Was I out of line at the grocery store with a shrieking toddler?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:don't ever address someone's toddler directly without speaking to the parent. that is incredibly bizarre social etiquette

It's really, really not!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:don't ever address someone's toddler directly without speaking to the parent. that is incredibly bizarre social etiquette

It's really, really not!

DP here. If you don't want anyone to ever speak to your toddler, I suggest you leave them at home. I am ES teacher and have no trouble talking to children in public in an age appropriate way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:don't ever address someone's toddler directly without speaking to the parent. that is incredibly bizarre social etiquette

If a person is letting their kid act a fool or even encouraging it, that is also incredibly bizarre social etiquette so any norms are out the window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And see all the adults not confronting because its another adult behaving poorly but when its a 2 year old you just go ahead https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1294075.page

I commented on that post too and said that I confronted adults as well. I'm really not sure what kind of point you're trying to make.

The point is, OP choose to direct herself to a child versus the adult with her. If you would have talked to the mom instead of the child since you are consistent in confronting ADULTS about their behavior then the point wasnt for you. It is to amplify those of us saying, hey dont talk to the kid talk to the adult. :roll:

Too bad. People can talk to whomever they want to when they're out in public. What happened to "It takes a village"? Oh, you don't get to be part of a village if you're actually outside IN the village -- you just get to pick and choose, eh?

In the village, a kind motherly figure would have picked up the child and tried to console her. NOT yell at or punish her.

Exactly. Then checked to see if mom was ok or needed help. When I see a parent struggling I ask if they’re ok. Is there anything I can do? do they need anything? Can I put their groceries on the belt for them …stuff like that. Anything to acknowledge that there is a struggle or that it’s a tough moment helps.

That doesn’t mean I’m validating bad behavior by a kid. It’s checking in on the family to see if they need support. Instead of being critical or saying how they’re doing something wrong why not see if there’s something needed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And see all the adults not confronting because its another adult behaving poorly but when its a 2 year old you just go ahead https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1294075.page

I commented on that post too and said that I confronted adults as well. I'm really not sure what kind of point you're trying to make.

The point is, OP choose to direct herself to a child versus the adult with her. If you would have talked to the mom instead of the child since you are consistent in confronting ADULTS about their behavior then the point wasnt for you. It is to amplify those of us saying, hey dont talk to the kid talk to the adult. :roll:

Too bad. People can talk to whomever they want to when they're out in public. What happened to "It takes a village"? Oh, you don't get to be part of a village if you're actually outside IN the village -- you just get to pick and choose, eh?

In the village, a kind motherly figure would have picked up the child and tried to console her. NOT yell at or punish her.

Exactly. Then checked to see if mom was ok or needed help. When I see a parent struggling I ask if they’re ok. Is there anything I can do? do they need anything? Can I put their groceries on the belt for them …stuff like that. Anything to acknowledge that there is a struggle or that it’s a tough moment helps.

That doesn’t mean I’m validating bad behavior by a kid. It’s checking in on the family to see if they need support. Instead of being critical or saying how they’re doing something wrong why not see if there’s something needed?

Tell me you didn't read the OP without telling me ....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And see all the adults not confronting because its another adult behaving poorly but when its a 2 year old you just go ahead https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1294075.page

I commented on that post too and said that I confronted adults as well. I'm really not sure what kind of point you're trying to make.

The point is, OP choose to direct herself to a child versus the adult with her. If you would have talked to the mom instead of the child since you are consistent in confronting ADULTS about their behavior then the point wasnt for you. It is to amplify those of us saying, hey dont talk to the kid talk to the adult.

Too bad. People can talk to whomever they want to when they're out in public. What happened to "It takes a village"? Oh, you don't get to be part of a village if you're actually outside IN the village -- you just get to pick and choose, eh?

In the village, a kind motherly figure would have picked up the child and tried to console her. NOT yell at or punish her.

A village is a community of people you know. If OP said that she came around the corner, and realized that the toddler was her niece, or next door neighbor's kid, or a preschool classmate of her own kid (e.g. a person in her village) and had approached the toddler and spoke to them, that would be an entirely different thing. OP can correct me if we're wrong, but it sounds like this child was a stranger to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And see all the adults not confronting because its another adult behaving poorly but when its a 2 year old you just go ahead https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1294075.page

I commented on that post too and said that I confronted adults as well. I'm really not sure what kind of point you're trying to make.

The point is, OP choose to direct herself to a child versus the adult with her. If you would have talked to the mom instead of the child since you are consistent in confronting ADULTS about their behavior then the point wasnt for you. It is to amplify those of us saying, hey dont talk to the kid talk to the adult.

Too bad. People can talk to whomever they want to when they're out in public. What happened to "It takes a village"? Oh, you don't get to be part of a village if you're actually outside IN the village -- you just get to pick and choose, eh?

In the village, a kind motherly figure would have picked up the child and tried to console her. NOT yell at or punish her.

A village is a community of people you know. If OP said that she came around the corner, and realized that the toddler was her niece, or next door neighbor's kid, or a preschool classmate of her own kid (e.g. a person in her village) and had approached the toddler and spoke to them, that would be an entirely different thing. OP can correct me if we're wrong, but it sounds like this child was a stranger to her.

Stranger child is not allowed to willfully torment an entire store full of people because he has a dingbat for a mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And see all the adults not confronting because its another adult behaving poorly but when its a 2 year old you just go ahead https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1294075.page

I commented on that post too and said that I confronted adults as well. I'm really not sure what kind of point you're trying to make.

The point is, OP choose to direct herself to a child versus the adult with her. If you would have talked to the mom instead of the child since you are consistent in confronting ADULTS about their behavior then the point wasnt for you. It is to amplify those of us saying, hey dont talk to the kid talk to the adult. :roll:

Too bad. People can talk to whomever they want to when they're out in public. What happened to "It takes a village"? Oh, you don't get to be part of a village if you're actually outside IN the village -- you just get to pick and choose, eh?

In the village, a kind motherly figure would have picked up the child and tried to console her. NOT yell at or punish her.

Exactly. Then checked to see if mom was ok or needed help. When I see a parent struggling I ask if they’re ok. Is there anything I can do? do they need anything? Can I put their groceries on the belt for them …stuff like that. Anything to acknowledge that there is a struggle or that it’s a tough moment helps.

That doesn’t mean I’m validating bad behavior by a kid. It’s checking in on the family to see if they need support. Instead of being critical or saying how they’re doing something wrong why not see if there’s something needed?

Tell me you didn't read the OP without telling me ....

You are not making sense at all. Op complained to a child. She did not help. She showed no empathy. Her concern was entirely for herself.

[Anonymous]

NP. I think 20 or 30 years ago, what you did would have been welcomed by society - and kids were better off because of it.

Today, we learn to be incredibly hands off and looking the other way when we see bad parenting in public. Parents go nuts when someone does something like what you did, even though everyone - including the kid - is better off with the correction you provided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And see all the adults not confronting because its another adult behaving poorly but when its a 2 year old you just go ahead https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1294075.page

I commented on that post too and said that I confronted adults as well. I'm really not sure what kind of point you're trying to make.

The point is, OP choose to direct herself to a child versus the adult with her. If you would have talked to the mom instead of the child since you are consistent in confronting ADULTS about their behavior then the point wasnt for you. It is to amplify those of us saying, hey dont talk to the kid talk to the adult. :roll:

Too bad. People can talk to whomever they want to when they're out in public. What happened to "It takes a village"? Oh, you don't get to be part of a village if you're actually outside IN the village -- you just get to pick and choose, eh?

In the village, a kind motherly figure would have picked up the child and tried to console her. NOT yell at or punish her.

Exactly. Then checked to see if mom was ok or needed help. When I see a parent struggling I ask if they’re ok. Is there anything I can do? do they need anything? Can I put their groceries on the belt for them …stuff like that. Anything to acknowledge that there is a struggle or that it’s a tough moment helps.

That doesn’t mean I’m validating bad behavior by a kid. It’s checking in on the family to see if they need support. Instead of being critical or saying how they’re doing something wrong why not see if there’s something needed?

Tell me you didn't read the OP without telling me ....

You are not making sense at all. Op complained to a child. She did not help. She showed no empathy. Her concern was entirely for herself.

Again. The mother allowed the behavior to go on thus inflicting her child’s behavior onto everyone there. Op did everyone a huge favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And see all the adults not confronting because its another adult behaving poorly but when its a 2 year old you just go ahead https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1294075.page

I commented on that post too and said that I confronted adults as well. I'm really not sure what kind of point you're trying to make.

The point is, OP choose to direct herself to a child versus the adult with her. If you would have talked to the mom instead of the child since you are consistent in confronting ADULTS about their behavior then the point wasnt for you. It is to amplify those of us saying, hey dont talk to the kid talk to the adult. :roll:

Too bad. People can talk to whomever they want to when they're out in public. What happened to "It takes a village"? Oh, you don't get to be part of a village if you're actually outside IN the village -- you just get to pick and choose, eh?

In the village, a kind motherly figure would have picked up the child and tried to console her. NOT yell at or punish her.

Exactly. Then checked to see if mom was ok or needed help. When I see a parent struggling I ask if they’re ok. Is there anything I can do? do they need anything? Can I put their groceries on the belt for them …stuff like that. Anything to acknowledge that there is a struggle or that it’s a tough moment helps.

That doesn’t mean I’m validating bad behavior by a kid. It’s checking in on the family to see if they need support. Instead of being critical or saying how they’re doing something wrong why not see if there’s something needed?

Tell me you didn't read the OP without telling me ....

You are not making sense at all. Op complained to a child. She did not help. She showed no empathy. Her concern was entirely for herself.

What concern was the mother showing for the entire store?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And see all the adults not confronting because its another adult behaving poorly but when its a 2 year old you just go ahead https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1294075.page

I commented on that post too and said that I confronted adults as well. I'm really not sure what kind of point you're trying to make.

The point is, OP choose to direct herself to a child versus the adult with her. If you would have talked to the mom instead of the child since you are consistent in confronting ADULTS about their behavior then the point wasnt for you. It is to amplify those of us saying, hey dont talk to the kid talk to the adult. :roll:

Too bad. People can talk to whomever they want to when they're out in public. What happened to "It takes a village"? Oh, you don't get to be part of a village if you're actually outside IN the village -- you just get to pick and choose, eh?

In the village, a kind motherly figure would have picked up the child and tried to console her. NOT yell at or punish her.

Exactly. Then checked to see if mom was ok or needed help. When I see a parent struggling I ask if they’re ok. Is there anything I can do? do they need anything? Can I put their groceries on the belt for them …stuff like that. Anything to acknowledge that there is a struggle or that it’s a tough moment helps.

That doesn’t mean I’m validating bad behavior by a kid. It’s checking in on the family to see if they need support. Instead of being critical or saying how they’re doing something wrong why not see if there’s something needed?

Tell me you didn't read the OP without telling me ....

You are not making sense at all. Op complained to a child. She did not help. She showed no empathy. Her concern was entirely for herself.

You can't help a shrinking banshee or a moron for a mother. This person deserves no empathy nor her hellion of a crotch rocket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing and all the people posting here and sock puppeting don't want to be called on on their terrible parenting. These are the people you see out and about with uncivilized feral children. They don't want to have to be called out or forced to do their parenting job because they're so lazy.

I have posted several times in support of the idea that OP was wrong to approach the child, and direct her comment at the child.

If what OP describes is accurate, that an adult was encouraging their own child to shriek, then the person "misbehaving" was the mom. A kid doing what their own parent is encouraging them to do, can't be considered to be misbehaving, at least not at 2.

If OP had approached the adult, and said, clearly but politely, "That sound is painful to listen to. Can you please not encourage it?" She might still have been sworn at, but I would still support it.

But OP didn't call out the parent. OP reprimanded a child for doing what their parent (reportedly) was encouraging them to do.

[Anonymous]

Yes. You were out of line. That’s why you’re ruminating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. You were out of line. That’s why you’re ruminating.

I would have shaken her hand if I witnessed it.