Why are some parents so cold and unfriendly?

[Anonymous]

“Seeing someone” is interesting because while you might see and home in on the same handful of parents, you’ve been invisible to them. They honestly have no freaking clue who you are. So it’s super awk because you have built up this parasocial “we totally know each other because we’ve totally bumped into each other tons of times at school” thing but from their point of view they legitimately have no idea who the hell you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Seeing someone” is interesting because while you might see and home in on the same handful of parents, you’ve been invisible to them. They honestly have no freaking clue who you are. So it’s super awk because you have built up this parasocial “we totally know each other because we’ve totally bumped into each other tons of times at school” thing but from their point of view they legitimately have no idea who the hell you are.

Are you on the spectrum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

DC is the most status obsessed ruthless striver town in America. It is full of the creepiest, pushiest, most invasive and obnoxious social climbers and mentally unwell weirdos. When you steep in such a toxic ethos, it’s perfectly natural to have your guard up and be hyper selective about who you associate with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Seeing someone” is interesting because while you might see and home in on the same handful of parents, you’ve been invisible to them. They honestly have no freaking clue who you are. So it’s super awk because you have built up this parasocial “we totally know each other because we’ve totally bumped into each other tons of times at school” thing but from their point of view they legitimately have no idea who the hell you are.

Are you on the spectrum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Seeing someone” is interesting because while you might see and home in on the same handful of parents, you’ve been invisible to them. They honestly have no freaking clue who you are. So it’s super awk because you have built up this parasocial “we totally know each other because we’ve totally bumped into each other tons of times at school” thing but from their point of view they legitimately have no idea who the hell you are.

Are you on the spectrum?

So, yes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

[Anonymous]

I’m not particularly friendly because I’ve been burned too many times by social climbers who want to use me for either connections or something I can provide them. I’m cautious now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Seeing someone” is interesting because while you might see and home in on the same handful of parents, you’ve been invisible to them. They honestly have no freaking clue who you are. So it’s super awk because you have built up this parasocial “we totally know each other because we’ve totally bumped into each other tons of times at school” thing but from their point of view they legitimately have no idea who the hell you are.

Are you on the spectrum?

It always makes me laugh when people use this gif to prove how little they care because when Don says this on the show, you know he's actually deeply threatened by Ginsberg and is 100% lying when he says this. That's the whole point of the scene -- Don, as usual, is lying to himself and others about his true self.

Carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not particularly friendly because I’ve been burned too many times by social climbers who want to use me for either connections or something I can provide them. I’m cautious now.

this an actual valid reason to be cold and unfriendly, the delulu climbers who want to act brand new IRL, but are covered in Old Bay, phishing and spamming school directories, are the ones who have a right to stop typing. Anything hypocritical thing you type is being used against you in these forum pages and its real cray cray.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Seeing someone” is interesting because while you might see and home in on the same handful of parents, you’ve been invisible to them. They honestly have no freaking clue who you are. So it’s super awk because you have built up this parasocial “we totally know each other because we’ve totally bumped into each other tons of times at school” thing but from their point of view they legitimately have no idea who the hell you are.

Are you on the spectrum?

It always makes me laugh when people use this gif to prove how little they care because when Don says this on the show, you know he's actually deeply threatened by Ginsberg and is 100% lying when he says this. That's the whole point of the scene -- Don, as usual, is lying to himself and others about his true self.

Carry on.

+1

Ginsberg read him for filth and Don, being the completely fabricated and hollow shell that he is, knew it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

As the saying goes …

“Normal people: Hey man how’s it going”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are attending events as mutes in order to people watch and eavesdrop on other people’s interactions…is that what we are doing now? I get going to a school event to support your kids and be involved with what is going on at the school. But I don’t understand the angst directed at people who want to stay on and socialize and casually converse with the “community” that they may one day need to rely on…it’s not just other parents…it’s the teachers and staff. That’s the bizarre tone of the trolls regurgitating the same weak argument throughout this thread.

Not having any mutuals (read social "ins") at your kid's school sets off red flags. A lot of parents are feds, trained to be extremely wary around randoms trying to chat. Bottom line, we don't know you and we're frankly not interested in knowing you. That's not a me/us problem, it's a you problem for being offended. This thread is full of deeply presumptuous people with a lack of self awareness. Stop trying to force yourself on others. We just want to be left alone and associate with people we know and have vetted.

DP. This might be one of the weirdest threads I’ve ever seen on DCUM and that is saying something. And you might be the weirdest person on it. What’s up with your obsession with vetting? If you are this paranoid because of your line of work, go get some help. You’re a net negative in the community. I would bet money that whoever you think your friends are probably talk badly about you behind your back.

Driving the point home that from their POV you are a random ass stranger. You crazies have such audacity to believe everyone you seek to orbit MUST give you their undivided attention because your kid is randomly 1 of 500 or 1 or 2,000 at the same school. We. Don’t. Know. You.

“Seeing someone” a bunch of times somewhere doesn’t make you likely friends. I would see the same people on the Metro often twice a day. Outside of a random non-verbal nod, I never had the impulse to say a single word to them.

Taking it personal and whining in DCUM threads about this issue just proves there’s something off about you and their snap judgment of you is accurate. You warrant the icing. Sorry you’re middle aged with so few friends. The rest of us don’t have that problem and aren’t desperate for more.

If you don’t know how to make small talk with acquaintances without thinking they are “orbiting” you, you’re either neurodiverse or you were raised poorly.

Just being honest. You want this thread to be an echo chamber full of desperate social outcasts blaming everyone else. Just giving you the other side of the coin. Bottom line, they’re not interested. Strangers don’t owe you their time, kindness, chit-chat…or anything for that matter.

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!!!”

For people so sure of their social skills they don't seem very good at sizing people up, reading body language, and identifying the social and friendly people who want to chat. It's really not that hard but some people are coming across like annoying puppies who just go up to everyone oblivious to the cues and body language their targets are putting out.

The irony here is that I actually do not care enough about you individually to put that much effort into figuring out if I'm "allowed" to say benign things like "how's it going?" or "oh, which kid is yours?" The world does not revolve around you and I do not care if you are "put out" by a very minimal level of human interaction.

I don't even like interacting with other parents much either but view it as part of the gig. Get over yourself.

It's a real mystery why you're struggling at school. You seem so..... pleasant.