what would you do if your spouse was not supportive of your kid sport potential?

[Anonymous]

Okay, my kid definitely have sporting talents(tennis baseball, basketball). Kid is only 12 and after persistent comments from professionals, including one from a top university sport recruiter. Spouse have finally acknowledged maybe there's something different about this kid(we have two), but don't want to make the necessary adjustment to career to help facilitate kid potential. All things have been considered and accounted for, such as academics, kid personal interest.
Looking back now to when kid was a young toddler and as the primary care giver, I can see the potential was already there. Hand/eye coordination and fine/large motor abilities was even acknowledged by our pedi. I am not getting support from spouse - wants kid to grow up and become a lawyer or something. Kid is looking to me to help him follow his dreams, I'm feeling vulnerable. Protective instinct is starting to kick in big time. Anyone else been there?

[Anonymous]

I agree with your husband.

[Anonymous]

What is it specifically that you want from your spouse that he/she is not giving? Can you supplement t your commitment with carpools and paid services?

[Anonymous]

OP - Your post sounds more about you than your kid...

[Anonymous]

Is there a way to compromise? Little Johnny will go to college, but he will also play football?

Is it the sport your spouse doesn't like or the idea of sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with your husband.

Off topic, but I'd love to know where you got the gender from this post?

[Anonymous]

I believe the dream of most 12 year old boys would be to be a professional athlete. The likelihood of your child (at this age) and the kid down the street who you think isn't as good as your kid is about the same. So do sports but your kid's #1 job is school because the likelihood of him being a lawyer rather than a professional athlete is pretty significant. His chances of getting an academic scholarship rather than a athletic scholarship is big too (lost mine due to off season injury).

Your job is to makes sure that your other child doesn't feel left behind or less valued. And that your sports child still has fun with sports.

[Anonymous]

OP here, It's not that spouse doesn't see potential, spouse is unwilling to make career comprises to support johnny. We have never pushed sport on kid. "johnny" went to a camp recently runs by a top university, we were approached by the director of sport operations and some other guy, we were told that "johnny showed a lot of potential, "if he keeps the pace we love for johnny to see us in his future". That didn't faze spouse much. Spouse sees our kid's future as a business professional, a lawyer or something of that sort. We are here now, but spouses business takes us all over the world. There is no way little johnny would be able to follow his sport at it's current level. I don't want to tell johnny because we had to drag you all over you couldn't follow your dreams. Johnny has a bright future either way, but should we just forgo this pursuit because there just .000000001% of johnny becoming successful at it. Spouse would be thrilled if johnny follow in the family business and would do anything to assure his success, but act handicap when johnny wants support for sports. When I see my kid enthusiasm, skill, love for the sports, I hate to just look the other way because there's a very low probability of success. FWIW, I am not a sport person at all, but based on my communications with my kid, I feel a very strong instinct to lookout for him, my other kid is in support of us too. What would be your approach, give up or pursue with consequences?

[Anonymous]

So you want your spouse to change jobs so your son can play sports? That's pretty extreme. There are, however, patents who send their kids into different living situations away from the family so they can pursue sports - Gaby Douglas is an example.

[Anonymous]

Give it up. It's not a realistic dream.

[Anonymous]

Does OP want one spouse to SAM to drive Johnny here and there? In this area it seems most sports have elite levels by age 12 and those kids still go to school, live at home, etc. We need more info!

[Anonymous]

Look it's so so unlikely he will make a living being an athlete. My dh played 4 years at a top university, won a national title, recruited by many professional teams. He was a professional athlete for exactly 7 months. So even if your kid does make it to the top the chances of him staying there long enough to make millions is extremely slim. Not to mention the mind fuck these young adults go threw when the game is finally over after spending the past 15 years focusing on nothing else.

[Anonymous]

You can't depict you child's father. So you are stuck.

Look at IMG academy. It is a boarding school for kids like your child.

Good luck.

I understand, I am in a similar situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't depict you child's father. So you are stuck.

Look at IMG academy. It is a boarding school for kids like your child.

Good luck.

I understand, I am in a similar situation.

Repick not depict

[Anonymous]

Is the issue really about the sports, or about your spouse's choice of profession. You note that spouse will not make any effort, and has a job that requires you to move frequently. We are in a similar boat, but DC is good at a particular subject in school. Living in DC, we are able to provide additional tutoring beyond what the school can provide. We have also moved frequently for work, and if we moved back to some of the places we've been, then DC wouldn't be able to have the options we have here. We decided as a family that the kids and I are staying. DH will try to get a job closer, but if he cannot then he's commuting back on the weekends. I'm not sure if the sacrifice is worth it for sports, but for education we are putting the kid's education first.