asking for money for hosting teens tacky?

[Anonymous]

Live a life of generosity since you have the resources. Don't be a penny pincher.

But if you really want to do this. Your son could put kids in charge of meals. So one kid bring bagels for 8. Another kid brings eggs and bacon. A different kid brings hamburgers etc. Way less tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m always happy to contribute and I think most parents want to. Asking for money is tacky though. If you really want people to contribute, I’d do a grocery list in a Google sheet and ask people to sign up to bring things. It’s annoying to have to buy and pack groceries to send but as a parent, I’d still gladly do it knowing that my kid will be eating there all week.

It’s not about money, choosy beggar, it’s about sharing the effort as a group. I guess you’re the mom that makes Google spreadsheets. To be fair, that’s more embarrassing than asking teens to buy what they want to eat, but you do you. It’s dumb, but don’t let that stop you from doing it next time you’re hosting seven for a week, which will never happen anyways, because as we all know choosy beggar generosity is very limited.

The rest of us sane people will take the teens to the grocery store in the first day, everyone puts in the cart what they want to eat and in the end divide the bill fairly. No need to “gladly” bring groceries from home, no expectation for you to send scented candles and aromatic oils, or to have your kid treat everyone with frozen pizza one of the nights to show their appreciation, or to set up a Google spreadsheet trying to figure out who wants what cereal in the morning.

It’s obvious you’ve never done a hosting like this, so it’s funny how you have all these cumbersome ideas and suggestions on how the host should run her house on top of judging and badmouthing her as tacky. If you want to see low class, cheap, trashy and tacky, look in the mirror.

Every time you type this idiotic catch phrase, you look dumber and dumber. If that’s your goal, please, do continue.

You are a choosy beggar, it’s pretty much the textbook example. A choosy beggar wants something that is expensive, the beach vacation, for free, and complains when they have to contribute a small amount that only befits themselves, the groceries.

How is that not choosy begging? It is 100% choosy begging.

The kids are not asking for the trip. Op is offering the trip to entertain her child. It’s not expensive as they own the house and are using it. You can get $7 pizzas at pizza hut. 5 pizzas is not very much. Get a few boxes of pasta and sauce. $10-15 max. Eggs and pancake mix, $10 too. It’s not hard to feed kids cheaply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tacky.

One of the joys of owning a vacation home is being a gracious host. Provide food for the home. Expect the teens to go out and pay for their own things outside of the home. Also expect some of them to bring their own snacks.

If a parent asked to contribute I would tell them to send food their child wants to share. I would not accept actual payment.

Agreed. But OP got the cheat code—she inherited the house. So she wants the rep of being the fancy beach house family but wants to charge cover fees.

This is how she covers the expenses as she cannot afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m always happy to contribute and I think most parents want to. Asking for money is tacky though. If you really want people to contribute, I’d do a grocery list in a Google sheet and ask people to sign up to bring things. It’s annoying to have to buy and pack groceries to send but as a parent, I’d still gladly do it knowing that my kid will be eating there all week.

It’s not about money, choosy beggar, it’s about sharing the effort as a group. I guess you’re the mom that makes Google spreadsheets. To be fair, that’s more embarrassing than asking teens to buy what they want to eat, but you do you. It’s dumb, but don’t let that stop you from doing it next time you’re hosting seven for a week, which will never happen anyways, because as we all know choosy beggar generosity is very limited.

The rest of us sane people will take the teens to the grocery store in the first day, everyone puts in the cart what they want to eat and in the end divide the bill fairly. No need to “gladly” bring groceries from home, no expectation for you to send scented candles and aromatic oils, or to have your kid treat everyone with frozen pizza one of the nights to show their appreciation, or to set up a Google spreadsheet trying to figure out who wants what cereal in the morning.

It’s obvious you’ve never done a hosting like this, so it’s funny how you have all these cumbersome ideas and suggestions on how the host should run her house on top of judging and badmouthing her as tacky. If you want to see low class, cheap, trashy and tacky, look in the mirror.

Every time you type this idiotic catch phrase, you look dumber and dumber. If that’s your goal, please, do continue.

You are a choosy beggar, it’s pretty much the textbook example. A choosy beggar wants something that is expensive, the beach vacation, for free, and complains when they have to contribute a small amount that only befits themselves, the groceries.

How is that not choosy begging? It is 100% choosy begging.

The kids are not asking for the trip. Op is offering the trip to entertain her child. It’s not expensive as they own the house and are using it. You can get $7 pizzas at pizza hut. 5 pizzas is not very much. Get a few boxes of pasta and sauce. $10-15 max. Eggs and pancake mix, $10 too. It’s not hard to feed kids cheaply.

Yuck. I’d rather chip in a bit so the kids can eat at least a little bit better than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m always happy to contribute and I think most parents want to. Asking for money is tacky though. If you really want people to contribute, I’d do a grocery list in a Google sheet and ask people to sign up to bring things. It’s annoying to have to buy and pack groceries to send but as a parent, I’d still gladly do it knowing that my kid will be eating there all week.

It’s not about money, choosy beggar, it’s about sharing the effort as a group. I guess you’re the mom that makes Google spreadsheets. To be fair, that’s more embarrassing than asking teens to buy what they want to eat, but you do you. It’s dumb, but don’t let that stop you from doing it next time you’re hosting seven for a week, which will never happen anyways, because as we all know choosy beggar generosity is very limited.

The rest of us sane people will take the teens to the grocery store in the first day, everyone puts in the cart what they want to eat and in the end divide the bill fairly. No need to “gladly” bring groceries from home, no expectation for you to send scented candles and aromatic oils, or to have your kid treat everyone with frozen pizza one of the nights to show their appreciation, or to set up a Google spreadsheet trying to figure out who wants what cereal in the morning.

It’s obvious you’ve never done a hosting like this, so it’s funny how you have all these cumbersome ideas and suggestions on how the host should run her house on top of judging and badmouthing her as tacky. If you want to see low class, cheap, trashy and tacky, look in the mirror.

Every time you type this idiotic catch phrase, you look dumber and dumber. If that’s your goal, please, do continue.

You are a choosy beggar, it’s pretty much the textbook example. A choosy beggar wants something that is expensive, the beach vacation, for free, and complains when they have to contribute a small amount that only befits themselves, the groceries.

How is that not choosy begging? It is 100% choosy begging.

The kids are not asking for the trip. Op is offering the trip to entertain her child. It’s not expensive as they own the house and are using it. You can get $7 pizzas at pizza hut. 5 pizzas is not very much. Get a few boxes of pasta and sauce. $10-15 max. Eggs and pancake mix, $10 too. It’s not hard to feed kids cheaply.

What are you talking about? Of course the kids are asking. They aren't 5 and it's not like OP was going to go alone to the beach and needs all these people to entertain her kid. You're in some kind of little kid mindset because that's your life.

This is like if a group of friends decided to take a weekend trip together and discussed various resorts or AirBnBs until someone said "why don't we use my beach house". The takers in here would appear to think that means that friend is "the host" and now all expenses are on them. Versus that person just offering up the house to save everyone else some money and hassle. This person was never going to foot the bill for this type of trip. The right thing to do is offer chip in for all the food and supplies and if they were actually nice the friends would cover the home owners portion as a thank you for sharing her home.

[Anonymous]

OP I wouldn’t set a dollar amount but maybe just a note to the parents along the lines of “a small contribution towards groceries would be appreciated but not necessary” or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I wouldn’t set a dollar amount but maybe just a note to the parents along the lines of “a small contribution towards groceries would be appreciated but not necessary” or something like that.

Don’t use that phrasing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m always happy to contribute and I think most parents want to. Asking for money is tacky though. If you really want people to contribute, I’d do a grocery list in a Google sheet and ask people to sign up to bring things. It’s annoying to have to buy and pack groceries to send but as a parent, I’d still gladly do it knowing that my kid will be eating there all week.

It’s not about money, choosy beggar, it’s about sharing the effort as a group. I guess you’re the mom that makes Google spreadsheets. To be fair, that’s more embarrassing than asking teens to buy what they want to eat, but you do you. It’s dumb, but don’t let that stop you from doing it next time you’re hosting seven for a week, which will never happen anyways, because as we all know choosy beggar generosity is very limited.

The rest of us sane people will take the teens to the grocery store in the first day, everyone puts in the cart what they want to eat and in the end divide the bill fairly. No need to “gladly” bring groceries from home, no expectation for you to send scented candles and aromatic oils, or to have your kid treat everyone with frozen pizza one of the nights to show their appreciation, or to set up a Google spreadsheet trying to figure out who wants what cereal in the morning.

It’s obvious you’ve never done a hosting like this, so it’s funny how you have all these cumbersome ideas and suggestions on how the host should run her house on top of judging and badmouthing her as tacky. If you want to see low class, cheap, trashy and tacky, look in the mirror.

Every time you type this idiotic catch phrase, you look dumber and dumber. If that’s your goal, please, do continue.

You are a choosy beggar, it’s pretty much the textbook example. A choosy beggar wants something that is expensive, the beach vacation, for free, and complains when they have to contribute a small amount that only befits themselves, the groceries.

How is that not choosy begging? It is 100% choosy begging.

The kids are not asking for the trip. Op is offering the trip to entertain her child. It’s not expensive as they own the house and are using it. You can get $7 pizzas at pizza hut. 5 pizzas is not very much. Get a few boxes of pasta and sauce. $10-15 max. Eggs and pancake mix, $10 too. It’s not hard to feed kids cheaply.

What are you talking about? Of course the kids are asking. They aren't 5 and it's not like OP was going to go alone to the beach and needs all these people to entertain her kid. You're in some kind of little kid mindset because that's your life.

This is like if a group of friends decided to take a weekend trip together and discussed various resorts or AirBnBs until someone said "why don't we use my beach house". The takers in here would appear to think that means that friend is "the host" and now all expenses are on them. Versus that person just offering up the house to save everyone else some money and hassle. This person was never going to foot the bill for this type of trip. The right thing to do is offer chip in for all the food and supplies and if they were actually nice the friends would cover the home owners portion as a thank you for sharing her home.

This isn’t similar to a group of adults taking a vacation together. Op owns the house and invited the kids. And, now wants to be paid for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I wouldn’t set a dollar amount but maybe just a note to the parents along the lines of “a small contribution towards groceries would be appreciated but not necessary” or something like that.

Parents of 17yos don’t communicate about their kids’ plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

At our school, it’s usually the lower income who are generous with food while the wealthier ones use things as a money grab.

Normal is for parents to offer and hosts to decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I wouldn’t set a dollar amount but maybe just a note to the parents along the lines of “a small contribution towards groceries would be appreciated but not necessary” or something like that.

Parents of 17yos don’t communicate about their kids’ plans.

Op should be communicating with parents. Those of us who are responsible parents with teens communicate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those kids (and parents) are lucky to get a free stay in OP's Beach House. Why would OP have to pay for all of the meals for 7!!! 17 year old kids??!! That's a lot of money and if any of the parents think that's ok, they are out of their mind. They should give their kids money to buy snacks and food.

The only people who won't think to offer (which is the tacky part- your kid gets invited, of course you offer) are people who grew up rich and don't even empathize that this could be an expense. Also the takers.

People who grew up poor and normal people would offer to pay for meals as a matter of course.

Wrong.

Plenty of working class immigrant families would feed everyone in an analogous situation. It’s a matter of hospitality and generosity and having class/pride.

Look at ethnic weddings, for example.

Wrong? Did you even read? PP said people who grew up poor would offer to pay.
Even if the host was a working class immigrant themself which is not even a factor in this discussion, and insisting on feeding everyone, working class people would still check and offer. You're not even making sense.

Most of us gladly feed people and pay.