How do people afford it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not the same poster that talked about having a housekeeper. That is absolutely not us. We clean our own toilets. We rarely eat out and when we do it’s a fast casual spot. We take trips to visit family or day trips that don’t require overnights. Even with that I don’t see how the numbers work out unless we move into an apartment and don’t save for retirement, which perhaps is a choice we could make, but doesn’t seem prudent. I appreciate the replies!

So it seems like you know your answer. And you probably have known it all along—you can’t make the numbers work.

Agree. Not sure how you make it work for two kids with that mortgage payment.
One strategy might be to consider a career pivot for either/both you and DH to yield higher salaries.
I left non profit sector for private a few years after having my first kid. Kicking myself I didn’t do it sooner. The salary/bonuses etc are worth it.

We're facing this challenge now. $350k HHI, $3200 monthly mortgage. Old cars, paid off. 2 kids currently in public, looking at private, but really reluctant to "sacrifice" jobs we adore -- true unicorn gigs perfectly suited to our personalities, family obligations, and professional aspirations -- for more $$ in private sector gigs guaranteed to be a poorer fit. If the school upgrade is truly worth it, I'd rather dip into home equity or retirement savings to fund it. But I'm not yet convinced it's truly worth it

What grades are the kids in? Do they seem happy? I feel like private school is paying for bottled water if you have good tap water available.

Are you my financial advisor? Because if not, you're the second person this week to give me this advice.

Younger kid has one more year at our delightful elementary school before (potentially) joining older sibling at (rather less delightful) middle school. Older kid is happy bc they can coast at this school and do reasonably well. Younger may not have as easy a time academically (unclear what effect pandemic/zoom school had on these delays, but if it did not cause them, it certainly didn't help). I feel like the right private could be worth it for each of them, but the best schools come with unreasonable price tags.

In theory we could take the budget for a more reasonable private school and instead spend it on tutors, supplements, camps, programs etc. But I would probably be the one in charge of arranging and supervising that whole project, and I don't know where to begin. Private also offers the advantage of being a turnkey solution. My dismal failure as a "homeschool mom" during distance learning is not a strong predictor of success at Jerry rigging an academic infrastructure, like so much scaffolding, around the basic product our public school provides.

(We are not Catholic and it seems that most reasonably-priced private schools are, more's the pity.)

The tutoring/camp thing is something you will certainly figure out. I think the only real advantage of private school is class size?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not the same poster that talked about having a housekeeper. That is absolutely not us. We clean our own toilets. We rarely eat out and when we do it’s a fast casual spot. We take trips to visit family or day trips that don’t require overnights. Even with that I don’t see how the numbers work out unless we move into an apartment and don’t save for retirement, which perhaps is a choice we could make, but doesn’t seem prudent. I appreciate the replies!

So it seems like you know your answer. And you probably have known it all along—you can’t make the numbers work.

Agree. Not sure how you make it work for two kids with that mortgage payment.
One strategy might be to consider a career pivot for either/both you and DH to yield higher salaries.
I left non profit sector for private a few years after having my first kid. Kicking myself I didn’t do it sooner. The salary/bonuses etc are worth it.

We're facing this challenge now. $350k HHI, $3200 monthly mortgage. Old cars, paid off. 2 kids currently in public, looking at private, but really reluctant to "sacrifice" jobs we adore -- true unicorn gigs perfectly suited to our personalities, family obligations, and professional aspirations -- for more $$ in private sector gigs guaranteed to be a poorer fit. If the school upgrade is truly worth it, I'd rather dip into home equity or retirement savings to fund it. But I'm not yet convinced it's truly worth it

What grades are the kids in? Do they seem happy? I feel like private school is paying for bottled water if you have good tap water available.

Are you my financial advisor? Because if not, you're the second person this week to give me this advice.

Younger kid has one more year at our delightful elementary school before (potentially) joining older sibling at (rather less delightful) middle school. Older kid is happy bc they can coast at this school and do reasonably well. Younger may not have as easy a time academically (unclear what effect pandemic/zoom school had on these delays, but if it did not cause them, it certainly didn't help). I feel like the right private could be worth it for each of them, but the best schools come with unreasonable price tags.

In theory we could take the budget for a more reasonable private school and instead spend it on tutors, supplements, camps, programs etc. But I would probably be the one in charge of arranging and supervising that whole project, and I don't know where to begin. Private also offers the advantage of being a turnkey solution. My dismal failure as a "homeschool mom" during distance learning is not a strong predictor of success at Jerry rigging an academic infrastructure, like so much scaffolding, around the basic product our public school provides.

(We are not Catholic and it seems that most reasonably-priced private schools are, more's the pity.)

You probably will do camps and activities outside school regardless of public or private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the only real advantage of private school is class size?

Lots of people also choose private school for some or all of these other reasons: Religion, non-coed environment, nicer facilities, social-emotional learning, more academic support staff, less focus on standardized testing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:on a $300k income, half goes to taxes

Something seems way off if this has been your experience. Our income isn't significantly more and according to TurboTax our effective federal tax rate (with the standard deduction) has usually been around 20 percent.

Add in FICA and state and you're probably closer to 30%. No idea where pp gets half though

Maybe they meant just money before take home(federal & state taxes, retirement, medical insurance, etc.)

If you live in DC you pay 7% in FICA and medicare and 10% in state taxes. Might be less in Virginia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the only real advantage of private school is class size?

Lots of people also choose private school for some or all of these other reasons: Religion, non-coed environment, nicer facilities, social-emotional learning, more academic support staff, less focus on standardized testing.

Yeah the standardized testing thing is the only issue I can’t make peace with when trying to decide to go public.

[Anonymous]

How is state of residence relevant to FICA?

Also, and I'll say it again, there's a cap on the social security tax after a certain income level. So for households making more than $160K, the percentage goes down as income increases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not the same poster that talked about having a housekeeper. That is absolutely not us. We clean our own toilets. We rarely eat out and when we do it’s a fast casual spot. We take trips to visit family or day trips that don’t require overnights. Even with that I don’t see how the numbers work out unless we move into an apartment and don’t save for retirement, which perhaps is a choice we could make, but doesn’t seem prudent. I appreciate the replies!

So it seems like you know your answer. And you probably have known it all along—you can’t make the numbers work.

Agree. Not sure how you make it work for two kids with that mortgage payment.
One strategy might be to consider a career pivot for either/both you and DH to yield higher salaries.
I left non profit sector for private a few years after having my first kid. Kicking myself I didn’t do it sooner. The salary/bonuses etc are worth it.

We're facing this challenge now. $350k HHI, $3200 monthly mortgage. Old cars, paid off. 2 kids currently in public, looking at private, but really reluctant to "sacrifice" jobs we adore -- true unicorn gigs perfectly suited to our personalities, family obligations, and professional aspirations -- for more $$ in private sector gigs guaranteed to be a poorer fit. If the school upgrade is truly worth it, I'd rather dip into home equity or retirement savings to fund it. But I'm not yet convinced it's truly worth it

What grades are the kids in? Do they seem happy? I feel like private school is paying for bottled water if you have good tap water available.

Are you my financial advisor? Because if not, you're the second person this week to give me this advice.

Younger kid has one more year at our delightful elementary school before (potentially) joining older sibling at (rather less delightful) middle school. Older kid is happy bc they can coast at this school and do reasonably well. Younger may not have as easy a time academically (unclear what effect pandemic/zoom school had on these delays, but if it did not cause them, it certainly didn't help). I feel like the right private could be worth it for each of them, but the best schools come with unreasonable price tags.

In theory we could take the budget for a more reasonable private school and instead spend it on tutors, supplements, camps, programs etc. But I would probably be the one in charge of arranging and supervising that whole project, and I don't know where to begin. Private also offers the advantage of being a turnkey solution. My dismal failure as a "homeschool mom" during distance learning is not a strong predictor of success at Jerry rigging an academic infrastructure, like so much scaffolding, around the basic product our public school provides.

(We are not Catholic and it seems that most reasonably-priced private schools are, more's the pity.)

Many non Catholic students attend these schools in the DMV because they are less $$$.
Hey, schooling in the DMV is full of compromises for those of us who aren’t wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not the same poster that talked about having a housekeeper. That is absolutely not us. We clean our own toilets. We rarely eat out and when we do it’s a fast casual spot. We take trips to visit family or day trips that don’t require overnights. Even with that I don’t see how the numbers work out unless we move into an apartment and don’t save for retirement, which perhaps is a choice we could make, but doesn’t seem prudent. I appreciate the replies!

So it seems like you know your answer. And you probably have known it all along—you can’t make the numbers work.

Agree. Not sure how you make it work for two kids with that mortgage payment.
One strategy might be to consider a career pivot for either/both you and DH to yield higher salaries.
I left non profit sector for private a few years after having my first kid. Kicking myself I didn’t do it sooner. The salary/bonuses etc are worth it.

We're facing this challenge now. $350k HHI, $3200 monthly mortgage. Old cars, paid off. 2 kids currently in public, looking at private, but really reluctant to "sacrifice" jobs we adore -- true unicorn gigs perfectly suited to our personalities, family obligations, and professional aspirations -- for more $$ in private sector gigs guaranteed to be a poorer fit. If the school upgrade is truly worth it, I'd rather dip into home equity or retirement savings to fund it. But I'm not yet convinced it's truly worth it

What grades are the kids in? Do they seem happy? I feel like private school is paying for bottled water if you have good tap water available.

Are you my financial advisor? Because if not, you're the second person this week to give me this advice.

Younger kid has one more year at our delightful elementary school before (potentially) joining older sibling at (rather less delightful) middle school. Older kid is happy bc they can coast at this school and do reasonably well. Younger may not have as easy a time academically (unclear what effect pandemic/zoom school had on these delays, but if it did not cause them, it certainly didn't help). I feel like the right private could be worth it for each of them, but the best schools come with unreasonable price tags.

In theory we could take the budget for a more reasonable private school and instead spend it on tutors, supplements, camps, programs etc. But I would probably be the one in charge of arranging and supervising that whole project, and I don't know where to begin. Private also offers the advantage of being a turnkey solution. My dismal failure as a "homeschool mom" during distance learning is not a strong predictor of success at Jerry rigging an academic infrastructure, like so much scaffolding, around the basic product our public school provides.

(We are not Catholic and it seems that most reasonably-priced private schools are, more's the pity.)

You probably will do camps and activities outside school regardless of public or private.

We do them now, but it's foreseeably much harder to say yes to $5k sleepaway camp if we need to direct that $5k towards tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In theory we could take the budget for a more reasonable private school and instead spend it on tutors, supplements, camps, programs etc. But I would probably be the one in charge of arranging and supervising that whole project, and I don't know where to begin.

This makes sense only by assuming that the opportunity cost of time for your child (and you, to some extent) is zero.

Word.

Although I see the math more as a comparison between the burden of taking on those responsibilities vs. the burden of changing to a less satisfying, but better paying, job. If wellbeing were a cryptocurrency, how many units would each choice cost me? I don't have a good answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not the same poster that talked about having a housekeeper. That is absolutely not us. We clean our own toilets. We rarely eat out and when we do it’s a fast casual spot. We take trips to visit family or day trips that don’t require overnights. Even with that I don’t see how the numbers work out unless we move into an apartment and don’t save for retirement, which perhaps is a choice we could make, but doesn’t seem prudent. I appreciate the replies!

So it seems like you know your answer. And you probably have known it all along—you can’t make the numbers work.

Agree. Not sure how you make it work for two kids with that mortgage payment.
One strategy might be to consider a career pivot for either/both you and DH to yield higher salaries.
I left non profit sector for private a few years after having my first kid. Kicking myself I didn’t do it sooner. The salary/bonuses etc are worth it.

We're facing this challenge now. $350k HHI, $3200 monthly mortgage. Old cars, paid off. 2 kids currently in public, looking at private, but really reluctant to "sacrifice" jobs we adore -- true unicorn gigs perfectly suited to our personalities, family obligations, and professional aspirations -- for more $$ in private sector gigs guaranteed to be a poorer fit. If the school upgrade is truly worth it, I'd rather dip into home equity or retirement savings to fund it. But I'm not yet convinced it's truly worth it

What grades are the kids in? Do they seem happy? I feel like private school is paying for bottled water if you have good tap water available.

Are you my financial advisor? Because if not, you're the second person this week to give me this advice.

Younger kid has one more year at our delightful elementary school before (potentially) joining older sibling at (rather less delightful) middle school. Older kid is happy bc they can coast at this school and do reasonably well. Younger may not have as easy a time academically (unclear what effect pandemic/zoom school had on these delays, but if it did not cause them, it certainly didn't help). I feel like the right private could be worth it for each of them, but the best schools come with unreasonable price tags.

In theory we could take the budget for a more reasonable private school and instead spend it on tutors, supplements, camps, programs etc. But I would probably be the one in charge of arranging and supervising that whole project, and I don't know where to begin. Private also offers the advantage of being a turnkey solution. My dismal failure as a "homeschool mom" during distance learning is not a strong predictor of success at Jerry rigging an academic infrastructure, like so much scaffolding, around the basic product our public school provides.

(We are not Catholic and it seems that most reasonably-priced private schools are, more's the pity.)

Many non Catholic students attend these schools in the DMV because they are less $$$.
Hey, schooling in the DMV is full of compromises for those of us who aren’t wealthy.

We are Christian but not Catholic. DCs Catholic school has atheist and Muslim families. A religion class is required for everyone. It's been great for us

[Anonymous]

It's worth it. Pvt school is absolutely not tap v bottled H2O. It's maybe more you want to vacation and stay at best western or a standard hotel room or stay somewhere with some actual amenities. Pvt school - the right one - not just every one - is going to give you a nicer experience for the kids and more than that, you really are more inclined not to worry about them falling through the cracks so to speak. Smaller class size, more interesting or creative class projects often, etc. Less tests for the sake of testing. You can learn well in either public/pvt and get if your vacation is great and you really don't care about accommodations go for the cheaper room. If you have perfect kids who can self manage and don't need a lot, also easier choice. But if you have a kid who is a bit more sensitive and could use some help in inspiration, a good pvt school will put you at ease as a parent. My kids have really good kids as friends. Not snobby rich kids at all. Done have more money than others but I am delighted that they come from good families. We also have the same friends in public as well. So if doesn't matter how rich kids only in pvt school will impact families - you will go find the people you should be with but in private, I am going to be taken care if just a bit better. I think it comes down to the kids, the preference and honestly we are taking about a lot of years for everyone so hopefully it's somewhat enjoyable as it can be for 6-9 years if you start from 3rd grade.

[Anonymous]

^ I wouldn't send my kids to just HS or elementary though I would send them MS and HS or Elementary and MS. I think MS is key because that's when you learn how to study and if sent to HS based on college you likely would do better in public HS and if they did well in MS why bother with HS pvt? If you do elementary for a strong foundation, you'd want to get through MS too as then by HS they will fly on their own in any setting. I think ultimately MS years is key because that's also when you start knowing what your kid is really like and they know themselves better too.

[Anonymous]

Private is great, but don't tap yourself out for it. Don't sell your home or put off savings for retirement. Private schools are not a ticket to great colleges the way they once were. Spend the $$ if you can afford it without extreme sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the only real advantage of private school is class size?

Lots of people also choose private school for some or all of these other reasons: Religion, non-coed environment, nicer facilities, social-emotional learning, more academic support staff, less focus on standardized testing.

For us, I’ll also add:
* Safety
* 5 day/week arts education (art + music + theater) vs 1 day/week, if super lucky, at our DCPS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a fed, DH works at a non-profit. We make 310 combined. 750k mortgage. No other debt. We want to send our two kids private, but at $40-50k a year per kid it doesn’t seem possible. Is there anyone in our situation that actually found a way to make this work?

That’s not big city white collar income. Nothing more, nothing else.
Fortunately there is aid, good public schools, lower cost Catholic schools too. It could be worse Op.