Bad dreams about divorce
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Anonymous
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Last night I had another one, that my DH and I were getting divorced. This came after a period (in the dream) of his being really mean to me in front of his friends and other people. It was humiliating. Then he was leaving me for another woman. I was totally devastated and trying to figure out my next move. I don't make nearly as much money as he does and in my dream I was frantically trying to figure out where me and the kids would live. I was torn up about custody and whether I should go for joint or sole.
I woke up feeling awful, anxious and upset. The mood stayed with me all morning. This is not the first time this has happened. I don't know what is going on in my brain. In the light of day, this seems ridiculous, my DH and I have a very happy solid marriage, and if I were to wager I'd say we were going to make it til death do us part, but I am the child of divorce and that had a really big undermining impact on the way I think of marriage. Anyone else? |
Anonymous
| Is there any aspect of your life that's in transition right now? Is there any problem area in your life that you need to resolve by separating yourself (divorcing) from it? Look to these possibilities rather than problems with your marriage. Whatever issue in your life that's troubling you is taking the form of a "divorce" dream for the very reason that the idea of divorce fills you with such deep anxiety. The dream is sending up red flags, then, telling you to pay attention to an issue in your life. |
Anonymous
| Another thing to think about is that the character of your husband in the dream may not necessarily represent your actual husband, but possibly an aspect of you. How might your dream husband's behavior represent a piece of your own personality? |
Anonymous
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Wow, these are good insights!
It makes me nervous that I am not a big earner, even thought I love what I do. There is just no way to make a lot of money in my field, and if anything ever happened to my DH I know I would manage, but it scares me sometimes. It was fine for me when I was single but now I have two kids who depend on me. As for my husband's character in my dream, sometimes it's like I can't really believe there is such a loyal, good man. I didn't have a great childhood and I guess I am waiting for the other shoes to drop. Everything is going fine, really well in fact. Isn't that when awful things happen? |
Anonymous
| He's cheating on you and you are consciously refusing to believe it though subconsciously.... |
Anonymous
It's a subconscious fear manifesting itself in your dream. That's all. Just like forgetting to pick up your child from school or someone you love dying. Completely normal, OP. |
Anonymous
| There have been a few times in my life that I have dreamt big things three times or more (like who I was going to marry, a few tragic events, that sort), and they come true. If this is something that's true for you, accept it as a gift and make moves. Counseling, financial planning.... Etc... |
Anonymous
| You're anxious about what your life would be like without your husband - you've said so. Your dream is simply a manifestation of that. Nothing more. |
Anonymous
| Perhaps this is your subconscious telling you to get your ducks in arow. Does your DH have more than adequate life insurance so that if something should happen to him, you would be financially secure? |
Anonymous
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Goodness, OP. I don't think these dreams are a prophecy of things to come as some PP's are suggesting. Yes, something could happen to your husband/your marraige - and that's something you're anxious about. Of course you should consider how you would fare without him (life insurance, savings, etc).
As an example, during my pregnancy I had several dreams about miscarraige and the dreams centered around me trying to cope. I was terribly anxious about miscarriage (IVF, tough first trimester). I didn't miscarry - I have a healthy daughter. But the "lesson" of my dreams was that I would survive the loss and rebuild. Sometimes your dreams are just your subconcious working through your worst fears so that you can figure out - conciously - how you would deal. |
Anonymous
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OP,
I have a very loving, patient, and kind husband. I've had a few dreams, rare but extremely disturbing, where I have gotten so angry at him that, within the dream, I HATE him. I have dreamt about him doing just terrible, unforgiveable things. I have also dreamt that I was insanely / hatefully angry at him for what, when I woke up, seemed like a small reason (while awake, anyway). It rarely corresponds to anything big between us. Occasionally I've told him, "I just had the worst dream, where you did X...and I was so angry!" He occasionally has dreams where I do something crazy (left him for an imaginary ex boyfriend, etc) but they never correspond to anything major. I think dreams are more complicated than we think. Sometimes we think we're working things out, subconsciously, and maybe we are. I think other times, its just synapses firing erratically, exercising the brain's response functions. Who knows? Hormones certainly impact dreams a ton, and so do certain medications. So stress (not necessarily marriage related) and other things can also have an impact. FWIW, I tend to have really disturbing dreams about other subject matter, as well. Thankfully, not often, but it does happen. Good luck! |
Anonymous
I've had recurring dreams about an ex-boyfriend who turned stalker where I was dating him/getting engaged to him/marrying him. Are any of these things going to happen? No. I've had recurring dreams about walking/running where I suddenly lift off the ground and start flying. Should I find a tall building and test out PP's theory that I should accept the dream as a gift and "make moves" to step off the building? No. Dreams package what's currently bugging your subconscious in the shape of deep, underlying needs/fears, etc. Could be completely trivial. OPs deepest fear is divorce. So if she casually noticed that, for instance, the brand of eggs she bought the other day didn't seem particularly fresh, she could end up having a dream such as the one she describes which is really about her subconscious alerting her to the necessity of making the decision to buy a different brand of eggs the next time she goes grocery shopping - thereby divorcing from the brand she's been buying for, let's say, 10 years. Why would the dream unsettle her to the extent that it did? -Her subconscious could be reacting to the health dangers of bad eggs, and this is one way of expressing her deep concern for her family's health if she continued to blindly trust in the quality of the brand of eggs she's been buying for years. |
Anonymous
| I always have these dreams when DH and I haven't had sex in a few days. It's weird. It used to upset me until I figured out what the trigger was. |
Anonymous
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Thanks everyone.
I do think I am just anxious in general in this economic climate and I worry about our futures and the futures of our children. There are a lot of stressors in my life right now, sick and ailing parents etc., that have made me realize at middle age that while I love my work I did not pick the most lucrative field and it sure does help to have a lot of money when the SHTF. I will try to chill. And have more sex. |