the absolute worst humans at colleges. Toxic, privileged, incredibly high incidence of mental and emotional disorders, shallow and lacking work ethic. And remarkably provincial, despite their self-avowed sophistication.

Just an awful combination of entitlement, ignorance, and lack of values. Gimme a bunch of farm kids from Minnesota all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t send your children to states with strong political and ideological differences from your own family.

Don’t forget value differences. Why I, a native Midwesterner, would never send my kid to an east coast rich kid school. No moral fiber, no work ethic. Lots of plastic surgery and second/third marriages.

Political differences I (as a moderate D) can overlook, within reason. Values are non-negotiable.

So you really think east coast rich kids have no values and everyone has had plastic surgery? You sound downright stupid.

My sons are east coast rich kids, HADES boarding schools, Ivies and all. I sincerely hope they never meet someone who was parented by you.

Yup. Rich coasties tend to be the absolute worst humans at colleges. Toxic, privileged, incredibly high incidence of mental and emotional disorders, shallow and lacking work ethic. And remarkably provincial, despite their self-avowed sophistication.

Just an awful combination of entitlement, ignorance, and lack of values. Gimme a bunch of farm kids from Minnesota all day.

You don't leave your trailer very often, do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t “hope” that she does, but yes I want her at a place where the person would be a good fit IF it happens. That’s why I don’t want her too far away. I don’t want her just settling down in Boston or Atlanta or wherever. I did meet DH in college.

I understand that you want to live near your daughter but you need to place that burden on yourself, not her. Otherwise, you’re just being controlling. Your daughter gets to decide who to marry, where to live, etc. make peace with that reality now and you will be happier and enjoy a better long term relationship with your child.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is the farthest thing from freshman DD’s mind, but she would like to go on a date for the first time in her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is the farthest thing from freshman DD’s mind, but she would like to go on a date for the first time in her life.

My God. Maybe you should send your kid to BYU for an MRS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t send your children to states with strong political and ideological differences from your own family.

Don’t forget value differences. Why I, a native Midwesterner, would never send my kid to an east coast rich kid school. No moral fiber, no work ethic. Lots of plastic surgery and second/third marriages.

Political differences I (as a moderate D) can overlook, within reason. Values are non-negotiable.

So you really think east coast rich kids have no values and everyone has had plastic surgery? You sound downright stupid.

My sons are east coast rich kids, HADES boarding schools, Ivies and all. I sincerely hope they never meet someone who was parented by you.

Yup. Rich coasties tend to be the absolute worst humans at colleges. Toxic, privileged, incredibly high incidence of mental and emotional disorders, shallow and lacking work ethic. And remarkably provincial, despite their self-avowed sophistication.

Just an awful combination of entitlement, ignorance, and lack of values. Gimme a bunch of farm kids from Minnesota all day.

Your response reeks of jealousy. And expressing a preference for those hailing from flyover country exposes just how vulgar you truly are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is the farthest thing from freshman DD’s mind, but she would like to go on a date for the first time in her life.

My God. Maybe you should send your kid to BYU for an MRS.

Different poster. But I don't think wanting a date somewhere between the ages of 18 and 22 is an unreasonable thing to want when you're in college. It's sad that dating is so grim at so many colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t send your children to states with strong political and ideological differences from your own family.

Don’t forget value differences. Why I, a native Midwesterner, would never send my kid to an east coast rich kid school. No moral fiber, no work ethic. Lots of plastic surgery and second/third marriages.

Political differences I (as a moderate D) can overlook, within reason. Values are non-negotiable.

So you really think east coast rich kids have no values and everyone has had plastic surgery? You sound downright stupid.

My sons are east coast rich kids, HADES boarding schools, Ivies and all. I sincerely hope they never meet someone who was parented by you.

Yup. Rich coasties tend to be the absolute worst humans at colleges. Toxic, privileged, incredibly high incidence of mental and emotional disorders, shallow and lacking work ethic. And remarkably provincial, despite their self-avowed sophistication.

Just an awful combination of entitlement, ignorance, and lack of values. Gimme a bunch of farm kids from Minnesota all day.

You don't leave your trailer very often, do you?

Thank you for proving the point. Toxic, privileged and provincial, all in one package.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t send your children to states with strong political and ideological differences from your own family.

Don’t forget value differences. Why I, a native Midwesterner, would never send my kid to an east coast rich kid school. No moral fiber, no work ethic. Lots of plastic surgery and second/third marriages.

Political differences I (as a moderate D) can overlook, within reason. Values are non-negotiable.

So you really think east coast rich kids have no values and everyone has had plastic surgery? You sound downright stupid.

My sons are east coast rich kids, HADES boarding schools, Ivies and all. I sincerely hope they never meet someone who was parented by you.

Yup. Rich coasties tend to be the absolute worst humans at colleges. Toxic, privileged, incredibly high incidence of mental and emotional disorders, shallow and lacking work ethic. And remarkably provincial, despite their self-avowed sophistication.

Just an awful combination of entitlement, ignorance, and lack of values. Gimme a bunch of farm kids from Minnesota all day.

Your response reeks of jealousy. And expressing a preference for those hailing from flyover country exposes just how vulgar you truly are.

Jealous of what, exactly? The broken families? The privileged but emotionally damaged kids. The superficiality?

Oh, you must mean the $$$. Nope, got enough of that.

[Anonymous]

I have not read twenty pages of this thread but I really hope that my kids don’t get married until they are in their 30s. Every single wedding
I went to for people who met in college and got married afterwards has ended in divorce. None of the couples who married in their 30s or later have gotten divorced.

You simply change so much over the course of 18-28/30. It’s also the time to find out who YOU are without constraints of being defined by another person or your family. Divorce is really hard and traumatic to people. It permanently scars kids. Blended families never work. I just wouldn’t want my kids to put themselves at such a high risk for a bad outcome.

As for where they live, I want them to go where they are happy. If that’s very far away, it’s OK. I view my job as a parent as giving them life not stealing theirs to extend mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is the farthest thing from freshman DD’s mind, but she would like to go on a date for the first time in her life.

My God. Maybe you should send your kid to BYU for an MRS.

Different poster. You think wanting to
date at ages 18-22 is weird?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is the farthest thing from freshman DD’s mind, but she would like to go on a date for the first time in her life.

My God. Maybe you should send your kid to BYU for an MRS.

Different poster. You think wanting to
date at ages 18-22 is weird?

+1. It’s weird if someone in that range does NOT want to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not read twenty pages of this thread but I really hope that my kids don’t get married until they are in their 30s. Every single wedding
I went to for people who met in college and got married afterwards has ended in divorce. None of the couples who married in their 30s or later have gotten divorced.

You simply change so much over the course of 18-28/30. It’s also the time to find out who YOU are without constraints of being defined by another person or your family. Divorce is really hard and traumatic to people. It permanently scars kids. Blended families never work. I just wouldn’t want my kids to put themselves at such a high risk for a bad outcome.

As for where they live, I want them to go where they are happy. If that’s very far away, it’s OK. I view my job as a parent as giving them life not stealing theirs to extend mine.

If any DDs, look out: 30s become 40s mighty quick. Never plan on 30s.

[Anonymous]

DD is destined for one of the Ivies; her books include 2 legacy parents as well as grandparents, significant alumni giving over many years, etc. Admission is not in doubt.

However, we do feel some trepidation at the rapidly growing demographic crisis affecting our respective Alma maters and how it may affect the pool of eligible suitors for her.

[Anonymous]

Regarding the concern of kids meeting a partner in college: My peers had 2 waves of marriage. First group was around mid to late 20's after college/grad school and the other wave was late 30's. The latter 30's group were professional woman who struggled to find a partner. These were all smart, beautiful and fun women. It's more difficult outside of school, particularly these days with workplace restrictions on dating due to possible grounds for harassment. We have 3 kids. One met partner in college (married age 28), 1 met a coworker and hid their relationship for 2 years, and 1 is in college and still dating a hs boyfriend long distance. I also have 3 beautiful single nieces age 28-34 that are struggling to meet someone and so frustrated with online dating. Gone are the days of meeting someone at a party, bar or work. Its not easy... Although I am in no rush to have my kids marry, I am aware of the current challenging dating dynamics and limitations outside a school and workplace environment.