Half of British women reach age 30 without having a child

[Anonymous]

I never had kids because I found it creepy to think of having a mini me running around so a physical aversion and zero maternal instinct. I am older and live in an area full of even older seniors. I have had a few tell me in whispers that they don't like grandchildren and that I am lucky. It's this dirty little secret. The way I handled not having kids was by saying "God never blessed me with any children." It works like a charm.

[Anonymous]

There's a thread in the Family Relationships forum about a daughter whose mom expects her to provide the SAME level of care that she provided to her own mom (OP's grandma) and it isn't realistic. I know, because my grandmother birthed 7 kids, 5 kids lived until adulthood, and still died alone in a hospital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well everyone I know who married their college sweetheart is still happily married 18-20 years later. See how anecdotes work?

+1. Literally all of them.

Same experience for me. One couple had 7 kids and is still together. Others in their 50s now have grandchildren.

I really wanted to find someone to love and settle down with in college, but the guys I attracted were not into it at all. Had to wait until my late 20s and apparently it was too late for me to have kids at that point due to medical issues. If I had to do it all over again, I would drop the dudes in college who weren't into having an exclusive relationship earlier rather than later, or just date guys in their mid 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well everyone I know who married their college sweetheart is still happily married 18-20 years later. See how anecdotes work?

+1. Literally all of them.

Same experience for me. One couple had 7 kids and is still together. Others in their 50s now have grandchildren.

I really wanted to find someone to love and settle down with in college, but the guys I attracted were not into it at all. Had to wait until my late 20s and apparently it was too late for me to have kids at that point due to medical issues. If I had to do it all over again, I would drop the dudes in college who weren't into having an exclusive relationship earlier rather than later, or just date guys in their mid 20s.

7 kids?! Google images of uterine prolapse.

[Anonymous]

I didn't even get married until I was 31. Who wants to start birthing babies in their 20s anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The good ones are all snapped up in college or grad school. You don’t have to marry right away, but they are all seriously committed by 25. At least in my own experience - this describes everyone I know in a healthy stable marriage with a reasonably equal partner. Even if they waited to marry/have kids, they were together fairly young.

You don’t know if they are stable, as lots of people are floored when friends get divorced, because they never saw it coming. We just never truly know.

+1

Out of the handful of college couples we know who got married, a very high % of those ended in divorce. They were just too young at the time.

You wish everyone was as unfulfilled and unhappy as you, don't you.

I'm good - it's the belligerent nut job who is deeply unhappy. Brunch envy?

It sounds like a handful of you in this thread seethe with rage looking at pure happy young couples who've been together since college. You gleefully seek the ones who divorce -- I knew they'd crash and burn! As if the real key to a happy marriage is being some 30-something washed up party girl lush who's slept with dozens of men, has all the mental baggage and hangups that come from that, been on the pill since age 14, has an instagram full of tourist traps, and equity in a town home. NOW you're ready for marriage and children. I'm NOW financially secure and my fed job will pay for IVF treatments! Where are all the hot bachelor's who make at least $250,000 and have perfect hair, perfect teeth, and rich parents? Hello... anyone?

Not at all.

Just repulsed by judgmental grannies who get belligerent over other people’s life choices.

[Anonymous]

I would have put off having kids until age 50 if possible. My husband and I met at age 24 and had an awesome decade of living for ourselves. Finally decided it was time and had kids at 36 and 38. No regrets. Pregnancies, deliveries, and recoveries were a breeze. All my friends had kids in their 30s. The only friend who needed IVF was back when we were in our 20s. We are now in our early 40s and several friends are having their third kid.

Angry grandma, I know it’s fun to validate your life choices by imagining desperate aging women realizing it’s too late, but lots of us put off childbearing with absolutely no consequences. My body snapped back right away too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, to be respected an shave kids you have to get married first.

How many men now want to get married by the time they are 30 and pop out a couple of kids to support? Very few.

I wasn't able to have kids; I let my college boyfriend string me along until I was 28. By the time I found my dh, it was apparently too late for me to have kids at 35.

A lot of women do want to get married in their early or mid twenties, but very few men do.

I’m a pp and this is my point exactly. All of the men who wanted to (or at least were willing to) marry “young” are already seriously attached by their mid 20’s if not even coming out of college. The ones who don’t care about “sowing oats” and what not.

Np- That was not my experience in my late 20’s.
The men I met at that point all had very specific questions almost immediately.
1) do you have weird tattoos or piercings ?
2) what is you relationship with your family like?
3) what did you study in college?
4) do you want kids?

Point being. I was out at bars and the guys I met were weeding out on the spot.
At least that’s how it seemed to me. I noticed a big shift between 24 and 27.
Did anyone else have this experience? I will add I had a very girl next door cardigan wearing vibe, so that
might have had something to do with it.

[Anonymous]

I still don't understand why the angry granny is so angry? She hates the pill, brunch, shoe shopping, instagram, FRITATTAS for god's sake, dining out, single women (no hate for single men, I see), tourist traps, federal jobs and townhouses! That's a lot of anger!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don't understand why the angry granny is so angry? She hates the pill, brunch, shoe shopping, instagram, FRITATTAS for god's sake, dining out, single women (no hate for single men, I see), tourist traps, federal jobs and townhouses! That's a lot of anger!

I totally agree with Red Pill Granny. These women need to understand that they’re under His Eye. Time to make these Instagram brunchettes into dutiful Handmaids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don't understand why the angry granny is so angry? She hates the pill, brunch, shoe shopping, instagram, FRITATTAS for god's sake, dining out, single women (no hate for single men, I see), tourist traps, federal jobs and townhouses! That's a lot of anger!

I'm someone who got married young (and was and am joyously happy about it) and I still don't get it. I do have equity in a townhouse though, so maybe I'm still one of the Bad Ones.

[Anonymous]

I have kids. I love brunch. A frittata sounds amazing right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a mother is literally THE most important job any woman can do. What other occupation contributes more to humanity than sustaining our species?

Too bad society treats mothers like dirt.

This is the unintended consequence of feminism[b] and “women can do everything men can do.” Yes, women should be able to work and men should do half the housework. But it doesn’t actually work that way. My mom was a working mom in the 80’s (out of necessity not choice) and I saw what a raw deal it was. I was determined to be a SAHM or not at all and that’s what I did. I didn’t and don’t feel treated like dirt, but my only job for the last 15 years has been raising my children and running the house. It’s not actually a bad job if you don’t also have another job. I have two daughters and I will support any choice they make, but I will alert them to this reality.

No. It's about our society not valuing the role or providing support for parents, especially mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don't understand why the angry granny is so angry? She hates the pill, brunch, shoe shopping, instagram, FRITATTAS for god's sake, dining out, single women (no hate for single men, I see), tourist traps, federal jobs and townhouses! That's a lot of anger!

(S)he seems the type who likes pancakes from the box and hoards aunt jemima syrup on ebay as a huge FU to the woke, brunch-obsessed crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still don't understand why the angry granny is so angry? She hates the pill, brunch, shoe shopping, instagram, FRITATTAS for god's sake, dining out, single women (no hate for single men, I see), tourist traps, federal jobs and townhouses! That's a lot of anger!

I'm someone who got married young (and was and am joyously happy about it) and I still don't get it. I do have equity in a townhouse though, so maybe I'm still one of the Bad Ones.

I have two good friends who each got married at age 23, and are still married, happily so, decades later. Both of those friends matured early, understood themselves well and had very definite ideas of what they wanted for marriage and family. One of them wanted to be a virgin at marriage, and the other one married a paraplegic. At 23, I still didn't even know my "type" of guy, and was not socially mature and was not at all equipped for marriage. They support me, and I support them. They didn't want my life, and I would have been bored out of my mind with theirs. But we don't criticize each other's choices, we just acknowledge we are different people. And we're still friends.