is anyone worried about their kid finding their spouse in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t send your children to states with strong political and ideological differences from your own family.

I have two boys going to Top 20 colleges south of the Mason Dixon line. And they both have serious girlfriends.

And they are not unique. Their male friends also seem to have real relationships by junior and senior year.

The girls are great. Smart, lively, funny, kind. But I don't entirely love the idea of the boys finding partners so young. But real relationships and finding life partners seems to be the norm at their schools. Maybe it's a southern thing. Or maybe it's a good college thing. My sense is these students are locking things down very early. So the opposite of what people are talking about here.

Exactly. I don’t want southern son in laws. What if they are MAGA or their parents are? What if a MTG-type would be my daughter’s MIL??

The sky would truly fall. Obviously.

It actually would really be terrible to have a moron Trump-defender married to my child and the father of my grandchildren. Ultimately out of my control, but I’m not going to intentionally increase the odds.

What a judgmental bigot you are! I’m
not maga but I wouldn’t want someone like YOU as my in-law either.

+ 1

[Anonymous]

Haaaaaaa. No. I’m female and wasn’t worried. Met mine at 26.

I certainly don’t expect my sons to find a spouse by 22. Omg. I’d hope not.

Frankly, I don’t care if they marry at all, or even have kids. They should do what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t send your children to states with strong political and ideological differences from your own family.

I have two boys going to Top 20 colleges south of the Mason Dixon line. And they both have serious girlfriends.

And they are not unique. Their male friends also seem to have real relationships by junior and senior year.

The girls are great. Smart, lively, funny, kind. But I don't entirely love the idea of the boys finding partners so young. But real relationships and finding life partners seems to be the norm at their schools. Maybe it's a southern thing. Or maybe it's a good college thing. My sense is these students are locking things down very early. So the opposite of what people are talking about here.

Exactly. I don’t want southern son in laws. What if they are MAGA or their parents are? What if a MTG-type would be my daughter’s MIL??

The sky would truly fall. Obviously.

It actually would really be terrible to have a moron Trump-defender married to my child and the father of my grandchildren. Ultimately out of my control, but I’m not going to intentionally increase the odds.

What a judgmental bigot you are! I’m
not maga but I wouldn’t want someone like YOU as my in-law either.

Trump is the literal worst. There is no way my child would marry a Trump supporter. That isn’t bigoted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t send your children to states with strong political and ideological differences from your own family.

Don’t forget value differences. Why I, a native Midwesterner, would never send my kid to an east coast rich kid school. No moral fiber, no work ethic. Lots of plastic surgery and second/third marriages.

Political differences I (as a moderate D) can overlook, within reason. Values are non-negotiable.

So you really think east coast rich kids have no values and everyone has had plastic surgery? You sound downright stupid.

My sons are east coast rich kids, HADES boarding schools, Ivies and all. I sincerely hope they never meet someone who was parented by you.

[Anonymous]

Well, contrary to what most people tell others, everyone starts looking biologically at puberty and actively once teen years end. Our subconscious knows that 21-29 is peak of human virility and fertility and its all down the hill after 30. Obviously if you are not financially, physically and socially privileged to get good matches then you wait but feeling of a void is real no matter which excuse you give for being single. Not that you must and there is anything wrong if you didn't but its a reality which weighs on you due to evolutionary and societal conditioning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Outdated in elite schools. Every one, male or female, is so career oriented. No one is investing in "finding spouse" seriously. Most break up at graduation due to jobs in different locations anyway.

Yup and then they face issues finding healthy relationships due to their emotional and social incompetence. This modern philosophy of putting emotional and physical needs on shelf until you've sacrificed your youth for money and career, is backfiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and it's why I took California schools off their lists. I don't want them settling down with someone who is from so far away.

BTW OP, this happens whether or not you are in favor of it. This is one thing that you truly have no control over. So of course it should be a consideration.

Like...that they meet someone from California, or China, at JMU?

Then at least that person has already shown a willingness to live in Virginia.

I married someone who was born, brought up and educated in my small sphere but we ended up continent away from our families so no guarantees in life. We aren't an exception, most of our siblings and friends ended up far away from hometown, for love, profession or income.

[Anonymous]

My kid is wrapping up undergrad at a big SEC school far from where we live, and they have seemingly fallen in love with someone from the area. Long story short: they aren’t planning to come home after graduation. I’m adjusting to the reality.

But I must say the person they met shares our values and politics despite growing up in a very red state.

I think college tends to attract certain people, so there’s no need to worry about big curveballs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is wrapping up undergrad at a big SEC school far from where we live, and they have seemingly fallen in love with someone from the area. Long story short: they aren’t planning to come home after graduation. I’m adjusting to the reality.

But I must say the person they met shares our values and politics despite growing up in a very red state.

I think college tends to attract certain people, so there’s no need to worry about big curveballs.

Oh god. The south. That would be h@ll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and it's why I took California schools off their lists. I don't want them settling down with someone who is from so far away.

BTW OP, this happens whether or not you are in favor of it. This is one thing that you truly have no control over. So of course it should be a consideration.

Like...that they meet someone from California, or China, at JMU?

Then at least that person has already shown a willingness to live in Virginia.

I married someone who was born, brought up and educated in my small sphere but we ended up continent away from our families so no guarantees in life. We aren't an exception, most of our siblings and friends ended up far away from hometown, for love, profession or income.

No guarantees but you can certainly put your thumb on the scale.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a silly worry. Sometimes it happens, others not. DH and I met in college and we are very happy. Did not get married until years later and we lived in different states for most of that time. DS is still with his high school gf who goes to a different college. I actually think having a bf/gf in college while pursuing your own goals is really healthy and good balance, less of a distraction than dating which sounds annoying and exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t send your children to states with strong political and ideological differences from your own family.

I have two boys going to Top 20 colleges south of the Mason Dixon line. And they both have serious girlfriends.

And they are not unique. Their male friends also seem to have real relationships by junior and senior year.

The girls are great. Smart, lively, funny, kind. But I don't entirely love the idea of the boys finding partners so young. But real relationships and finding life partners seems to be the norm at their schools. Maybe it's a southern thing. Or maybe it's a good college thing. My sense is these students are locking things down very early. So the opposite of what people are talking about here.

Exactly. I don’t want southern son in laws. What if they are MAGA or their parents are? What if a MTG-type would be my daughter’s MIL??

The sky would truly fall. Obviously.

It actually would really be terrible to have a moron Trump-defender married to my child and the father of my grandchildren. Ultimately out of my control, but I’m not going to intentionally increase the odds.

It’s going to happen anyway because young women don’t want effeminate partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t send your children to states with strong political and ideological differences from your own family.

I have two boys going to Top 20 colleges south of the Mason Dixon line. And they both have serious girlfriends.

And they are not unique. Their male friends also seem to have real relationships by junior and senior year.

The girls are great. Smart, lively, funny, kind. But I don't entirely love the idea of the boys finding partners so young. But real relationships and finding life partners seems to be the norm at their schools. Maybe it's a southern thing. Or maybe it's a good college thing. My sense is these students are locking things down very early. So the opposite of what people are talking about here.

Exactly. I don’t want southern son in laws. What if they are MAGA or their parents are? What if a MTG-type would be my daughter’s MIL??

The sky would truly fall. Obviously.

It actually would really be terrible to have a moron Trump-defender married to my child and the father of my grandchildren. Ultimately out of my control, but I’m not going to intentionally increase the odds.

It’s going to happen anyway because young women don’t want effeminate partners.

I know many liberal men who are quite masculine. They just give a $hit about other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t send your children to states with strong political and ideological differences from your own family.

I have two boys going to Top 20 colleges south of the Mason Dixon line. And they both have serious girlfriends.

And they are not unique. Their male friends also seem to have real relationships by junior and senior year.

The girls are great. Smart, lively, funny, kind. But I don't entirely love the idea of the boys finding partners so young. But real relationships and finding life partners seems to be the norm at their schools. Maybe it's a southern thing. Or maybe it's a good college thing. My sense is these students are locking things down very early. So the opposite of what people are talking about here.

Exactly. I don’t want southern son in laws. What if they are MAGA or their parents are? What if a MTG-type would be my daughter’s MIL??

The sky would truly fall. Obviously.

It actually would really be terrible to have a moron Trump-defender married to my child and the father of my grandchildren. Ultimately out of my control, but I’m not going to intentionally increase the odds.

It’s going to happen anyway because young women don’t want effeminate partners.

So...young women are going to marry men without a college degree...because that's the group that supported Trump in 2024. College-aged men were still majority Harris.

Furthermore...both groups (college and non-college young men) swung significantly to the left in the most recent elections. Your comment reflects one subgroup in one moment in time.

[Anonymous]

No.