Am I naive? Kid made the top team who can barely play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's grossly sexist and hurts all women, yourself included, when you make such allegations, OP, even on an anonymous forum. Why? Because you're perpetuating myths that persist in the minds of stupid people.

I'm not inclined to engage with your topic any further. Check yourself.

It's not a myth travel sports parents are unreformed frat boys and sorority girls who get plastered at travel events, cheat, and even swing.

[Anonymous]

Please get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:U9 boys, you say?

If the kid paid attention to the coaches and showed respect he would likely get placed on the team higher than a skilled player who is a dufus like most boys at that age are (my son and a majority of his friends fit that bill).

You can teach skills, you can’t teach coach-ability.

Oh absolutely. The kids were all actually very well behaved during the tryouts, I didn't see anyone goofing off or interrupting. Which was shocking. They must have been nervous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not in the DC area anymore so no use speculating on which club I'm talking about. Club's first year of travel is U9 for boys. My son tried out along with most of his friends, to the same club. Large number of kids seemed to be there, maybe 40? Since it's the first age grouping I naively assumed there would not be a bunch of politics involved. The club doesn't have a rec program so these kids were all completely unknown to the evaluators and coaches, although I know people know eachother socially (the head coach for the top team grew up around here, as did many of my son's friend's parents) and some people have older kids on teams so are already known to the program. Anyways fast forward until after tryouts, my kid got an offer to be on the second team (out of 2 teams). So did 2 of his buddies, and a couple other buddies got cut entirely. One of his buddies is a standout player and made the top team. Now get this- another buddy of his, who is very objectively not athletic, and does not enjoy sports, but whose mom made him try out, made the top team. When I tell you that at tryouts, he stood out as one of the kids who didn't seem into it and didn't get many touches on the ball in the scrimmages, I am being serious. He was placed in the lowest tier scrimmage group pretty quickly when they started evaluating.

Please tell me what is happening! Was it a mistake?? (he has a very common name- think Jack or Henry). Is his mom sleeping with the coach?? Like literally tell me why this might have happened. I am new to the travel soccer world and know I can't engage in unkind gossip with the moms of my kid's friends, because he's friends with this kid. He's also about a hundred times better at soccer than him and the kids that got cut are marginally better too!

OF COURSE there are long-established parent cliques and they aren't going to cut their friends' son. Dude, it's U9 soccer; it's totally meaningless.

Welcome to the real world. Very little in life is equitable, fair and based on pure merit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he really tall? Willing to play goalie? Some kids who are really tall aren’t the most athletic when growing so fast but have a lot of potential.

he is average height but built solidly. my own kid is skinnier but faster/ more agile, same height. my kid was a solid second team choice, this is not my own hurt ego or feeling of unfairness about this other kid taking a rightful spot from my kid, my kid will fit in better on the second team. what's funny though is that my own kid is also in the friend group of the 2 B team kids, the 2 A team kids, and the two cut kids. I myself did not grow up around here, nor did the parents of the cut kids. And my husband is not an alpha, social "guy's guy" with the other dads. He's athletic and tall but introverted and has no interest in playing the suburban dad popularity game. The parents of the kid who made the A team who should 1000% be an average to low average player on the rec team, both seem to have a lot of social clout. It really honestly just fascinates me that instead of throwing them a bone and maybe putting their kid on the B team to let them save face, they put him on the A team! Anyways point taken, I'm naive, and clearly not cut out for the travel soccer world of drama, fingers crossed my kid moves on to a sport where the parents seem less inclined to base their social lives off of what youth sports team their second grader made!

The kid is probably willing to play GK and no one else will.

Anyway, this phrasing means you and your husband have poor social skills and are probably regarded by others as awkward and weird. There's no such thing as the "suburban dad popularity game." Let me guess, you moved to where you are now from The City?

The kid is afraid of the ball and covers his face and ducks when shots come towards him. So, no. And our social skills are fine, we just are not strivers and we have both made friends organically with other parents we get along with. The boys club of dads who grew up in this town and never moved away aren’t interested in bringing my husband into the fold and my husband isn’t interested in being part of a 40 year old men’s boys club of people who never moved away after high school. So everyone’s happy to stay in their own lane. My husband is an ER physician and we moved here for his fellowship and ended up falling in love with the area. And we still love it! I just wish our son liked sports less so we wouldn’t have to witness this silly nonsense. I mean, this poor kid stuck on this intense travel team for a sport he is afraid of playing and isn’t good at. Luckily our daughter doesn’t have an athletic bone in her body.

Wow, you and your DH bot sound like real snobs.

What part of "we fell in love with this area and we still love it" makes us sound like snobs? Lol. When we first moved here we tried to make friends with everyone and it became very clear very quickly that there is a small town social hierarchy in place and while the moms and kids are happy to branch out (pleasantly surprised about the moms!), the dads were NOT. And my husband is the furthest thing from a social striver out there. He made work friends, and friends with 1 or 2 other dads who like to go running on the weekends together, and doesn't care about trying to get his foot in the door or of an old boys club that doesn't want him. It's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he really tall? Willing to play goalie? Some kids who are really tall aren’t the most athletic when growing so fast but have a lot of potential.

Or in one of the oldest kids.

Our girls ECNL team was originally made up of almost all girls born September 1-April. Big changes this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he really tall? Willing to play goalie? Some kids who are really tall aren’t the most athletic when growing so fast but have a lot of potential.

Ding ding ding.

This.

Alas it doesn’t work other way. System 1 thinking. It’s a real bias - and honestly is why smaller nations - Italy Spain Portugal hand USA our hat at WC and will do so again this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he really tall? Willing to play goalie? Some kids who are really tall aren’t the most athletic when growing so fast but have a lot of potential.

Ding ding ding.

This.

Alas it doesn’t work other way. System 1 thinking. It’s a real bias - and honestly is why smaller nations - Italy Spain Portugal hand USA our hat at WC and will do so again this year.

Italy didn’t even make the World Cup but in general I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he really tall? Willing to play goalie? Some kids who are really tall aren’t the most athletic when growing so fast but have a lot of potential.

Ha, I have one of those kids. Joined a U9 travel team after tryouts because older sibling plays for the club and they needed a few more on the B team. Pretty sure his height is what’s keeping him there. He has improved a lot and not afraid of the ball anymore, but it was rough the first couple of months. He is starting to figure out how to use his size and I assume the coaches think they can work with him to further unlock that advantage. I am not totally convinced but we’ll see. He is having fun.

[Anonymous]

I think you are too invested. It is possible this kid has some qualities you don’t recognize. Some coaches like the polite kid who listens and follows instructions and/or works hard. When my son first started he didn’t look like a superstar to many of the parents who had children scoring goal after goal. Yet, coach after coach praised my son for passing the ball, understanding positioning and having a good read of the field. Another possibility is that 2 players were confused with one another. If so, it will be discovered soon enough. This boy may well be moved or just sit on the bench. But I’d also like to caution you to be kind and watch what you say. Don’t jump to conclusions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you are too invested. It is possible this kid has some qualities you don’t recognize. Some coaches like the polite kid who listens and follows instructions and/or works hard. When my son first started he didn’t look like a superstar to many of the parents who had children scoring goal after goal. Yet, coach after coach praised my son for passing the ball, understanding positioning and having a good read of the field. Another possibility is that 2 players were confused with one another. If so, it will be discovered soon enough. This boy may well be moved or just sit on the bench. But I’d also like to caution you to be kind and watch what you say. Don’t jump to conclusions.

+1. Certainly there are instances where kids get placed for political reasons, BUT I’ve seen at least as many, and probably many more, where a coach has a preference for a player or a type of player that doesn’t align with the parent sideline.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]This sounds like some small town BS where the family of that kid is well connected in the town and/or the kid’s dad is friends with the coach. The coach either doesn’t want to mess up the friendship or the club sees them as a family who they want to keep happy maybe for reasons totally outside of soccer. It’s like if you have a friend who’s a real estate agent. They may not be the best one, but you feel obligated to go with them. [/quote]

This. Even in a mid size city, this will happen. Its all about social connections and popularity and who loves in different circles. Same with private schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's grossly sexist and hurts all women, yourself included, when you make such allegations, OP, even on an anonymous forum. Why? Because you're perpetuating myths that persist in the minds of stupid people.

I'm not inclined to engage with your topic any further. Check yourself.

Nah, Diana Russini is doing that for you.... the joke was funny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's grossly sexist and hurts all women, yourself included, when you make such allegations, OP, even on an anonymous forum. Why? Because you're perpetuating myths that persist in the minds of stupid people.

I'm not inclined to engage with your topic any further. Check yourself.

Nah, Diana Russini is doing that for you.... the joke was funny

Yeah, one angry person completely derailed the thread. I have no direct answer to the original OP, but my kid has been playing since U8 and is now U14 and we've come across many head scratching roster decisions. These typically resolve themselves over time, sometimes even during the year with a kid moving down who clearly doesn't belong.

[Anonymous]

It’s u9. Lots of parent involvement. You need to chill out or you’re going to ruin everyone’s season.