Not sure how to feel after chemical pregnancy

[Anonymous]

We've been trying for three months. About 10 days past my most recent ovulation, I noticed my breasts were sore, so I got a pregnancy test. It was positive, and we were so happy. We told our parents, and they were thrilled. Over this past weekend, my period arrived a few days late. I took a pregnancy test and it's now negative. The doctor says it was a chemical pregnancy, and most women don't even notice when they have them. I'm just feeling numb right now. We were so excited, even though we knew that it was very early on. From now on, I'm going to wait until after my missed period to take a pregnancy test.

[Anonymous]

No advice, but I know exactly how you feel. I had an ectopic in July and now have been trying again since late August. Since it was so easy the first time I keep getting my hopes up. A couple of times I was sure--I "felt" pregnant. But of course no luck. So now four cycles and counting, I've learned my lesson not to test till my period is due...

[Anonymous]

I am also just going through a chemical pregnancy. I didn't tell anyone but was so surprised by it. I have had three healthy pregnancies. I am also surprised how sad I am, although I know chemical pregnancies happen a lot. Irish I had never taken a test.

[Anonymous]

You are certainly entitled to feel upset and disappointed. Something like 50% of all first pregnancies end in chemical or miscarriage, so know that you are by far not alone, even if no one talks about it.

[Anonymous]

I hate the term "chemical pregnancy." It's really a very early miscarriage, so feel free to grieve your loss. I've had both early losses and losses later in the first trimester, and for me the early loss hurt my heart as much as the loss at 8 weeks.

[Anonymous]

I'll never understand the profound sadness and grieving that go on after the, er, loss of a ball of cells that's been forming for 10 days. Disappointment, sure. But loss?? Numbness???

What did you actually lose here?

Your doctor is trying to tell you nicely and clinically to buck up. Most women don't even notice they passed the clump of 800 cells, much less hold a funeral for them.

[Anonymous]

And Merry Christmas to you, pp.

Op, having been through an early loss, I also found it hard and grieved longer than I thought I would. Be kind to yourself and please ignore the sort of person who posted at 1437.

[Anonymous]

I had a chemical... It sucks so sorry. Hang in there...

[Anonymous]

Never had a loss but for someone who is trying to conceive, I could see how it is a loss of hope. The excitement of finding out your are pregnant and then losing the pregnancy shortly after must be hard.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. I will say that the women who get pregnant, even if they have chemicals or miscarriages, are usually the women who later have successful pregnancies. I hope this is the case for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll never understand the profound sadness and grieving that go on after the, er, loss of a ball of cells that's been forming for 10 days. Disappointment, sure. But loss?? Numbness???

What did you actually lose here?

Your doctor is trying to tell you nicely and clinically to buck up. Most women don't even notice they passed the clump of 800 cells, much less hold a funeral for them.

How awful and heartless. You were once that little person, PP. We all were.

You suffered an early miscarriage, OP. The little child you conceived was unique, never was before, never will be again. You should grieve.

You were, are, and always will be the mother of that tiny baby. No matter how many children you end up giving birth to, that little one is an integral part of your family, because without him or her, the particular children you end up holding in your arms would never have come to be otherwise.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

It's OK to be sad. I wasn't sure how to feel after mine, either . We were just like you- also 3 months after starting to try. we were so excited when we got the positive, called our families, and then the next day a negative. I got a positive test 3 months later though. It's hard with an early loss. I also lost one of my twins very early on (about 7 weeks) and that was hard too bc we were so excited to have one healthy baby but sad at the loss of the other one. Try to stay positive.

[Anonymous]

sorry, pp here, submitted too soon. Try to stay postitive, hopefully you will get your BFP soon!