How to manage the stress of ups and downs of the 2WW and results

[Anonymous]

I'm just coming off a particularly brutal 2WW on my 4th IUI cycle trying for a second child. During this cycle I had a bunch of symptoms that I haven't had in previous cycles, only to get definite negatives on 12, 13, and 14 days after IUI. Apparently the symptoms (v. sore nipples, bloating, cramping) were thanks to progesterone supplements and nothing more. I tried so hard to manage my hopes and expectations, but was really devastated when it was negative. It hurt so much worse than previous cycles where I knew I wasn't experiencing any symptoms and that it likely didn't work. Now, a couple days later, I'm feeling a bit better about it all and can refocus thoughts on positive things, including our 3 yr old DS and the treatment plan going forward. But the days I tested were really, really hard. I would love to hear what coping strategies other people use to manage the stress?

For me, the 2WW is a cycle within the cycle - when it starts, there is some peace in knowing you've done what you can do and hopefully all the numbers and everything were good. The first week is not too hard because you know you can't know anything. Then the second week hits and it starts permeating your thoughts more and more. You start over-analyzing every twinge and symptom, real or not. Then for me, I start getting really anxious about when to test. The night before I test is often terrible sleeping. Then the absolute devastation when it's negative.

Have you all found any way to manage this? How do you keep expectations low? I know some people test every day, testing out the trigger and then continuing to see if a line reappears. Does this help manage the stress? I need some cognitive psychology strategies!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just coming off a particularly brutal 2WW on my 4th IUI cycle trying for a second child. During this cycle I had a bunch of symptoms that I haven't had in previous cycles, only to get definite negatives on 12, 13, and 14 days after IUI. Apparently the symptoms (v. sore nipples, bloating, cramping) were thanks to progesterone supplements and nothing more. I tried so hard to manage my hopes and expectations, but was really devastated when it was negative. It hurt so much worse than previous cycles where I knew I wasn't experiencing any symptoms and that it likely didn't work. Now, a couple days later, I'm feeling a bit better about it all and can refocus thoughts on positive things, including our 3 yr old DS and the treatment plan going forward. But the days I tested were really, really hard. I would love to hear what coping strategies other people use to manage the stress?

For me, the 2WW is a cycle within the cycle - when it starts, there is some peace in knowing you've done what you can do and hopefully all the numbers and everything were good. The first week is not too hard because you know you can't know anything. Then the second week hits and it starts permeating your thoughts more and more. You start over-analyzing every twinge and symptom, real or not. Then for me, I start getting really anxious about when to test. The night before I test is often terrible sleeping. Then the absolute devastation when it's negative.

Have you all found any way to manage this? How do you keep expectations low? I know some people test every day, testing out the trigger and then continuing to see if a line reappears. Does this help manage the stress? I need some cognitive psychology strategies!!!

Just want to say you are not alone. Also on cycle 4 (clomid and TI) and I got the phone call today (super early so I had a moment of real "maybe this is it!" hope). I had been feeling funny and over the week had become more and more focused on the result. I hope we get some good advice. And I am sorry your news wasn't better.

[Anonymous]

I could have written this post - you have captured the emotions all to well. I have been through more TWWs than I care to count (six so far, with one pregnancy) and wish I could tell you that there is a magic bullet in all of this. I have a glass of wine here and there (though there are plenty of people who don't drink at all during the TWW, and the clinic definitely tells you to "avoid" alcohol) and try to keep myself busy. Like you, I have a toddler at home, and I have found that the TWWs, as well as all of the other parts of the cycle, are a bit easier in some ways, since I just don't have as much time or energy to focus on it as I did when we were trying for #1. I also start testing as soon as I think I can get an accurate result and that actually helps to alleviate my stress. I know you're not supposed to do this, but I also don't go and test at the clinic anymore. I take home tests and if they keep coming up negative I eventually stop the meds. It is totally different for everyone, but I found that, for me, going to the clinic when I knew it was going to be negative and then getting that phone call just made it even worse. Best of luck with your future cycles.